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Help Vistation Problems!!!!!!!!! Missouri

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  • Help Vistation Problems!!!!!!!!! Missouri

    My husband has 4 children from a 19 year marriage. He pays 1500 in alomy and 1301 in child support. We got a lawyer to modify the alomy and get it changed from visitation to joint custody. The problem is the middle child is 16 and is very involved in the jehovah witness. (My husband raised all of them in that religion) The 16 year old said he is not coming to see him(my husband) anymore because he is living in sin for remarrying and not going to that church anymore. He has explained to him that he is not willing to drive 200 extra miles every other weekend to take him to Church but my husband is more than willing to take him to another JW. church closer to the house. The 16 year old says that we will have to get the cops to drag him out of his mom's house if we want to see him. Is he old enough to has this say so? The oldest is 18 and comes every time visitation. The mom is pissed that we got married and is very controlling of what the kids do with us. I have horses and she do not want her kids around them. How do we explain to the 13 year old little girl that she cant pet them or play with them. The mother also has a problem with our boxer dog. Can she prevent the kids from coming over because of the horses and the dog? It is in the divorce that he gets all 4 of them very Wednesday and every other weekend.
    Sorry so long. We would ask our lawyer but he is busy and only can see us in a month notice. I need to know by this Wednesday how to get the 16 year old to come see his Dad.

  • #2
    unless your horses or dogs or dangerous or the child is allergic, she cannot control that. He needs to call momma and tell her that unless all the children come to every visitation, he will file contempt charges against her. It is her job to make sure they go to visitation.

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    • #3
      re:

      Thank you. They have no problems with my dog or my horses the X is just trying to run our household. So should we get the police involved to enforce the court order ?

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      • #4
        you can ask the police to go with you to pick up the children. they will not remove the child is he refuses to go though. They will only make note of it. This report will allow you to prove the contempt

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        • #5
          Thanks again. If there is anything you think of please let me know. Lets cross our fingers and hope that we do not have to get the police involved in front of the kids.

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          • #6
            Simpiy inform the 16 yo

            Tell the sixteen year old that while he refuses to come see his father, he is causing his mother to break the contract, which can cause her problems with the court, which is ilegal, and imoral and by extention sinful. Tell him if he refuses to come based on a religion which prevents him from associating with his parent that he is doing the typical thing "Christians" do, and that is twisting their religion to allow them to sin with a clear conscious. This is against the law and immoral. Any religion which is used to battle for child custody is being used for evil. You might also mention that to refuse to see Dad based on HIS MORAL judgement (the 16 y.o.) that the Dad is living in sin, is another form of blackmail, again imoral and ilegal. It is given only to GOD to Judge man for his sins. If you believe in that crap.
            Last edited by rcpilot; 02-19-2007, 11:14 AM.
            What is veiwed is not always what is seen and
            what is heard is not always what is spoken!
            ~M. Noitall~

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            • #7
              he needs to call her and state something like "I will be picking up all of the children for their court ordered visitation this wed at xxxx. Please make sure that they are all ready. Also, please help me to enforce this order of I will be forced to file contempt charges." That should get her. Most of the time, if they know that you aren't stupid about the law, they will back down

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              • #8
                visitation

                I don't believe children who are 13 years of age or older should be made to go see the other parent. The child needs to have a say it is their live too. I hate that your husband's son isn't coming to see his dad, but I don't believe dad should force the issue. I believe if he forces the issue he will only drive his son in the opposite direction.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by tinkercat View Post
                  I don't believe children who are 13 years of age or older should be made to go see the other parent. The child needs to have a say it is their live too. I hate that your husband's son isn't coming to see his dad, but I don't believe dad should force the issue. I believe if he forces the issue he will only drive his son in the opposite direction.
                  It doesn't matter what you, or anyone else THINKS- if there is a court order for vistation, the ONLY thing that matters is what that order says. Legally, children do NOT have the right to have a say in visits, just like thay don't have a say in whether or not to go to school, the Dr, ect.

                  Court orders have to be obeyed, or the CP can find themselves in contempt of court and in some cases they can lose custody.

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                  • #10
                    Well, this explains her opinion..as legally invalid as it is.

                    http://www.LaborLawTalk.com/showthread.php?t=174902
                    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                    (unique up on him)
                    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                    (same way)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by rcpilot View Post
                      Tell the sixteen year old that while he refuses to come see his father, he is causing his mother to break the contract, which can cause her problems with the court, which is ilegal, and imoral and by extention sinful. Tell him if he refuses to come based on a religion which prevents him from associating with his parent that he is doing the typical thing "Christians" do, and that is twisting their religion to allow them to sin with a clear conscious. This is against the law and immoral. Any religion which is used to battle for child custody is being used for evil. You might also mention that to refuse to see Dad based on HIS MORAL judgement (the 16 y.o.) that the Dad is living in sin, is another form of blackmail, again imoral and ilegal. It is given only to GOD to Judge man for his sins. If you believe in that crap.
                      I am religious! Poster, you could also try to speak to the pastor of the church your son attends, and ask him to speak to the boy, and let him know it is ok to go to a church of thier faith in another city, which is what most do, if they are on vacation during a church day. He can also explain the law thing, I do not think he would want to see the mom get in trouble either. The boy may listen to him. The boy would have to go to court, with the mom, to get things modified, if he/she is not happy with the way it is, but until a judge says different, it is up to the mom to inforce it. Please remember, if the mom makes sure he goes, but he runs once he is out of her sight, it is not her fault, she is not making him run away. She may still get in trouble, but come on, I would hate to see her get in trouble, if she is in fact making him go.
                      Last edited by turbowray; 04-15-2007, 08:02 PM.

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                      • #12
                        I forced my youngest daughter to see her father for many years (and by forced I mean she went kicking and screaming most times). I asked her why she didn't want to go with him (making sure there wasn't abuse, etc.) she simply told me that she felt neglected and didn't understand why she didn't have a choice. Of course, I explained that it was court ordered, etc. but when we (her father and I) finally discussed it, we opted to give her choices as to when she would like to go. For example, if he had to work a lot on any given weekend, then we would trade weekends or if she wanted to do something with our family, we traded. Simply put, when we gave her a voice and a choice, she began to want to spend more time over there and it was no longer a struggle to get her to go over there. She now has a much better relationship with him because of it. Hope that helps.

                        Comment

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