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Need help getting started for custody!!! Missouri

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  • #16
    I went through all the same crap. They're in KC, KS - except that I don't believe there is really a threat of him trying to take her it is a possibility. Cops will not do anything because it is civil. I no longer try to be the good guy. I'm her mother- I have raised her alone - he deserves no credit for anything - therefore -Everything is now on my terms. They (him, his family) rarely even call her - don't even send birthday cards. They only want to see her if I will do this or that. Sorry no longer happening. In my opinion she's better off with the family that's always there for her (mine) not one that's out of convenience for them. He has a child support order also but rarely pays it. Everytime he misses 3 payment in a row the court puts him in contempt. He has to be behind 3 payments before they will do this. At that point he pays every month till the contempt charge is dropped (generally 6 months). If he doesn't pay it they will eventually put him in jail - especially if you stay on support enforcement's butt. A friend of mine didnt' get any support for almost 13 years - she gets it now - either that or her donor goes to jail. Amazingly enough he has been paying - 15 years worth of back support. One more thing - IF YOU WERE NEVER MARRIED HE HAS NO RIGHTS!!!! HE MUST PETITION THE COURT FOR THEM. 9/ times out of ten they won't because they could care less they just want to torment you. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CHILD SUPPORT. Is his name on birth certificate?

    Originally posted by youngmommo
    At the end of May this year my son's sperm doner and his grandmother tried to kidnap my son. I had been going through a really hard week and had to stay with them for the night. The next day I had told his grandmother that me and my son was going back home and that I had a job waiting for me. She neglected to tell my son's sperm doner that we were leaving and when my mother showed up he was furious! He grabbed my son and refused to hand him back. I have taken care of all my son's needs in every way possible. He is ordered to pay me child support but doesn't and has seen his son maybe 10 times in a year, most of which is because I brought my son up there so he and his family could see him. I don't want any fights or anything over my son. I was trying to be the good guy. Well anyway I ended up having to call the cops to get him back and they told me it was a civil matter and that they couldn't do crap about it.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by overtimedout
      I went through all the same crap. They're in KC, KS - except that I don't believe there is really a threat of him trying to take her it is a possibility. Cops will not do anything because it is civil. I no longer try to be the good guy. I'm her mother- I have raised her alone - he deserves no credit for anything - therefore -Everything is now on my terms. They (him, his family) rarely even call her - don't even send birthday cards. They only want to see her if I will do this or that. Sorry no longer happening. In my opinion she's better off with the family that's always there for her (mine) not one that's out of convenience for them. He has a child support order also but rarely pays it. Everytime he misses 3 payment in a row the court puts him in contempt. He has to be behind 3 payments before they will do this. At that point he pays every month till the contempt charge is dropped (generally 6 months). If he doesn't pay it they will eventually put him in jail - especially if you stay on support enforcement's butt. A friend of mine didnt' get any support for almost 13 years - she gets it now - either that or her donor goes to jail. Amazingly enough he has been paying - 15 years worth of back support. One more thing - IF YOU WERE NEVER MARRIED HE HAS NO RIGHTS!!!! HE MUST PETITION THE COURT FOR THEM. 9/ times out of ten they won't because they could care less they just want to torment you. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CHILD SUPPORT. Is his name on birth certificate?
      We had to get a dna test to prove he was the father. HE knew he was but was hoping he wasn't,hoped I had cheated on him. When dna is established they automatically add the fathers name to the birth certificate. We were never married thank God but yes his name is on the birth certificate. I live at the Lake of the Ozarks and the courts down here don't give a **** about anything as long as theyre making their money. I tried to get a restraining order on him back in June and they denied it. When the judge came out he said "Everyone remain seated and don't say a word!" Well when the judge called me and my ex he called him up to him and dropped the restraining order. I couldn't even hear anything that was being said. He's been ordered to pay child support since Nov. of last year and I know of only one time he has paid child support. You wouldn't happen to know how long it takes before the judge would take his rights for abandonment do you? He hasn't asked,called,or tried to see my son since the end of May. I just want him out of our lives. He's 20 now and with a 16 year old. Cares more about her than his kid. And his grandmother was involved with the kidnapping and she sent a b-day card with a note in it for me telling me oh how sorry she is and that it would never happen again.Ya right.

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      • #18
        Major Question

        Originally posted by overtimedout
        I'm in the same boat in Springfield. The courts say he has no rights until he petitions the courts for them. However, Local law enforcement states that all he has to do is present a birth certificate and my daughter has got to be released to him. This does not apply if she is with me -- only if she is out with someone else i.e. grandma, grandpa, aunt, niece, etc. My daughter is 4 and hasn't even seen him since she was about 18 months old.
        My son is with my mother for safe keeping. If my ex was to go out there with the cops with a copy of my son's birth certificate would she have to release him to him?!?!?!?! DEAR GOD PLEASE TELL ME NO!

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        • #19
          I would love to have this information showing one doesn't have to let one have if they have never been married and their not the bio parent. Thanks, Im a grandparent taking care of infant while both parents are in college some 120 miles away. My e-mail is [email protected] Tks Leo
          Originally posted by ceara View Post
          I don't know where either of you heard this from, but you have been COMPLETELY misinformed.

          If you are the mother of a child AND you were NOT married to the father AND there are NO court orders in place, the father CANNOT take the child anywhere, at anytime without YOUR permission! If they do or even just attempt to, call 911 and report this KIDNAPPING (or attempted kidnapping).

          I would LOVE to know who is tell you both this crap, because it is complete and total BS. I'm betting the person either doesn't know the CORRECT law themselves or they figure since you are young, you will just believe them. Whatever the case may be, if you want (or need) actual documentation to prove to the people that are lying to you that they are WRONG, just let me know what state you're in and I'll be more then happy to send you the proper links to your states applicable laws.
          Last edited by Lindee; 04-25-2007, 05:13 PM.

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