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I need help ASAP Missouri

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  • I need help ASAP Missouri

    So, I have been having a lot of problems with my family lately. I have been hit by my mom's boyfriends. I have two younge sisters and I get stuck babysitting almost everyday all day. I have pretty much no social life outside of Facebook and my phone. A lot of my friends stopped talking to me because I can never leave because I am either babysitting or "spending time with the family" I have been told that I can get emansicpated and leave BUT I know my mother would never sign off on it. I cannot seem to find a way around this. I don't want to get my sisters sent to foster care or anything if I report my mom for neglect or abuse or endangerment. I would love to know if there is a way for me to leave my house. I can't get emancipated because I do not reach requirements and my mother will not sign off. I don't want to get my sisters sent to foster care because my mother does nothing wrong to them. It just seems to be me. Can ANYONE help me out????? I feel so alone and I don't know what to do :'(

  • #2
    When you called CPS, what did they say?

    The ONLY way you are going to be able to leave the house, legally, while still a minor is either if your mother gives you permission or if you are removed by the state.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

    Comment


    • #3
      Laymans view:

      Until you meet the requirements to emancipate by age or self supporting or in military service or whatever tHey are in your state ..you are pretty much required to follow parental rules. And if it includes a lot of babysitting or chores ...what's not a legal problem any one here can help address

      I doubt there is an easy way to suggest you need to sort it out with mom as to some chore time and some free time ..but that's sort of what it is.

      But if any of moms friends hit you or assault you in any fashion..you need not put up with that ...if you are in school ..counselors or teachers may be of help to get the ball rolling to get that conduct stopped and or friend removed from home picture....but you sort of need to speak up and address any assault to some appropriate child protection agency or a mandatory reporter like a school counselor ..People cannot help if they don't know you need help. Does mom know her friends are hitting you?

      Comment


      • #4
        How old are you? Where is Mom while you are babysitting? How old are your siblings? As for being hit, do you mean you are spanked as punishment (legal) or being punched, kicked, hit with an object, etc. or unprovoked? While I may personally disagree with a non-parent spanking a kid, the law isn't going to necessarily see it that way. How are you all being neglected and endangered?

        Your school Guidance Counselor is a good place to start if you need help sorting out what is acceptable behavior and what is going to take outside intervention to solve. They also have resources in your area to help you and your family. Contrary to popular belief, CPS is not all that anxious to rip kids from homes to put them into foster care. There are not enough foster families to handle those who truly need it, let alone those who just have a difficult family dynamic.
        I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Raster View Post
          Laymans view:

          Until you meet the requirements to emancipate by age or self supporting or in military service or whatever tHey are in your state ..you are pretty much required to follow parental rules. And if it includes a lot of babysitting or chores ...what's not a legal problem any one here can help address

          I doubt there is an easy way to suggest you need to sort it out with mom as to some chore time and some free time ..but that's sort of what it is.

          But if any of moms friends hit you or assault you in any fashion..you need not put up with that ...if you are in school ..counselors or teachers may be of help to get the ball rolling to get that conduct stopped and or friend removed from home picture....but you sort of need to speak up and address any assault to some appropriate child protection agency or a mandatory reporter like a school counselor ..People cannot help if they don't know you need help. Does mom know her friends are hitting you?
          My mother knows. I have tried to get help. That boyfriend leaves and another abusive one comes into play.I am 16 and this has been my life since my father walked out when I was 2 or 3. I can't take this. She is home maybe an hour and a half a day a lot of the time. When she is home she is sleeping. I really can't take this anymore.

          Comment


          • #6
            Help me please

            Originally posted by ElleMD View Post
            How old are you? Where is Mom while you are babysitting? How old are your siblings? As for being hit, do you mean you are spanked as punishment (legal) or being punched, kicked, hit with an object, etc. or unprovoked? While I may personally disagree with a non-parent spanking a kid, the law isn't going to necessarily see it that way. How are you all being neglected and endangered?

            Your school Guidance Counselor is a good place to start if you need help sorting out what is acceptable behavior and what is going to take outside intervention to solve. They also have resources in your area to help you and your family. Contrary to popular belief, CPS is not all that anxious to rip kids from homes to put them into foster care. There are not enough foster families to handle those who truly need it, let alone those who just have a difficult family dynamic.
            I am 16. I will be 17 in late December. When I am babysitting my mother is either at work or her boyfriends house or bowling. My two siblings are both younger than me. One is 12(13 in early January) and one is 7( 8 in early October). The hitting has a very wide range. It goes anywhere from being pushed into walls and being screamed at two inches from my face to being slapped or grabbed and thrown into stuff. It is hardly provoked. The neglect is more towards me. I have tried to tell my mother that I have sports things I need to be at but I never get time made for me. My sisters on the other hand, if they need to be somewhere its "okay. What time? I'll take you." when it comes to me its "I can't." or " You can't do that. You have to babysit." Endangerment because I have had a mentally ill neighbor bug us while I am babysitting and she is constantly having her Abusive boyfriends move in.

            I haven't started school for the year yet and I do not want to start school and then move to a different town like my plans are for when I turn 17. I don't want to quite be put into a foster home either though. I just want to find a way out of my house. My sisters need my mom and my mom needs them and nothing bad ever happens to them. I feel like the only reason she even wants me around is to be a FREE babysitter and a maid.

            There has to be something that will get me out of this house. I can't emotionally do it anymore.

            Comment


            • #7
              CPS is not going to take any action because you have to babysit or don't get driven to sports. Nor will being screamed at, no matter how close to the face do it. Nor will the fact that your sisters

              The hitting and pushing *may* be an issue as far as the state is concerned. The ONLY thing you have mentioned that comes even close to a legal issue is that.

              Be that as it may, however, until you are 18 you legally live where your mother says you live. An anomaly in your state's law means that law enforcement may be reluctant to return you home, at 17, if you are in a place that is safe. That anomaly does NOT prohibit your mother from personally coming to where you are and bringing you back home herself.

              Let me tell you again. There IS NOT any law or regulation or anomaly or loophole that will allow a 16 year old to move out unless she has parental permission or is removed by the state. You can say, There must be, all you want - there ISN'T. If the situation is not so bad that you're willing to consider foster care, then the situation is not so bad. If you only want to leave if its on your own terms, then it likely isn't bad enough for the state to interfere. So you need to decide. Are you being abused, or are you not? If you are, and if the state agrees, they will put you in a safe place but it will NOT be of your choosing. If you're not, then you stay where you are.
              The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

              Comment


              • #8
                ????

                Originally posted by cbg View Post
                CPS is not going to take any action because you have to babysit or don't get driven to sports. Nor will being screamed at, no matter how close to the face do it. Nor will the fact that your sisters

                The hitting and pushing *may* be an issue as far as the state is concerned. The ONLY thing you have mentioned that comes even close to a legal issue is that.

                Be that as it may, however, until you are 18 you legally live where your mother says you live. An anomaly in your state's law means that law enforcement may be reluctant to return you home, at 17, if you are in a place that is safe. That anomaly does NOT prohibit your mother from personally coming to where you are and bringing you back home herself.

                Let me tell you again. There IS NOT any law or regulation or anomaly or loophole that will allow a 16 year old to move out unless she has parental permission or is removed by the state. You can say, There must be, all you want - there ISN'T. If the situation is not so bad that you're willing to consider foster care, then the situation is not so bad. If you only want to leave if its on your own terms, then it likely isn't bad enough for the state to interfere. So you need to decide. Are you being abused, or are you not? If you are, and if the state agrees, they will put you in a safe place but it will NOT be of your choosing. If you're not, then you stay where you are.
                Can't they remove me from my home for emotional abuse though?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Suggestions

                  Stay in school and get the best darn education you can..thru college if possible..like it or not , a good education is one of the major keys to financial independence for many a young woman

                  Your beefs about being a full time babysitter are way short of a legal point ...and so far not real points about parental neglect or parental abuse and moms lifestyle may be far from perfect and still be way short of neglect or abuse. I'm not saying its fair to treat you as free babysitter..but this in not about being fair


                  However, while many a state may allow for corporeal punishment ( spanking)!by a parent or guardian..or even a school...but I am not aware of any such exception that allow for moms boyfriend of the moment to lay a hand on you or threaten you with harm ...and if they do you may want to seriously consider a report to your school counselor or nurse who is a mandatory reporter or contact law enforcement yourself ...what you describe is beyond a few harsh words or a routine spanking perhaps by wrong person... and may well be over the line into Assault and battery .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You don't mention when all of this happened, but if you are being shoved into walls, the time to do something about it is immediately following. You can call the police or CPS, or have your school do it. That falls into criminal behavior but isn't necessarily going to get you out of babysitting duty or your house. It may get boyfriend du jour out of the house though. You don't mention our father, assuming he is in the picture, nor other relatives. If Dad is around and or other family members, perhaps they can intervene on your behalf. Being made to babysit while Mom is at work and you would rather be playing sports is not going to elicit more than an eye roll from CPS. Neglect is far more than Mom not allowing you to have the social life you feel you ought to have as a teenager. If you have food, clothing, shelter and other basic necessities of life, you aren't being neglected. Mom playing favorites is also not neglect though it does suck.

                    A mentally ill neighbor also does not equal endangerment.

                    No doubt that your life has been difficult. I'd strongly suggest you talk to a Guidance Counselor or minister who can help you develop ways to cope with your family dynamic. In less than 2 years you will be a legal adult and will have more control over your own life. A counselor can help you develop a plan for when that happens.
                    I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Raster View Post
                      Suggestions

                      Stay in school and get the best darn education you can..thru college if possible..like it or not , a good education is one of the major keys to financial independence for many a young woman

                      Your beefs about being a full time babysitter are way short of a legal point ...and so far not real points about parental neglect or parental abuse and moms lifestyle may be far from perfect and still be way short of neglect or abuse. I'm not saying its fair to treat you as free babysitter..but this in not about being fair


                      However, while many a state may allow for corporeal punishment ( spanking)!by a parent or guardian..or even a school...but I am not aware of any such exception that allow for moms boyfriend of the moment to lay a hand on you or threaten you with harm ...and if they do you may want to seriously consider a report to your school counselor or nurse who is a mandatory reporter or contact law enforcement yourself ...what you describe is beyond a few harsh words or a routine spanking perhaps by wrong person... and may well be over the line into Assault and battery .
                      This isn't very helpful. All it is telling me is that I am stuck in a house here everyone makes me feel worthless and like a servant. I can't even understand how I can't even get out of my house for emotional abuse. The things that get said to me on a daily basis is beyond what any parent should have to say to any child. I can't understand how no authority figure will help. I have been to many different therapist and councilors. I feel like I am just trapped in a house where I am depressed all the time.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ElleMD View Post
                        You don't mention when all of this happened, but if you are being shoved into walls, the time to do something about it is immediately following. You can call the police or CPS, or have your school do it. That falls into criminal behavior but isn't necessarily going to get you out of babysitting duty or your house. It may get boyfriend du jour out of the house though. You don't mention our father, assuming he is in the picture, nor other relatives. If Dad is around and or other family members, perhaps they can intervene on your behalf. Being made to babysit while Mom is at work and you would rather be playing sports is not going to elicit more than an eye roll from CPS. Neglect is far more than Mom not allowing you to have the social life you feel you ought to have as a teenager. If you have food, clothing, shelter and other basic necessities of life, you aren't being neglected. Mom playing favorites is also not neglect though it does suck.

                        A mentally ill neighbor also does not equal endangerment.

                        No doubt that your life has been difficult. I'd strongly suggest you talk to a Guidance Counselor or minister who can help you develop ways to cope with your family dynamic. In less than 2 years you will be a legal adult and will have more control over your own life. A counselor can help you develop a plan for when that happens.
                        I cannot mentally take anymore of this. I feel depressed all the time. I feel like I am trapped. I feel have had very horrible things said to me by my own family. I get told horrible thing about my appearance, my personality, and me just in general.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm not unsympathetic to your situation but no, "emotional abuse" is not going to cut it. Not if you're expecting to be removed from the home on the basis of having to babysit.

                          But you can be darned sure nothing is going to happen if you don't call them.
                          The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            question/advice

                            Originally posted by cbg View Post
                            I'm not unsympathetic to your situation but no, "emotional abuse" is not going to cut it. Not if you're expecting to be removed from the home on the basis of having to babysit.

                            But you can be darned sure nothing is going to happen if you don't call them.
                            If i was to call them, what would I say? I am not use to any of this. I have never been able to open up to any adult. I am surprised I was even able to open up to this website.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You just tell them what is happening. Preferably immediately after it happens.

                              Remember, the ONLY thing that has any chance of taking you out of the situation is the physical violence. So you need to call them as soon as you can get to a phone after it happens. None of the rest of what you've said means anything, legally.
                              The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

                              Comment

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