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  • #16
    Your problems with mom and baby sitting and lack of independent life are not ones that can be resolved in any legal context.

    However I think all the responders agree that conduct of moms male friends is over the top and into. Illegal areas . One way or another you need to contact police or a reliable counselor , school nurse etc with the best clear description of the various threats and hits and throws by name and date. And place as you can muster.
    your credibility may go down if you delay reports too long from the most recent hit or toss or whatever .
    But quantity and severity and repeat nature of hits, strike, throws and threats may add up

    Comment


    • #17
      You were given your options. You now just need to follow through on them if you suffer any physical abuse/violence from Mom's boyfriends.

      When you turn 18, you can move to where you wish.
      Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

      Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

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      • #18
        Thanks for everything I guess. I just really find it hard to believe that there is nothing I can do. It just doesn't seem right that in Missouri, this kind of behavior is acceptable.

        Comment


        • #19
          hat depends on what you mean by "this behavior".

          If you're talking about the shoving and slapping, it's not acceptable behavior in any state. The fact that you don't like the legal options you have does not make the behavior acceptable; it just means you have to decide whether you are willing to accept terms other than the ones you want to escape it.

          If you're talking about the babysitting, the yelling, and the not driving you, that's acceptable behavior on the part of parents as far as the law is concerned in all 50 states. Believe it or not, parents are allowed to use their older children as babysitters and to yell at them no matter where you are in the US, and in no US states do parents have a legal obligation to drive their children to activities.
          Last edited by cbg; 08-14-2014, 05:12 PM.
          The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by ShayGirlTurner View Post
            Thanks for everything I guess. I just really find it hard to believe that there is nothing I can do. It just doesn't seem right that in Missouri, this kind of behavior is acceptable.
            Any physical abuse/violence from the boyfriends of your Mom is not acceptable & there is something you can do about it if you will follow through & do so.
            Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

            Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by cbg View Post
              hat depends on what you mean by "this behavior".

              If you're talking about the shoving and slapping, it's not acceptable behavior in any state. The fact that you don't like the legal options you have does not make the behavior acceptable; it just means you have to decide whether you are willing to accept terms other than the ones you want to escape it.

              If you're talking about the babysitting, the yelling, and the not driving you, that's acceptable behavior on the part of parents as far as the law is concerned in all 50 states. Believe it or not, parents are allowed to use their older children as babysitters and to yell at them no matter where you are in the US, and in no US states do parents have a legal obligation to drive their children to activities.
              I am referring more towards he emotional abuse that is caused on a daily bases.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Betty3 View Post
                Any physical abuse/violence from the boyfriends of your Mom is not acceptable & there is something you can do about it if you will follow through & do so.
                What is it that I can do? Is there anything I can do about the emotional abuse too? Any help or advice that can end all of the pain(emotionally and physically) would be amazing.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Okay, let's get specific. Give examples of the "emotional abuse".
                  The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    NO, not as posted...short of mom putting you in a wire cage it is short of legal abuse ..and you can be called upon to babysit all hours school is not in session ..and to scrub the floors as well.

                    what you can do is take positive steps to,get the itinerant boyfriends your mother has out of the house IF your credibility about them hitting and tossing you holds up...if you wander off about how mom makes you baby sit or doesn't drive you to activities..you stand to loose credibility f a s t

                    Look, I don't know where this is headed..but unless you want to be posting here next year about more than just a few pushes and shoves form moms boyfriends you best take a proactive road to get them out of the place

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by cbg View Post
                      Okay, let's get specific. Give examples of the "emotional abuse".
                      The words they say, it's making me so depressed. I have anxiety because I am to scared of being yelled at because I do something wrong. The things they have said to me make me think very horrible thoughts. My sister has told me to go jump out my window( a second story window with a cement driveway under it.) My sister told me that i deserved to be Sexually abused by my uncle for 2 1/2 years. My mom has told me that I am just like my father(He is a sex offender and has been to jail more than once) These are just a few things that get said to me on a weekly basis.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Forget "emotional abuse". You're not going to be taken out of the house on that basis. Quite frankly, I'm not entirely convinced you're going to be taken out of the house on the physical abuse. But if it's going to happen, it's going to happen that way. CPS is not going to tell your parents or sister that they have to talk nicely to you or remove you because they're not. Not in any state.
                        The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          We told you what you can do if there is physical abuse.
                          Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

                          Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            BTW, no one is saying that's okay behavior. Obviously no one should, in a perfect world, be subjected to that.

                            But the world is not perfect and there is a lot of behavior that, while it shouldn't happen, is not regulated by law.
                            The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              I feel for you but the options you are being given are the ones you have.
                              I dont condone any physical violence and you should address that with someone at school or CPS.

                              What you are calling emotional abuse is much harder to define. If every child whose siblings told them to jump out the window or go play in traffic or jump in the lake was removed from their home, there wouldnt be any children at home.

                              Frankly, after my Dad died, my Mother told me she wished it was me instead. Try hearing that at age 14.
                              However, I got thru it by focusing on my school work and the things I could control and knowing each day got me closer to age 18.

                              I'm not saying it was easy or that I dont still have a few emotional scars. You have the ability to control your reaction to what happens and how you let it affect you. Be strong. The time will pass quicker than you realize.

                              Best wishes to you.
                              I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
                              Thomas Jefferson

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Siblings say things like that to one another. If this is your younger sib, then explain why saying things like that isn't nice. I very much doubt a little kid is seriously suggesting you jump two floors down to concrete thinking you will take her seriously and end up injured.

                                Parents often make remarks about their children acting like the other parent, often when exasperated. It won't win any parenting awards but I challenge you to find a single parent out there who hasn't done it at least once. The grass always seems greener, but until we are 18, we don't get to pick our pasture.

                                If you are depressed, talk to your Guidance Counselor. you may be suffering from clinical depression. The answer may be medication and or counseling, not getting thrown into the foster system. Having a plan for what you will do when you do turn 18 can help. Have a goal and start working toward it. If that is the military, start talking to recruiters and getting in shape. If college bound, keep your grades up, take AP courses, take the SAT, apply for scholarships and look at schools. If going into the workforce, take some courses in HS that will help in getting a job and prepare you to live on your own.

                                I volunteer with teenagers. I have for over 20 years now. Even my munchkins who came from the very best of homes frequently ranted about how life "wasn't fair" and complained about their parents. Heck, I did it myself as a teenager. I was the oldest in a big family so I get the hating to be stuck as the family babysitter and feeling like the little kids are favored. I have yet to meet a first born who prefers giving up hanging with their friends to watching the sibs, or who loves having to be the responsible one. It gets better and it goes with the territory.
                                I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.

                                Comment

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