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Michigan daughter being abused

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  • Michigan daughter being abused

    I am a 39 year old mother that needs help quick I am afraid for my daughter. She refuses to leave a boyfriend that beats her. I have tried to reason with them both. I even went as far as beating him so that he would know how it feels. Christmas eve she came alone and spent the night. As she was showering iI snuck in the bathroom, what I saw horrified me she has been beaten with a belt her whole left side is blck and blue. She is only 18 he is 33. She says that she is trying to get pregnant what can I do short of killing the *******.

  • #2
    call the police

    She needs to get out, but it is ultimatly her desision. You can not make her. Be there for her. It is easy to leave when you don't have kids, but after it becomes more complicated. My ex-husband beat the crap out of me when I was pregnant it becanme worse. I wish I could tell her she deserves better and to get out. If it happens in front of you or she calls you when its happening call the police. I wish I had documents of my beatings. Even if she doesn't call the police ask her to please take pictures so she has them if she ever decides to leave. Give her things to read. She is so young and there are so many men out there. She is just blind right now because she is in love and probably really afraid. I wish I would have listened to my parents and unfortunatly I didn't. I am paying so much to get out of this relationship. I wish you the best of luck! Make sure you don't get mad at her and just always remind her you are there for her. If he is that bad he could kill her. There are shelters out there like the ywca. They are verry helpful. My prayers are with both of you.

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    • #3
      because you beat the boyfriend it may be better for you to not call the police; call a friend or another family member over to see the abuse and have them call the police to make the report and the police usually have a domestic violence specialist to talk with victims

      Your daughter has to leave this and with her being 18 there are limits as to what you can do. The link at this site has a hotline number with counselors and referalls to resources: http://www.ndvh.org

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      • #4
        the police don't do anything .

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        • #5
          Meetings

          I Have Thought Of A Way To Help Her. Find Out What Time Group Meetings Are Around Your Area For Battered Women And Take Her To Some. They Are Not For Survivors Only They Are Also For People Still In That Kind Of Relationship. It May Give Her Strength To Leave And Be Aware Of What Is Happening.

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          • #6
            Just do it

            Just ask why she wants to get pregant... being a mother is really hard.
            If you want to get pregant go get a boyfriend that is 1 year older than her.
            or she can go to the hospital to get shots...... and she can adopt 1.
            Report that 33 year old man to the police.
            And done

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            • #7
              How my mom convince me to leave

              Hi

              Just wanted to let you know to hang in there. When I was in an abusive relationship over 11year ago. My mother was the main reason why I finally left for good. She wrote me a letter pouring out her heart, begging me to leave. Explaining how she couldn't bare going to my funeral. This letter was very powerful and gave me the strenght that I needed to leave. I hope this helps.

              God Bless,

              KittyJack

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              • #8
                EVERY time you see your daughter with signs of abuse, call the police and file a report. Without her cooperation, it would be very difficult for them to arrest him, but they will question him each time. Make sure you keep in touch with the police and procecuter in the case. Explain that you know about the abuse and are trying to get her to wake up to the fact he is an abuser. Sometimes the police will be reluctent because she is not forth coming with the detail, but be persistent. They may not want to take the report, especially after they have already been called on other occasions, but remind them that it is their job, they HAVE to.

                Hopefully you live in an area with a sympathetic procecutor. See is they are willing to try and help when they bring her into be questioned. I've seen some domestic relations ADA's show the abused not only the statistics of abuse, but the result of abuse in other cases. Maybe if your daughter was shown an abuse case where the abuse got worse and worse each time and finally only ended when the abused was murdered she might wake up. Looking at photos of other women that have been abused is bad enough, but it would be very hard for her to stay in denial after seeing autopsy photos of women who have killed by someone that "loved them" is very hard to ignore. Some larger areas also arrange for those being abused to actually visit the morgue when a victim of domestic violence has been brought in.

                Even if it doesn't push her enough to leave him, it may be enough to make her reconsider trying to get pregnant right now.

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                • #9
                  Okay, lets say she does report this jerk to the police and they don't do anything. Then he is going to go home and beat the living crap out of her daughter, its sad but only the daughter can really get herself out of this situation... a very sad situation in deed.

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                  • #10
                    He's going home and beating the crap out of her daughter already. Domestic violence only escalates over time. How do you think this mom will feel if she stands by and does nothing and he ends up seriously injuring her daughter, or worse? Personally, I would kill the SOB myself, but I would never advise another person to do something that could potentially be considered a crime.

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                    • #11
                      Hey, I agree. If someone ever lays a hand on my daughter, they will find themself 6 feet below the ground but thats not something go suggesting because honestly, I have no idea how I would react if I saw marks on my daughter's body. I personally have just seen cases where someone does try to intervene and help without the victim's permission and instead, the abuser just beats the living crap out of the person. I do understand that he is beating her up anyway but me personally I wouldn't want to intervene unless I knew there were going to be consequences for him THEN because my worry is that it will push him over the edge. This guy is not excluded from the category of a potential murderer.

                      Cases like this just make me CRINGE all over.

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                      • #12
                        There is more potential for him to become a murderer if the abuse is allowed to continue unchecked.

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                        • #13
                          You know, you are right I never thought of it like that. I really hope her daughter finds the strength to leave him and/or press charges.

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                          • #14
                            alone

                            You should look into the law in your state. In some states they will press charges without her. If this is the case in your state talk to neighbors. Ask them to call the police if they hear or see anything.

                            Comment

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