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  • #61
    Money question for the group

    Doug Anderson wrote:
    [email protected] (WhansaMi) writes:
    Doug said:
    That is an easy question. Money has nothing to do with what I get outof my marriage.The harder one is "would you keep your job?"
    Nope. Not me.
    It isn't a harder decision than keeping your mate? It is for me; though I'd probably keep both. I'd change my job a bit though.
    Hmmm....I'd quit my "job" and take weekends off and hire a nanny.

    amy

    Comment


    • #62
      Money question for the group

      Amy D wrote:
      Doug Anderson wrote:
      [email protected] (WhansaMi) writes:
      Doug said: >That is an easy question. Money has nothing to do with what I get out >of my marriage. > >The harder one is "would you keep your job?" Nope. Not me.
      It isn't a harder decision than keeping your mate? It is for me; though I'd probably keep both. I'd change my job a bit though.
      Hmmm....I'd quit my "job" and take weekends off and hire a nanny. amy
      Oops, not necessarily "quit" ---just take weekends off and hire a nanny.


      amy

      Comment


      • #63
        Money question for the group

        In article <[email protected]>, Brian wrote:
        On 9 Feb 2004 19:10:11 GMT, Ignoramus20725<[email protected] > wrote:
        In article <[email protected]>, Brian wrote:
        On 9 Feb 2004 10:56:49 -0800, [email protected] (Caren) wrote:>Brian <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>. ..>> On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 07:28:43 -0500, Cari{P} <Cari{P}> wrote:>>>> >JWB wrote:>> >> If you won 20 million dollars tomorrow, so work and money were never going>> >> to be issues again, would you stay with your spouse? Or would you split the>> >> money and then go your separate ways so you could have the life you really>> >> wanted?>> >>>> >> Since I asked, I should answer too - I would most likely stay married (I say>> >> most likely only because since I haven't lived it, it's hard to say for>> >> absolute certain, but I'm 99% sure we'd stick together).>> >>>> >> another question - what the hell happened to CJ?>> >>> >This is so funny that you as this. DH asked me the exact same question>> >the other night while we were snuggling.>> >>> >Yes, I would stay with my husband. My life with him is the life that I>> >really want.>> >>> >-Cari>>>> I'd be gone before receiving the first check. I mean I wish I could>> say I'd stay like the rest of you, but things haven't turned out as>> well for me.>>>>>Brian, my life is far from perfect and from what many posters write in>here, far from the relationships that I hear about. I think about>leaving from time to time, but the bottom line is, you take yourself>with you. I know that you think that most of the crap in your>marriage is her, but you finally wake up one day and realize what you>need to own. I blamed my first husband for everything until we>divorced and I went for counseling. I realized how I messed up and I>fessed up to him. I apologized for making him feel like he was>flawed...we both were. I then got into a series of relationships and>they were all wrong.>>Now I'm in a marriage, with its flaws, with a husband who has flaws.>And yes, I still have mine. If you could hang in there and work on>yourself (not just physically, as I recall you joined a gym or>something). The inside is what needs work.>>I am not at your house to witness your life Brian, but at the very>least, from reading your posts, you have a short fuse. It's hard to>live with someone with a short fuse-you never know what will make them>go off. I'm sure you have other flaws as well (as do all of us), but>try and focus on you, not her. Thanks for the post. I've never once said I'm not responsible for at least some of our problems. I've tried. I've messed up. I've gone to counseling. I've been supportive. There comes a time when you have to think, I'm just getting older and this is not working. I don't want to be here 5 years from now posting the same ****.
        you know Brian, who guarantees that 5 years from now you won't be evenmore disappointed?i
        In my current relationship or in another one?
        In another one, if you have another one. Plus, you won't be as
        involved in life of your two kids.

        i

        Comment


        • #64
          Money question for the group

          JWB <[email protected]> wrote:
          "Tai" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
          Brian wrote:
          Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant. Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first.
          We already have an accountant. But you are right, a good financial planner should be at the top of the list.
          I don't like financial planners. My accountant and me would suffice.
          Yep. I do my own financial planning. An accountant is necessary
          though.

          Comment


          • #65
            Money question for the group

            Brian wrote:
            On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 22:29:49 GMT, "kitty" <[email protected]> wrote:
            I'd quit work... I would stay with my hubby through richer or poorer. ...I'd hire a teacher, travel the world with the kids (giving them a historylesson were the history actually took place)... invest it so we could playwell into old age.."JWB" <[email protected]> wrote in messagenews:[email protected] ..
            If you won 20 million dollars tomorrow, so work and money were never goingto be issues again, would you stay with your spouse? Or would you split
            the
            money and then go your separate ways so you could have the life you reallywanted?Since I asked, I should answer too - I would most likely stay married (I
            say
            most likely only because since I haven't lived it, it's hard to say forabsolute certain, but I'm 99% sure we'd stick together).another question - what the hell happened to CJ?--JWBe-mail: jwb3333 at excite dot com
            Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant. Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first. --Brian
            You and me both :P

            --
            email:
            cari_p at comcast dot net

            Comment


            • #66
              Money question for the group

              In article <[email protected]>, Cari{P} wrote:
              Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant. Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first.
              You and me both :P
              Why hire an accountant? Is it much more difficult to manage 5 million
              than, say, $200,000 or $500,000 or $60,000? Obviously, if you invest $5
              mil into things like rental properties and such, it could get more
              complicated, but even then, it is something that can be done with a
              minimum of personal organization (read a file cabinet and a
              spreadsheet).

              I would agree that, say, retaining a tax attorney for some time may
              make sense. But why have a bookkeeper?

              i

              Comment


              • #67
                Money question for the group

                "Ignoramus15221" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                news:[email protected]
                In article <[email protected]>, Cari{P} wrote:
                Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant. Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first. You and me both :P
                Why hire an accountant? Is it much more difficult to manage 5 million than, say, $200,000 or $500,000 or $60,000? Obviously, if you invest $5 mil into things like rental properties and such, it could get more complicated, but even then, it is something that can be done with a minimum of personal organization (read a file cabinet and a spreadsheet). I would agree that, say, retaining a tax attorney for some time may make sense. But why have a bookkeeper?
                An accountant more knows the ins and outs of what I can/cannot deduct, and
                his fee is worth my not having to keep on top of that.


                Comment


                • #68
                  Money question for the group

                  Ignoramus15221 <[email protected]> wrote:
                  In article <[email protected]>, Cari{P} wrote:
                  Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant. Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first. You and me both :P
                  Why hire an accountant? Is it much more difficult to manage 5 million than, say, $200,000 or $500,000 or $60,000?
                  You need an accountant to tell you the tax consequences of your choices
                  and make sure you stay legal with the IRS.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Money question for the group

                    In article <1g8zq9j.m4d2gubcsenqN%[email protected]>, Emma Anne wrote:
                    Ignoramus15221 <[email protected]> wrote:
                    In article <[email protected]>, Cari{P} wrote:
                    > Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant.> Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in> reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then> 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first. You and me both :P
                    Why hire an accountant? Is it much more difficult to manage 5 million than, say, $200,000 or $500,000 or $60,000?
                    You need an accountant to tell you the tax consequences of your choices and make sure you stay legal with the IRS.
                    While I agree that it is a good idea to retain a tax professional (I
                    referred to a tax attorney), that's not what Cari had in mind when she
                    said that most people go bankrupt in 10 years.

                    i

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Money question for the group

                      Ignoramus18995 wrote:
                      In article <1g8zq9j.m4d2gubcsenqN%[email protected]>, Emma Anne wrote:
                      Ignoramus15221 <[email protected]> wrote:
                      In article <[email protected]>, Cari{P} wrote:>> Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant.>> Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in>> reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more>> then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an>> accountant first.> You and me both :P Why hire an accountant? Is it much more difficult to manage 5 million than, say, $200,000 or $500,000 or $60,000?
                      You need an accountant to tell you the tax consequences of your choices and make sure you stay legal with the IRS.
                      While I agree that it is a good idea to retain a tax professional (I referred to a tax attorney), that's not what Cari had in mind when she said that most people go bankrupt in 10 years.
                      You're in a different financial market to me but though the tax rules and
                      investment products may differ I'm sure they share similar levels of
                      complexity. Leaving aside the tax issues think about this:

                      Who is best placed to have a better understanding of most of the available
                      investments, you or a good financial planner? Who is more likely to have all
                      the performance history data at his fingertips? Who will be first to hear of
                      market trends?

                      Also, within asset classes there is another consideration. If I have $50,000
                      to invest there will be many good products closed to me that would be
                      available if I was investing $500,000. Where will I find the right product
                      for the amount of money I have?

                      It's like choosing to invest in the property market. If your funds are
                      limited then a property fund might be a good choice so that your risk is
                      spread over many properties and the fund managers look after all the day to
                      day work. If you have a substantial deposit or good cash flow for borrowing
                      then buying a property outright (with the bank) might be the best choice.

                      Many people need help determining what proportion of their savings should go
                      into growth (i.e. riskier) products. Balance is very important. Have you
                      ever run through a checklist to find out what kind of investor you are? I
                      have and it was quite surprising, I discovered I wasn't nearly as
                      conservative about money as I thought I was even though I prefer blue chip
                      and the stable kinds of products.

                      The main reason people probably run through big winnings is that they spend
                      capital rather than investing the money and living on the income. You
                      wouldn't be imprudent enough to do that but you might miss out on some good
                      investment possibilities if you rule out the idea of getting advice from
                      people who deal with money all day long. I'm not talking about slavishly
                      following some planner's directions but to use his knowledge base to extend
                      your own.

                      Again, I do sooo wish I had to worry about all this for myself.....

                      Tai


                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Money question for the group

                        "Tai" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                        news:[email protected]
                        You're in a different financial market to me but though the tax rules and investment products may differ I'm sure they share similar levels of complexity. Leaving aside the tax issues think about this: Who is best placed to have a better understanding of most of the available investments, you or a good financial planner? Who is more likely to have
                        all
                        the performance history data at his fingertips? Who will be first to hear
                        of
                        market trends?

                        To me, the paradox is that a good financial planner should not have to work
                        as a financial planner. Like a good stockbroker - if he's good, why is he
                        working at 7am in a cubical? I never got a good answer to that question.

                        JWB




                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Money question for the group

                          JWB wrote:

                          To me, the paradox is that a good financial planner should not have to work as a financial planner. Like a good stockbroker - if he's good, why is he working at 7am in a cubical? I never got a good answer to that question.
                          You don't want that one, you want his boss!

                          Seriously, a lot of people work for enjoyment for longer than they have to
                          for money. My uncle was a stockbroker until he retired and he enjoyed making
                          money well past the point where he actually needed to do it for anyone else.
                          His friends were in the business, he loved it and he was able to enjoy a
                          lifestyle where he could take long holidays and still keep his finger in the
                          pie.

                          It really is very important to shop around for a *good* financial adviser
                          and not use one that may be advising people mainly towards his employer's
                          range of investments. I'd keep away from planners employed by banks and
                          insurance companies, for example, unless I was interested only in a specific
                          range of products.

                          Tai



                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Money question for the group

                            "Tai" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                            news:[email protected]
                            JWB wrote:
                            To me, the paradox is that a good financial planner should not have to work as a financial planner. Like a good stockbroker - if he's good, why is he working at 7am in a cubical? I never got a good answer to that question.
                            You don't want that one, you want his boss! Seriously, a lot of people work for enjoyment for longer than they have to for money. My uncle was a stockbroker until he retired and he enjoyed
                            making
                            money well past the point where he actually needed to do it for anyone
                            else.
                            His friends were in the business, he loved it and he was able to enjoy a lifestyle where he could take long holidays and still keep his finger in
                            the
                            pie.
                            A rare breed. Very few people work soley because they want to. Good for him


                            It really is very important to shop around for a *good* financial adviser and not use one that may be advising people mainly towards his employer's range of investments. I'd keep away from planners employed by banks and insurance companies, for example, unless I was interested only in a
                            specific
                            range of products.
                            I understand - it's just that the words "financial planner" (or even
                            advisor), at least in the US, usually refer to someone selling whole life,
                            mutual funds, or the like. The term usually isn't used to describe true
                            professionals.


                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Money question for the group

                              On Tue, 10 Feb 2004 17:36:03 -0500, Cari{P} <Cari{P}> wrote:
                              Brian wrote:
                              Funny how not a single person said they would hire an accountant. Everyone thinks they could handle that amount of money when in reality, they can't. I read once where most people who win more then 5 million are bankrupt within 10 years. I'd get an accountant first. --Brian
                              You and me both :P
                              I'll chime in different. With that kind of money, I'd have the time
                              and resources to become my own accountant.* Rather than pay someone a
                              fee for rest of my life, I see paying for the education to become an
                              accountant a far better investment.

                              It probably wouldn't hurt if we decided to open a business either.

                              Tara
                              *FWIW, I do have the aptitude, just never had the desire. I'm willing
                              to bet a couple of million would provoke a desire. :-)

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Money question for the group

                                "JWB" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected] >...
                                "Ignoramus19353" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                                We had a great law professor in business school. He told us that most people, after getting a lot of windfall money (judgment awardss, etc) eventually divorce.
                                I heard the same thing. I find that very interesting.

                                We were discussing this question last week, but I never got around to
                                posting about it.

                                DF's opinion is that anyone stupid enough to waste money on lottery
                                tickets, is stupid enough not to know how to make their marriage
                                better, or get out of it. :-)

                                If we won the lottery (which would never happen because we don't buy
                                the tickets), the first thing we'd do is get married. We'd throw a
                                lavish party and invite all our friends and family. (This lead to an
                                interesting discussion itself... DF apparently frets that we need
                                money to get married the "right" way... it's not so much the wedding
                                part - he really wants to have a classy and tasteful party
                                afterwards).

                                He says he'd like to stay in the house we just bought, even if we
                                could afford a larger one. But we'd buy out our neighbors and either
                                rent out the other half, or remodel into a single family.

                                Might purchase a second place in the city - a penthouse in NYC - for
                                vacationing purposes.

                                Invest most of it, live off the interest. Not have to worry about the
                                four college educations facing us in the next 7 - 10 years.

                                He'd definetly quit his job. Probably find another one, or go to
                                school full time (not for any particular reason, just because he loves
                                to learn). Me, I'm not sure. I like to work, perhaps I'd cut back my
                                hours, or start my own company. It'd be lots of fun to become an angel
                                investor and be on a bunch of boards for high-tech startups. We've
                                also talked about owning a restaurant together. I have no desire to
                                run a restaurant or a pub, but owning one as a silent partner would be
                                cool. It'd be something we'd both just "dabble" in and let someone
                                else take care of the daily demands.

                                I would definetly take a trip to France and buy a bunch of custom-made
                                clothes, cuz I love fine clothes. DF would buy himself several
                                top-of-the-line bikes. We'd invest in art that we love but can't
                                currently afford. We would travel everywhere.

                                Basically we'd spend a lot of it and indulge in the things we really
                                enjoy, while also investing a fair amount of it. Money is meant to be
                                enjoyed, however, so we would live it up.

                                jen

                                Comment

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