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how to find whether a person is who he is

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  • how to find whether a person is who he is

    Hi

    I don't know which group to ask this question and hence I am posting
    here.

    How do I check out whether the person whom I met online (through a
    dating service) is what he said he is, i.e I have the name he gave me,
    the city he lives. I don't have the exact name of the office he works
    but he told me that he works for ???? (a government office). His
    outgoing message at that number states his occupation and the
    department he works at. He also said that he's divorced (in his email
    aside from indicating that in his profile).

    I was the one who initiated the contact (he was one out of the two
    whom I contacted). As we exchanged a few email communications hich
    went well, and then exchanged the phone numbers (note that we talked
    briefly on phone once; the contact has been email ONLY since we met 3
    months ago), I never thought that I would come to the point of
    checking things out unless we developed a serious relationship after
    meeting in person. At this point, I am not even thinking about
    serious, lonlastign relations that we both stated we want in our
    profile. But ...

    we plan to meet (we live 2 hours drive from each other; he doesn't
    push me to meet him though he always indicated that he would want to)
    and I feel that for the sake of total peace of mind, I should check
    into his identity and the info he gave me.

    How do I go about checking it? I assume that it is not illegal to
    check into it but what is the legal procedure? I have heard of private
    detectives but HOW to find them so that I won't be hiring the false
    ones.

    Somemone suggested me that I can check with county clerk office
    whether he has divorce paper on file but from what I gathered, he
    could have got a divorce before he moved to his current city which is
    the city that he said he grew up and his family lives. So he may have
    been born there. So I need the check followings:

    1. First, his true identity has to be checked:Ppicture and name match;
    age
    would be good too (he must have gone to high school there too)
    2. I need to check whether he is single or not; whether he is living
    with/involved with a woman, i.e has a steady relationship. In
    fact, I
    wouldn't want to get involved at all if also is involved with any
    woman in
    non-steady relationship. That's for later check..
    3. His occupation as he told me in the department of Homeland Security
    - this
    is to make sure that he didn't use such an occupation to make me
    gullible.

    He did say in his profile that he's a lawyer.

    I really don't think his identity is a problem but like I said, I need
    to have TOTAL peach of mind before I develope any kind of real life
    relationship.

    Please advise me on how to go about it? I have NOT got involved with
    anyone through online service, i.e I am a careful person.

    Because of the sincereness I sensed during our early commuincation, I
    have developed attractions to him and I want to at least see him and
    may be get to know him ....

    I WANT TO CHECK THE CORRECTNESS of all the info he gave me (I never
    asked and he never said whether he was involved with anyone; his
    profile implied that there shouldn't be a question) instead of
    counting on blind faith.

    If he is what he said he is, I don't want to miss out on seeing and
    knowing him...

    Any useful guidance/info would greatly be appreciated.

    Thanks.


  • #2
    how to find whether a person is who he is

    puzzled wrote:
    How do I check out whether the person whom I met online (through a dating service) is what he said he is, i.e I have the name he gave me, the city he lives. So I need the check followings: 1. First, his true identity has to be checked:Ppicture and name match; age would be good too (he must have gone to high school there too) 2. I need to check whether he is single or not; whether he is living with/involved with a woman, i.e has a steady relationship. In fact, I wouldn't want to get involved at all if also is involved with any woman in non-steady relationship. That's for later check.. 3. His occupation as he told me in the department of Homeland Security
    Heh. I can see where you could suspect this to be the old "I'm with the
    CIA/FBI etc."

    Homeland Security covers a lot of agency functions. Very few, if any, of
    them would justify him withholding information from you on the basis
    that, "it's secret." (Real folks in secret work don't tell you it's
    secret.) But, you say his agency voice mail identifies him when you call
    the agency. If that is indeed their number, or if you can reach his
    voice mail through the main agency number, there is such a person.

    You *could* hire a private investigator. They subscribe to information
    services that could, without field work, answer all of your questions,
    except the one about his personal relationships. It shouldn't cost too
    much. It's pretty simple. As to finding a reliable PI, ask a large law
    firm if they can recommend one.

    They can get legal records, drivers license, vehicle registration, the
    names of people using his address for those things, credit rating, and a
    lot more. How much it costs can depend on how wide you want to cast the
    net. Heck - they'll mail every court clerk in the U.S. if you pay for
    it. But really, it would seem that both of you should be able to open up
    to each other, given the well-known problems with cyber-relationships.
    He doesn't know about you, either.

    If you want a PI's work to take the place of that, be prepared to pay a
    lot of money to check out his life outside the legal/government/business
    records. And you still won't really know, will you? The only sure way to
    keep total peace of mind is to stay out of the game.
    --
    Gerald Clough
    [email protected]
    "Nothing has any value, unless you know you can give it up."

    Comment


    • #3
      how to find whether a person is who he is

      in article [email protected], puzzled at
      [email protected] wrote on 9/6/03 5:45 PM:

      How do I check out whether the person whom I met online (through a dating service) info he gave me. How do I go about checking it? I assume that it is not illegal to check into it but what is the legal procedure? I have heard of private detectives but HOW to find them so that I won't be hiring the false ones. He did say in his profile that he's a lawyer.
      Almost all lawyers are listed by Martindale-Hubbell:

      http://www.martindale.com/xp/Martindale/home.xml

      You can make a name check on line, but can get more complete info. in the
      Martindale Directory found in your local law library. Get a law librarian
      to help you use it.

      As you say, you are a careful person. REASONABLE care is a good thing, but
      something tells me that you may be worrying a bit too much here. After all,
      you aren't going to make any commitments until you know the gentleman much
      better.

      Comment


      • #4
        how to find whether a person is who he is


        In misc.legal.moderated puzzled <[email protected]> wrote:

        : 1. First, his true identity has to be checked:Ppicture and name match;
        : age
        : would be good too (he must have gone to high school there too)
        : 2. I need to check whether he is single or not; whether he is living
        : with/involved with a woman, i.e has a steady relationship. In
        : fact, I
        : wouldn't want to get involved at all if also is involved with any
        : woman in
        : non-steady relationship. That's for later check..
        : 3. His occupation as he told me in the department of Homeland Security
        : - this
        : is to make sure that he didn't use such an occupation to make me
        : gullible.


        Perhaps you should force him to take a lie detector test.

        Comment


        • #5
          how to find whether a person is who he is


          "puzzled" <[email protected]> wrote in message
          news:[email protected]
          He did say in his profile that he's a lawyer.
          You can start out with a search on the Internet. For instance, in Texas,
          the state bar association's website lists members. I've even put people's
          names in the Google search engine and come up with dirt ... If he ever
          posted on Usenet, that's easily discoverable... I think any investigation
          agency will need a SSN or driver's license number to do any kind of
          extensive search but then again with that information you could do your own
          footwork.

          dC


          Comment


          • #6
            how to find whether a person is who he is

            Gerald Clough <[email protected]> wrote in message
            news:<[email protected]>. ..
            puzzled wrote:
            How do I check out whether the person whom I met online (through a
            SNIPPED for brevity

            < you say his agency voice mail identifies him when you call
            the agency. If that is indeed their number, or if you can reach his voice mail through the main agency number, there is such a person.
            No I said that his outgoing message at his work number describes that
            the caller has reached the assitant counsel of the department of
            Homeland Security.
            If that is indeed their number, or if you can reach his voice mail through the main agency number, there is such a person.
            No. What I have is direct line. I could understand why he wouldn't
            give me the main agency number. Then I would be able to find out his
            office, won't I?
            You *could* hire a private investigator. They subscribe to information services that could, without field work, answer all of your questions, except the one about his personal relationships. It shouldn't cost too much. It's pretty simple. As to finding a reliable PI, ask a large law firm if they can recommend one.
            If I give the phone numbers I got, the PI can find out the info? Good
            to hear that.

            They can get legal records, drivers license, vehicle registration, the names of people using his address for those things, credit rating, and a lot more. He doesn't know about you, either.
            True. He doesn' know about me either except what I told him.
            If you want a PI's work to take the place of that, be prepared to pay a lot of money to check out his life outside the legal/government/business records. And you still won't really know, will you? The only sure way to keep total peace of mind is to stay out of the game.

            Yes sir.

            Comment


            • #7
              how to find whether a person is who he is

              [email protected] (puzzled) wrote in message
              news:<[email protected]>. ..
              He has my home phone numebrs. Can he find out my address? I am not renting this place. This is family owned.
              Why not check online yourself? Use reversephonedirectory.com to see
              if the number produces your address.

              Comment


              • #8
                how to find whether a person is who he is

                > He has my home phone numebrs. Can he find out my address? I am not
                renting this place. This is family owned.
                I believe that if someone wants to find someone bad enough, they will find
                them. And yes, it is possible to be found with just your home phone number.

                Brigitte


                Comment


                • #9
                  how to find whether a person is who he is

                  "puzzled" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                  news:[email protected]
                  No I said that his outgoing message at his work number describes that the caller has reached the assitant counsel of the department of Homeland Security.
                  [clip]

                  Have you tried running his name (well, the name that he gave you) through
                  Google ?

                  Funny, the site map for the Department of Homeland Security doesn't show any
                  counsel or assistant counsel -- http://www.dhs.gov/dhspublic/sitemap.jsp

                  Comment

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