Driving speed child seatbelt violation $430 ??
On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 16:23:57 -0600, toto <[email protected]>
wrote:
Bull****. Kids require punishment. There are no qualified child
behaviorists or child psychologists who would say otherwise.
Saying it doesn't work with positive parenting is bull**** also. I
have far more experience in this area than you do, given your claims
below. I have seen kids who were never parented because their parents
refused to set guidelines or direct children who did behave poorly. I
have also seen kids who were punished too severely, and who have
issues due to this. The proper method is in the middle.
When a child misbehaves, the first time you need to point out the bad
behavior and instruct them on proper behavior. The next time you need
to explain that further poor behavior will result in punishment. The
next time they get punished.
At the same time you are doing this, you need to reward good behavior.
This means actually being a parent - which most Americans have no clue
how to do. You need to watch your children and notice good things as
often as bad things. Hug them, kiss them, sing to them, pray with
them, read to them - and do those things every time you witness good
behavior. Granted you may need to group the good behavior and reward
groups instead of single incidents, assuming the child behaves well
often. But in the case of a child who misbehaves often, rewards must
come far more often.
Take this parenting style and use it from the day the child is born.
Adapt it for age. A baby does not misbehave. A toddler generally
does not misbehave. A 2-year old does misbehave, and must be directed
in good behavior. Telling little Johnny to stop hitting the window
may work for some kids, but for others it takes much more.
Now, you can criticize my views all you want, but at 6 months my
children started receiving punishment when they did things that were
dangerous such as hitting a window. That punishment may have been
redirecting their attention (taking away that which they want IS
punishment). Sometimes it was a slap on the hand. By 8 months my son
would put himself in time out when told to. By 18 months he was able
to say he was sorry for misbehaving. By 3 years he would be warned
that further misbehaving would mean we would have to discuss
punishment. His desire to please us meant he would generally not want
to talk about punishment. I rarely had to punish him, because he had
both positive and negative reinforcement.
In addition to my children, I have more than 30 nieces and nephews. I
have seen their parents fail, and succeed. Believe me, the ones who
fail were not the ones who punished, it was the opposite.
Bull****. Changing long term behavior starts with changing short term
behavior. Once short term behavior is changed, long term behavior can
begin to be modeled.
Now I know why you are such a poor parent. High school teachers
generally are. Wait, let me rephrase that - all teachers generally
are bad parents. Their inability to control the classroom and teach
is as apparent at home as it is in school.
On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 16:23:57 -0600, toto <[email protected]>
wrote:
Positive parenting doesn't need punishment and punishment generallydoesn't work well in conjunction with it because the attitudes areantithetical.
behaviorists or child psychologists who would say otherwise.
Saying it doesn't work with positive parenting is bull**** also. I
have far more experience in this area than you do, given your claims
below. I have seen kids who were never parented because their parents
refused to set guidelines or direct children who did behave poorly. I
have also seen kids who were punished too severely, and who have
issues due to this. The proper method is in the middle.
When a child misbehaves, the first time you need to point out the bad
behavior and instruct them on proper behavior. The next time you need
to explain that further poor behavior will result in punishment. The
next time they get punished.
At the same time you are doing this, you need to reward good behavior.
This means actually being a parent - which most Americans have no clue
how to do. You need to watch your children and notice good things as
often as bad things. Hug them, kiss them, sing to them, pray with
them, read to them - and do those things every time you witness good
behavior. Granted you may need to group the good behavior and reward
groups instead of single incidents, assuming the child behaves well
often. But in the case of a child who misbehaves often, rewards must
come far more often.
Take this parenting style and use it from the day the child is born.
Adapt it for age. A baby does not misbehave. A toddler generally
does not misbehave. A 2-year old does misbehave, and must be directed
in good behavior. Telling little Johnny to stop hitting the window
may work for some kids, but for others it takes much more.
Now, you can criticize my views all you want, but at 6 months my
children started receiving punishment when they did things that were
dangerous such as hitting a window. That punishment may have been
redirecting their attention (taking away that which they want IS
punishment). Sometimes it was a slap on the hand. By 8 months my son
would put himself in time out when told to. By 18 months he was able
to say he was sorry for misbehaving. By 3 years he would be warned
that further misbehaving would mean we would have to discuss
punishment. His desire to please us meant he would generally not want
to talk about punishment. I rarely had to punish him, because he had
both positive and negative reinforcement.
In addition to my children, I have more than 30 nieces and nephews. I
have seen their parents fail, and succeed. Believe me, the ones who
fail were not the ones who punished, it was the opposite.
Punishment and Rewards work *only* to change behavior in the shortterm.
behavior. Once short term behavior is changed, long term behavior can
begin to be modeled.
baby on the way. I have taught high school math, been involved with
generally are. Wait, let me rephrase that - all teachers generally
are bad parents. Their inability to control the classroom and teach
is as apparent at home as it is in school.
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