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Need help getting started for custody!!! Missouri

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  • Need help getting started for custody!!! Missouri

    My son is getting ready to turn 9 months old. I left his father when I was 4 months pregenant. I have been going to where he lives so he can see his son since my son was 2 months old. He doesn't call or come see his son on his own so I have been doing it for him out of the best interest for our son. Last week however when I went up there he and his grandmother tried to keep my son when my mother came to get us. The cops had to be involved. I am the custodial parent. I am now trying to take him to court to get full custody over our son. He has been ordered to pay $133 a month in child support in which he does not pay. He is being paid cash by his 16 year old girlfriends step father. He is 19 by the way. I am just so confused as to how to even really go about this process. Can somebody just help me out? I am not a wealthy woman but I try to do my best for my son. The father has been known to stalk me and has made several threats towards me, my son, and my family. I am getting ready to get a restraining order against him and his grandmother but as for the court stuff and how to go about it is what is so confusing. PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! Thank you so much.

  • #2
    getting started

    I am not familar with the Missouri Family Laws.I live in Texas.Were you ever married to the dad?Have ya'll gone to court as far as custody and vistations?
    You should have a specific meeting place like Mcdonalds for the visits not at the dads house where confrontations usually start.I've been there.
    if he has court ordered child support to pay and is not paying you can go to the courts and ask for the Friend of the Courts attorney usually every family court has one and you can file on him for nonpayment of child support.But he will go to jail or they will put him on a work furlough(work in the day and go to jail at night and weekends)my exhusband is doing that now.
    As far as total full custody he would have to give up his rights but since he is to pay support courts only see the best interest is the child and they would rather you 2 kiss and makeup than to take his rights away.Good luck

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you so much for the response! No there has been no court ordered visitation or anything I just did the visitation for my son. I am not familiar with Missouri laws either and I am just trying to get help. I again thank you so much. Much love to all.

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      • #4
        Also, sorry forgot to answer another question...no we were never married(thank god)!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by youngmommo
          Also, sorry forgot to answer another question...no we were never married(thank god)!
          Right now, since there are no orders in place YOU have full custody. He would need to ask for visitation through the court. His MOTHER has no legal basis to ask for visitation at this time. How old were you when you got pregnant?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ceara
            Right now, since there are no orders in place YOU have full custody. He would need to ask for visitation through the court. His MOTHER has no legal basis to ask for visitation at this time. How old were you when you got pregnant?
            I recently found out that since we have not gone to court yet he CAN just come and grab our son and take off with him whenever he wants and there isnt a thing that I can do about it.

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            • #7
              need help

              Sorry to hear.But its true and I hate it when everybody says "you chose him to be the father so your stuck"That makes me sick so I am not going to tell you that.I am wishing you the best of luck and for you to take care of your son.
              He needs to step up to the plate and stop playing with this childs future and take care of what he brought into this world and you do the same.Your son needs both parents. But unfortunately some parents are just too young and immature to realize what it takes to love and nurture a child.
              Selfishness plays apart like you said he has a 16 yr old girlfriend he is only thinking of his needs and she will probably be the next one to be mommy of his 2nd child if she is'nt already pregnant.16 yr olds are vulnerable its terrible.
              Same here in Tx the NCP can get his/her child when ever they want especially if its not gone thru the courts yet.So try to get court visits with supervised visits til certain age unless you trust him.Is he a good or bad father to your son besides the $$ issue just overall.You said he was 19 or 20 yrs old?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by vrp49
                Same here in Tx the NCP can get his/her child when ever they want especially if its not gone thru the courts yet.So try to get court visits with supervised visits til certain age unless you trust him.Is he a good or bad father to your son besides the $$ issue just overall.You said he was 19 or 20 yrs old?
                I recently found out that since we have not gone to court yet he CAN just come and grab our son and take off with him whenever he wants and there isnt a thing that I can do about it.
                I don't know where either of you heard this from, but you have been COMPLETELY misinformed.

                If you are the mother of a child AND you were NOT married to the father AND there are NO court orders in place, the father CANNOT take the child anywhere, at anytime without YOUR permission! If they do or even just attempt to, call 911 and report this KIDNAPPING (or attempted kidnapping).

                I would LOVE to know who is tell you both this crap, because it is complete and total BS. I'm betting the person either doesn't know the CORRECT law themselves or they figure since you are young, you will just believe them. Whatever the case may be, if you want (or need) actual documentation to prove to the people that are lying to you that they are WRONG, just let me know what state you're in and I'll be more then happy to send you the proper links to your states applicable laws.

                Comment


                • #9
                  need help

                  Ok then why bother with the dad and just move on since you never married.Unless you still have feelings of going back to him.Ceara said he cannot take the child from you its kidnaping.All states and have different views and it totally up to the Judges in the courts to decide what they think is best interst to the child.
                  In my state of Texas sits a woman by the name of Darlie Routier in Prison for the murder of her 2 young sons and she has visits from her little boy that survived the attack an infant at the time..Her rights were not taken away.Amazing the way the courts see The BEST INTEREST for the CHILD.
                  I am not trying to step on toes here.Just look up the Family laws in your state of Missouri and the county you live in because they do differ.Good Luck

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by vrp49
                    Ok then why bother with the dad and just move on since you never married.Unless you still have feelings of going back to him.Ceara said he cannot take the child from you its kidnaping.All states and have different views and it totally up to the Judges in the courts to decide what they think is best interst to the child.
                    In my state of Texas sits a woman by the name of Darlie Routier in Prison for the murder of her 2 young sons and she has visits from her little boy that survived the attack an infant at the time..Her rights were not taken away.Amazing the way the courts see The BEST INTEREST for the CHILD.
                    I am not trying to step on toes here.Just look up the Family laws in your state of Missouri and the county you live in because they do differ.Good Luck
                    The case of Darlie Routier has what to do with paternal rights? Essentially, you are right. As long as the father does not go file in court for his rights, the mother can go wherever she wants, with no input from him. Ceara IS correct. A man does not have any right to a child that was not born in the confines of a marriage and there is no court order in place.
                    Last edited by mommyof4; 06-27-2006, 12:16 PM.
                    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                    (unique up on him)
                    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                    (same way)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by vrp49
                      Ok then why bother with the dad and just move on since you never married.Unless you still have feelings of going back to him.Ceara said he cannot take the child from you its kidnaping.All states and have different views and it totally up to the Judges in the courts to decide what they think is best interst to the child.
                      In my state of Texas sits a woman by the name of Darlie Routier in Prison for the murder of her 2 young sons and she has visits from her little boy that survived the attack an infant at the time..Her rights were not taken away.Amazing the way the courts see The BEST INTEREST for the CHILD.
                      I am not trying to step on toes here.Just look up the Family laws in your state of Missouri and the county you live in because they do differ.Good Luck
                      Actually her rights WERE taken away. The reason that she is allowed to see the youngest child is because the FATHER, who still has HIS parental rights, brings the child to visit her.

                      NO state claims that it is in the best interest of the child for a person that has no LEGAL parental rights to be allowed to take the child.

                      At this point she could TRY to move. I say TRY because if the father files to establish paternity and asks for a temporary injunction barring her from moving the child from the current location, he will more then likely get it.

                      Moving will NOT prevent the father from establishing paternity and getting visitation. It will only make it harder on everyone involved.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by mommyof4
                        The case of Darlie Routier has what to do with paternal rights? Essentially, you are right. As long as the father does not go file in court for his fights, the mother can go wherever she wants, with no input from him. Ceara IS correct. A man does not have any right to a child that was not born in the confines of a marriage and there is no court order in place.
                        In many states a child born within 300 days of the end of a marriage is also considered a product of the marriage.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ceara
                          I don't know where either of you heard this from, but you have been COMPLETELY misinformed.

                          If you are the mother of a child AND you were NOT married to the father AND there are NO court orders in place, the father CANNOT take the child anywhere, at anytime without YOUR permission! If they do or even just attempt to, call 911 and report this KIDNAPPING (or attempted kidnapping).

                          I would LOVE to know who is tell you both this crap, because it is complete and total BS. I'm betting the person either doesn't know the CORRECT law themselves or they figure since you are young, you will just believe them. Whatever the case may be, if you want (or need) actual documentation to prove to the people that are lying to you that they are WRONG, just let me know what state you're in and I'll be more then happy to send you the proper links to your states applicable laws.
                          My ex DID try to kidnap my son! When I called the police on him to get my son back they told me that there wasn't anything that they could do because it was a cival matter. I talked to the sherrif myself and that sent me into a rage from hell. No I was NEVER married to the *** and I will never go back to him. When I went to file for a restraining order against him and we went to court the judge threw it out....why I do not know. I had hard evidence and everything to prove he had been stalking and harrassing me. Please send me any info on what the laws are and what I can do to make this to where it can't happen again. I have to wait a little while before I can take him to court and never have to deal with him again. My ex doesn't want anything really to do with his son, he just doesn't want to pay child support. He doesn't help in any way. My son is about to turn 10 months old and he still hasn't changed a diaper or dealt with him being up late or nothing. I'm just so darned frustrated. Thanks everyone for letting me vent and with all the help and advice.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'm in the same boat in Springfield. The courts say he has no rights until he petitions the courts for them. However, Local law enforcement states that all he has to do is present a birth certificate and my daughter has got to be released to him. This does not apply if she is with me -- only if she is out with someone else i.e. grandma, grandpa, aunt, niece, etc. My daughter is 4 and hasn't even seen him since she was about 18 months old.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I didn't know that

                              At the end of May this year my son's sperm doner and his grandmother tried to kidnap my son. I had been going through a really hard week and had to stay with them for the night. The next day I had told his grandmother that me and my son was going back home and that I had a job waiting for me. She neglected to tell my son's sperm doner that we were leaving and when my mother showed up he was furious! He grabbed my son and refused to hand him back. I have taken care of all my son's needs in every way possible. He is ordered to pay me child support but doesn't and has seen his son maybe 10 times in a year, most of which is because I brought my son up there so he and his family could see him. I don't want any fights or anything over my son. I was trying to be the good guy. Well anyway I ended up having to call the cops to get him back and they told me it was a civil matter and that they couldn't do crap about it.

                              Comment

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