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The other side of adoption: Mother tells of giving up child

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  • The other side of adoption: Mother tells of giving up child

    The other side of adoption: Mother tells of giving up child
    Decision was difficult, but seen as what was best for son

    By Mike Bockoven
    [email protected]

    Jennifer Gesiriech knows them only as Liz and David. Gesiriech's son, Nathan,
    will come to know them as Mom and Dad.
    Gesiriech knows it was right, that Liz and David will give 8-month-old Nathan
    what he needs, give him the life she couldn't. But as a mother who has given
    her child up for adoption, giving a new life and a stable home to her baby is
    an eternally wrenching experience, even if it was the right thing to do.

    November is National Adoption Month, which honors a subject that affects a good
    portion of the country. More than 2 percent of children currently living in the
    United States are adopted, according to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption
    Institute, and the number of children adopted from other countries has been on
    the increase for a number of years.

    The stories of women who give their children up for adoption aren't heard as
    often or as loud as the adoption success stories, in which a child from a bad
    situation is given a loving and caring environment in which to grow.

    That wasn't the case with Nathan. Gesiriech, who lives in Grand Island, said
    Nathan was a planned pregnancy with her then fianci. When the couple split, she
    found herself pregnant and with no job, no family in the area and no visible
    means of support.

    "We talked about getting married and having kids, and we were engaged. Nathan
    was planned," Gesiriech said. "I was emotional (when he left), but I was
    pregnant. I didn't have time to really dwell on it."

    Faith plays a big part in Gesiriech's life, so with her options limited and
    living in a small apartment, she said she began to pray about what to do.
    Adoption, she said, was something she considered after talking with friends
    about it, but she had a lot of questions.

    The Nebraska Children's Home puts out a pamphlet that addresses questions women
    have about adoption. Among the top questions are, "Does the father need to be
    involved?," "What are my obligations?" and "What happens if the baby is born
    and I need more time?"

    In Gesiriech's case, she chose the Highlands Child Placement Center in Kansas
    City, Mo., as the group that would help her make her decision. When she was 35
    weeks into her pregnancy, she packed all her belongings in four duffle bags and
    went to the center by bus.

    Nathan was born two weeks after she arrived, after nine hours of labor. Now
    that he had come into Gesiriech's world, her decision came down to meeting
    prospective parents for her child. That's when Liz and David came into the

    "She had such a sweet personality and a sweet heart," Gesiriech said. "David,
    he doesn't talk a lot, but he's kind of like a pillar. He seemed very strong. I
    saw them, and I knew they were the ones."

    The center helped a lot with arrangements once Gesiriech had chosen to go
    forward with the adoption, but the decision and the process were still very
    difficult emotionally. She said every instinct in her body was to protect,
    nurture and care for her child, and handing him over to people she had just
    met, though she knew a lot about them, was painful. In the end, she decided on
    Liz and David -- and also decided to say goodbye herself.

    "I was the one who actually handed Nathan to them," she said. "I got to tell
    him goodbye and physically hand him over. It was so sad, but there was so much
    joy and sadness in the same room."

    Months later, Gesiriech gets monthly letters from Liz and David with pictures
    of Nathan and reports from the agency on his condition, such as height, weight
    and development. She said, when Nathan is ready, she and his adoptive parents
    have agreed to let them reunite.

    Until then, she said, she doesn't struggle with whether she made the right
    decision, though it still can be difficult to deal with.

    "I've had people say, 'How could you do that to your son? Don't you want him?'"
    she said. "Of course I wanted him. Every woman wants to be with her child. I
    want him to know that I love him and this decision was so hard. I made a
    sacrifice to give him a life I couldn't give him. It's sad because I love him,
    but the whole thing has really touched my heart."

    More than anything, Gesiriech said she wants people to know some mothers who
    put their children up for adoption do so with a heavy heart and carry a heavy
    burden with them afterward. In her case, the stigma of her decision can
    sometimes sting, but in her heart, she feels she followed the right path.

    "I wasn't a teen-ager or a drug addict or too selfish to have a baby," she
    said. "I'm a mother who knows her child is out there and being taken care of
    and loved, and that's really important."

    A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
    be sitting next to you saying, "**** . . . that was fun!"

  • #2
    The other side of adoption: Mother tells of giving up child

    "LilMtnCbn" <[email protected]> wrote in message

    No mention of the man who gave her this baby in the first place. Presume he
    knew and was okay with it? Knew and was a jerk about it? Had no clue and
    a year from now going to show up on the apars doorstep, court order in one
    hand, social worker behind him reedy to take baby to foster care while mess
    is sorted out?

    And the girl. No parents anywhere? No family whatsoever? Aunts, uncles,

    I feel for the girl and her sadness, but still..odd story.



    • #3
      Since this thread was originally posted in 2004 and has not been added to since, had you not brought it to the surface by adding to it, it's unlikely anyone would have seen it.

      Please do not add to old threads.
      The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.


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