"Long odds for love"

[Mike]

Long odds for love
Denise Rose has a master's degree in counseling. Her most recent
ex-husband has a high school diploma."I'm the only one I know who
married beneath me," sighs the twice-divorced Knoxville, Tenn.,
resident.
http://www.washingtontimes.com/cultu...5330-8270r.htm

[Larry Kessler]

"Long odds for love"

On 25 Sep 2003 06:36:24 -0700, [email protected] (Mike) wrote:

Long odds for loveDenise Rose has a master's degree in counseling. Her most recentex-husband has a high school diploma."I'm the only one I know whomarried beneath me," sighs the twice-divorced Knoxville, Tenn.,resident.

Less education = beneath her?

With an attitude like that, she deserves to be alone.

[Marcus Ulpius Traianus]

"Long odds for love"

Larry Kessler <[email protected]_t.n_e_t> wrote:

On 25 Sep 2003 06:36:24 -0700, [email protected] (Mike) wrote:

Long odds for loveDenise Rose has a master's degree in counseling. Her most recentex-husband has a high school diploma."I'm the only one I know whomarried beneath me," sighs the twice-divorced Knoxville, Tenn.,resident.

Less education = beneath her? With an attitude like that, she deserves to be alone.

While "beneath her" is a rather judgemental way of putting it, one person
with a masters' and the other with a HS diploma is a bit of an imbalance,
and does indicate that there's likely some variation in their backgrounds
(and possibly their attitudes towards education). It doesn't make things
easy.

Of course, if the genders were reversed... might not seem that unusual.

[Wendy]

&quot;Long odds for love&quot;

Marcus Ulpius Traianus wrote:

While "beneath her" is a rather judgemental way of putting it, one person with a masters' and the other with a HS diploma is a bit of an imbalance, and does indicate that there's likely some variation in their backgrounds (and possibly their attitudes towards education). It doesn't make things easy.

I totally agree with this. I don't consider people with less education
"beneath me". Most of my father's family doesn't go to college and they
are wonderful people - salt of the earth - but they just don't value
education all that much. They're too busy working and raising
children. I understand and honor their values.

But within the marriage the couple need to have similar world views which
are typically shaped by educational opportunities. Furthermore, they need
to have similar views on education for when/if they have children.

Of course, if the genders were reversed... might not seem that unusual.

It still would to me. I don't know any well-educated men who married
women who didn't at least have a bachelor's degree. In fact, most of them
met their wives in college.

One of my step-brothers (without a college degree) was in love with a
woman who wouldn't marry him, despite having a child with him and living
with him. She went on to get a degree in chem through hardscrabble work
at community colleges and state schools and left him behind when she went
to med school.

I've always wondered if she considered my brother beneath her. If so,
she's wrong. But she clearly values education more for herself and her
children than he does.

-- Wendy

[Emma Anne]

&quot;Long odds for love&quot;

Wendy <[email protected]> wrote:

Marcus Ulpius Traianus wrote:

While "beneath her" is a rather judgemental way of putting it, one person with a masters' and the other with a HS diploma is a bit of an imbalance, and does indicate that there's likely some variation in their backgrounds (and possibly their attitudes towards education). It doesn't make things easy.

I totally agree with this. I don't consider people with less education "beneath me". Most of my father's family doesn't go to college and they are wonderful people - salt of the earth - but they just don't value education all that much. They're too busy working and raising children. I understand and honor their values.

I think a large difference in education levels can be gotten over. I am
not so sure abot a large difference in intelligence.

[Larry Kessler]

&quot;Long odds for love&quot;

[email protected] (Emma Anne) wrote:

Wendy <[email protected]> wrote:

Marcus Ulpius Traianus wrote:

While "beneath her" is a rather judgemental way of putting it, one person with a masters' and the other with a HS diploma is a bit of an imbalance, and does indicate that there's likely some variation in their backgrounds (and possibly their attitudes towards education). It doesn't make things easy.

I totally agree with this. I don't consider people with less education "beneath me". Most of my father's family doesn't go to college and they are wonderful people - salt of the earth - but they just don't value education all that much. They're too busy working and raising children. I understand and honor their values.

I think a large difference in education levels can be gotten over. I amnot so sure abot a large difference in intelligence.

I totally agree with this. I've got a master's degree and my wife
never finished college, but she's established and respected in her
career and every bit as smart as I am, although I consistently score
slightly better than she does on standardized tests. She's got a lot
more common sense, people skills and emotional intelligence than I did
when we met, but I like to think some of it's rubbed off on me. :-)

We've been married since Valentine's Day, 1980.

[Bill]

&quot;Long odds for love&quot;

Emma Anne wrote:

Wendy <[email protected]> wrote:

Marcus Ulpius Traianus wrote:

While "beneath her" is a rather judgemental way of putting it, one person with a masters' and the other with a HS diploma is a bit of an imbalance, and does indicate that there's likely some variation in their backgrounds (and possibly their attitudes towards education). It doesn't make things easy.

I totally agree with this. I don't consider people with less education "beneath me". Most of my father's family doesn't go to college and they are wonderful people - salt of the earth - but they just don't value education all that much. They're too busy working and raising children. I understand and honor their values.

I think a large difference in education levels can be gotten over. I am not so sure abot a large difference in intelligence.

It might depend on the extent of the differences in education, though. I
mean, I would expect it is unlikely to (usually) work out so well, if we're
talking about someone who just completed HS or dropped out at 7th grade, and
stopped there - and a college graduate, for example. (Usually - obviously
there are always exceptions)

[Wendy]

&quot;Long odds for love&quot;

Emma Anne wrote:

I think a large difference in education levels can be gotten over. I am not so sure abot a large difference in intelligence.

I think I disagree with you. First of all, there are many, many kinds of
intelligences. I've got a photographic memory and so does my daughter and
we are highly successful in the things that schools test. But I'm lousy
at some interpersonal skills. I've got a son who can't spell "also" in
5th grade but who can spot trends, make connections and solve problems
with a brilliance that will never be discovered in school. And then there
are marriages like my brother's and SIL's, where she truly isn't very
bright, but has a sort of cunning about the needs of her family and is
good at meeting them. My brother appears to be very happily married to
her. He gets his intellectual needs met elsewhere.

In the end, I think the most important thing is to respect each other for
what you're good at, like each other, share values and have enough
"love" to be able to form a commitment. That's a good enough basis for a
marriage in my opinion. I don't care about degrees.

Wendy, whose husband got his master's many years after her