Lost and Confussed Michigan

[mommyof2boys]

I am not really sure where to start with this so I might ramble. I have two little boys there 3 and 5 years old. I left there father whom I was never married to when I was 5 months prego with my now 3 year old. There is a friend of court order he does pay child but he does not see them, talk to them nothing. This has been consistent since Christmas eve of last year (2008). Here we are a few days away from Christmas eve and it will be a full year of no contact.... What I am wondering is does he fall into a category of legally abandoned these boys? If not why?

I want to have his rights terminated, not that he really has any, there is no established parenting time order and I have sole physical legal custody....

I am in a serious relationship, and marriage is coming. he is a military man, therefore I will be moving out of the state of michigan. I want my sons biological fathers rights terminated, but dont know how or if I could.

Any one know anything about this stuff??

[Alice Dodd]

The courts won't terminate a "father's" rights unless there is someone else willing to step in and adopt, AND the father agrees, unless there is abuse involved. And it's not "father's" rights. Your children have a right to have their father support them. The court doesn't take that lightly, and you are doing your children a disservice by taking that away from them. AND the father may grow up some day and decide to take more of an interest in the kids, which is in their best interest.

[mommyof2boys]

Might??

there father might go up one day?? well hes 28 years old, I think that he is grown up. He now has 4 children total with 3 different women, i have his middle 2.... i dont think that it is in the best interest of MY children to be emotionally screwed up by there father because he would come in and out of there life, they need and deserve structure. he has not seen then in 1 full year consistently. prior to that he seen then maybe once every 2 or 4 months. He does not want to pay child support, the courts force him to do that by taken it out of his checks if he had a choice he would not..... he has 2 warrants out for his arrest right now because of a domestic case between me and him on Christmas eve last year. we went to court he lost like he should have after beating my *** in front of my kids. he violate his probation because he did not pay his fines in time and now hes in more trouble with it all.. . .. He has threatened me that he will sign off on the kids. i don't think he understands that you cant just walk into a court house and say that i don't want my kids no more.

but i am going to get married and my fiance is more of a father to these boys. i just wonder if the court will go threw with him adopting my boys. i read somewhere we have to be married for at least 1 year before that can happen.. the biological father dont want them

[Alice Dodd]

But you CHOSE him to be the father of your children.
That's something you have to live with. And the courts will NEVER sever his rights and responsibilities (the 2 go together) unless someone is stepping up to adopt them legally. And the dad could object. Sorry, but you made the choice to have children with him, and he IS the bio father. You might just have to deal with it. And they are not YOUR children, they are the product of BOTH of you.

[xena]

I am not really sure where to start with this so I might ramble. I have two little boys there 3 and 5 years old. I left there father whom I was never married to when I was 5 months prego with my now 3 year old. There is a friend of court order he does pay child but he does not see them, talk to them nothing. This has been consistent since Christmas eve of last year (2008). Here we are a few days away from Christmas eve and it will be a full year of no contact.... What I am wondering is does he fall into a category of legally abandoned these boys? If not why?

I want to have his rights terminated, not that he really has any, there is no established parenting time order and I have sole physical legal custody....

I am in a serious relationship, and marriage is coming. he is a military man, therefore I will be moving out of the state of michigan. I want my sons biological fathers rights terminated, but dont know how or if I could.

Any one know anything about this stuff??

Since he is paying CS you will not be able to use abandonment as a reason for an involuntary TPR.

Actually, even if he were to agree to terminate his rights, the court typically will not do so unless there is a step-parent who wants to adopt.

If you want to move you will need to notify the court and your ex. If for some reason your ex were to contest the move you'd have to go to court to get the court's permission to move. Which in your situation probably wouldn't be too difficult because he hasn't exercised his rights to visitation.

[xena]

there father might go up one day?? well hes 28 years old, I think that he is grown up. He now has 4 children total with 3 different women, i have his middle 2.... i dont think that it is in the best interest of MY children to be emotionally screwed up by there father because he would come in and out of there life, they need and deserve structure. he has not seen then in 1 full year consistently. prior to that he seen then maybe once every 2 or 4 months. He does not want to pay child support, the courts force him to do that by taken it out of his checks if he had a choice he would not..... he has 2 warrants out for his arrest right now because of a domestic case between me and him on Christmas eve last year. we went to court he lost like he should have after beating my *** in front of my kids. he violate his probation because he did not pay his fines in time and now hes in more trouble with it all.. . .. He has threatened me that he will sign off on the kids. i don't think he understands that you cant just walk into a court house and say that i don't want my kids no more.

but i am going to get married and my fiance is more of a father to these boys. i just wonder if the court will go threw with him adopting my boys. i read somewhere we have to be married for at least 1 year before that can happen.. the biological father dont want them

After you have been married at least 1 year you should get a consult with an adoption attorney to see what steps you'll need to take to get a TPR and adoption started.