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Suppot Modification Motion Against My Wife Missouri

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  • Suppot Modification Motion Against My Wife Missouri

    Yesterday my wife received a motion for modification from the sheriff. she was the petitioner of the divorce decree. This is completely out of the blue. Her ex did not seek to resolve this in any way other than through this manner.

    My wife has requested he agree to using M.A.R.C.H., a free, state-sponsored parental mediation program to see about coming to some kind of agreement. We put this request in writing and just mailed it to him via certified mail. We've set a 10 day window on a response from him, so we have time to secure an attorney just in case.

    In the legal motion paperwork, it states the Respondant (ex-husband) experienced an involuntary reduction in income that would affect support by more than 20%. This is questionable. The man quit his job and started his own business. That doesn't sound involuntary to me.

    Additionally, his family income is now more than it was previously at the time of the divorce. As proof, he has since bought a home, 2 new vehicles, done home remodeling, purchased an ATV, high-end Riding Lawn mower, brand new kitchen appliances, and several other major purchases.

    During this same time, my wife and I have had a drastic reduction in income because I lost my job twice in the last 4 years and experienced about 8 months of unemployment. I am now making 39% less than I was. We have also had another child. He is now 2. I am currently working full time, she's working full time, I'm going to college full time as well and have those expenses.

    What's further, is that the father has the right to 6 weeks of visitation during each summer. In both of the last 2 summers, he has declined this visitation. Due to this, we had to secure additional child care (which the father did not contribute to).

    My wife and I have qualified for WIC program and other financial assistance programs. Yet, the motion states that my wife makes a "substantial and lucrative income" and therefore asks that WE pay for the cost of the Respondants (ex-husband) attorney fees in this matter.

    There is much more that I am leaving out, but for brevity's sake, will add later if needed.

    So... what's the deal. He lied in the motion that he signed about his "involuntary" reduction in pay... we're certainly NOT making a substantial or lucrative amount of money (as evidenced by the PayDay loans we currently have out and the state assistance granted)... what can we do?

    <<<< Chord ===
    Last edited by chordringer; 10-11-2007, 01:34 PM. Reason: mispelled word

  • #2
    Please add this to your original post, instead of starting a new thread.
    Please no private messages about your situation.


    • #3
      and just for anyone else reading this...

      Your wife's oldest son is now living with her ex. Modification is entirely appropriate. None of your income or his family's income matters. Only your wife's and his. Extra expenses, such as the expense of your new child is irrelevant.
      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
      (unique up on him)
      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
      (same way)


      • #4
        Not so fast... you're not reading into this right...

        Ex-husband is harboring the boy against our wishes. The door is open at our house. The boy just doesn't want to come home. Ex-husband is stonewalling and not letting us take custody of the boy, and has threatened trespassing consequences if we go to his home.

        The ex-husband is NOT the legal guardian of the child. My wife is. So you are saying the law says this kind of situation can exist and he STILL has a right to CS?


        The only reason the boy doesn't want to come home is because he is asked to be responsible (keep his room clean, and do a very modest amount of chores 3 times a week... chores are to vacuum the living room , take out trash, and sweep and mop kitchen floor). It's not like we are beating the child or neglecting him.
        Last edited by chordringer; 10-12-2007, 10:03 AM. Reason: added more


        • #5
          if she has custody- she needs to pick the child up- from school whatever. She certainly has the right to go onto his property to get the child. have her take the papers and the police.
          i doubt he will get a reduction if it is voluntary.
          your income or lack of, college exp, more kids, etc do not matter
          neither does his wife's income or whether she buys a big house with her money and a bunch of toys

          all that matters is what your wife makes and how much it has changed and why it has changed
          what her ex makes and how much he did make and why
          how many children and who has legal custody
          in a few states the amount of time ncp spends with child will factor into cs, so not taking summers MIGHT factor.


          • #6
            Alright, so...

            We can pick up the child and do all of that, but what happens when he runs away, or beats up one of his siblings, his mom, etc.

            I'm hearing it both ways... we can pick up the child at the guy's house, and no, we can't. Maybe we'll just sort all of this out at the attorney's house and get some kind of court order against the ex-husband. Because the man is going to aid the boy any chance he gets, regardless of whether it is appropriate or not.

            For 2.5 years after their divorce, the man didn't pay one penny in CS for the boy (he claimed it's not his kid). Fine, we didn't expect him to. For him to turn around and use the boy against us in this manner is inappropriate and ridiculous.

            Then, the fact that he insists he will do everything in his power to prevent him from coming back over, etc. is just over the top.

            thanks for the responses.... it's very encouraging getting some discussion on this. But, I'm still very cloudy in understanding the lineation of the law in this matter.


            • #7
              But, I'm still very cloudy in understanding the lineation of the law in this matter.
              The entire state of Missouri is cloudy in the understanding of their law when it comes to dealing with 17 year old minors.

              My only thought is that you are going to have a difficult time (if not impossilbe) forcing him home.

              However, as you have proof that you are not in agreement with him remaining there, the child support modification based on this issue should be denied.
              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
              (unique up on him)
              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
              (same way)


              • #8
                I'm not so much worried about the reduction in CS at this point. We have substantial evidence of increased child expenses we've had to pay. Further, he is not following the decree as outlined because he is not providing the medical insurance on the children - his wife is.

                What's more, is that WE are the one's that drive 140+ miles round trip to take the kids to their doctor's appointments, pay the copays some times. In addition my wife has supplemental insurance on the kids that reduce the ex-husband's medical out of pocket expense drastically.

                What's more is that the ex-husband's stepson through his new wife has been under house arrest, expelled from school, and has a problem with anger in general. The reason the ex-husband has not accepted visitation from the kids during the summer is because he cites that the abusive stepson is a danger to his daughter and he might attack her.

                Additionally, three weeks ago, we learned that this same abusive stepson has a large cache of child porn on the computer showing girls in the same age range as the daughter. When we confronted the ex-husband on the matter, he did nothing about it at all and condoned this behavior.

                We have been looking for a way around this, but at this time my wife and I feel it would be highly risky to let the daughter anyway around this abusive stepson.

                A possible end to the 17 year old issue I've been talking about so far would have been to let the ex-husband adopt the boy. Unfortunately, the ex-husband was at one time accused of child molestation himself when he was a young adult, and therefore cannot adopt children.

                If we go to court, all of these facts will be brought forth, and the ex-husband will have the great chance of having the joint custody status removed and full custody granted to my wife. In which case, the CS modification will likely go out of his favor.

                There are many other things we "have" on the guy, but right now we are simply concerned with the well-being of the children and way to manage this without a legal battle. If he doesn't want to go through mediation we may well have to go all the way.


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