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NC alienation of Affection/ Criminal conversation Laws North Carolina

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  • NC alienation of Affection/ Criminal conversation Laws North Carolina

    We do not live in NC, but an affair occurred there beginning with texts and emails over the course of 7 years. Truly as friends as we had known each other 20 years prior, then it escalated after him saying his marriage was over. I was the mistress, regrettably. No excuses. We met twice in NC where we engaged in sex, where these laws exist. I never had any intention of leaving my husband and honestly cannot even understand myself why it happened. Then I became the cheated on along with his wife. My lover kept in contact with me, said to let him get through the spring to "see where we stand" all while I asked if he had someone else. He denied it over and over and just said he needed to get through a tough time, but he was still with is wife and me and his new lover. It all blew up this past summer and the wife found out, my husband found out, and the player got played because his new girlfriend outed them on social he now had a paper trail that led to his lies to his wife and to me. My husband and are trying to work things out, but I am stuck. He knows I'm stuck. I am sad, mad, hurt, embarrassed and at times think I'm having a nervous breakdown. Its affected our marriage, my trust in men, my ability to work, be a mom, be a wife, and be the old me. I was lied to by someone I trusted, which sounds stupid because he was a cheater, but i honestly was a friend for 7 years and trusted this person. My husband wants me to see someone professionally. I am angry that the lies of this other man have changed me. My husband and I cannot move on and now he wants this man to pay for taking who I was and changing me for the worst. I have admitted to everything but my husband is angry that this other man has moved on with his new mistress and in turn rubbing salt in the wounds by letting me know how happy they are. And I am devastated and my husband wants him to pay for what he did to me, to us. If we live in another state but have proof of his admission of his affair with me AND a new woman, can my husband sue him in NC where sexual activity occurred, for alientation of affection and criminal conversation. I am to blame here as well, but he was planning to leave his wife, and was unhappy and did indeed leave her...but for his new mistress. I cannot even believe I was part of this. But I want the old me back. And worry shes been destroyed by lies and more.

  • #2
    There's information about North Carolina's alienation of affection laws at the link below, but you would need to consult a local attorney to see if it would fly in the state where you actually do live.

    If you really want to get the old you back, my best advice would be to see a counselor. A lawsuit that airs all your dirty laundry is not the way to do it.
    I am not able to respond to private messages. Thanks!


    • #3
      In a word, no. YOU are the one who cheated on your husband AND with a man you already knew was married. I have no idea why it would surprise you that a man who cheated once did so again, but the only real victims here are your spouses. They do not have recourse other than to divorce you for adultery. They can not sue the other party to your affairs. It sounds like a lot of misplaced aggression and failure to accept responsibility on your part. For that, I suggest counseling.
      I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.


      • #4
        sitting on the bench next to Elle. No one can take from you what you didn't have to give. You can decide to blame this other man 100% (and he does sound like a scumbag) and maybe that makes you or your DH feel better. But you need to get help and figure out why you did what you did and how to move on from it, to earn your husband's trust and forgiveness and to be able to forgive yourself. It's a slow rebuilding process and I can honestly say (from the other side) that it will never be the same again. As much as you and he may want it to, there is still that little bit of "if she could do it once, how can I believe she will never do it again?". Personally taking full responsibility is a large part of the equation rather than blaming the other person. The reason you are a changed person is due to your choices....not just his.

        I strongly suggest the forums for both he and you. There are others there who have been there done that and manage to me it through successfully or realize when it is time to let go. I agree that a lawsuit targets the wrong thing and counseling would be a much better option.


        The forum is intended for informational use only and should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for legal advice. The information contained on are opinions and suggestions of members and is not a representation of the opinions of does not warrant or vouch for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any postings or the qualifications of any person responding. Please consult a legal expert or seek the services of an attorney in your area for more accuracy on your specific situation.