question

[gander627]

Can someone tell me what is the age of consent in Michigan ? My daughter who is causing enormous problems in many areas within our family, is dating a 19 year old man. She is 16. She turns 17 on Feb 15th. A teen counselor she has talked to during her required summer arts program (she is on probation - I told you she is a load of trouble)....quite snottily tells my husband and I that the legal age of consent in Michigan is 16. So is this correct ? She is able to be a "woman" and make the decision to have sex with a man of ANY age ? I told this counselor that 16 may be the age of consent, but it sure doesnt mean that the MINOR is ok to have sex with someone over age 18. and even if it does, we as her PARENTS, do not feel it is a good idea....not to mention she has been sneaking around with this guy since last year when she was 15 and he was 18. My husband and I found a note in her school notebookjust last month, where she is asking her friend if she might be pregnant or could the spotty bleeding she has be due to this guy "popping my *&***" ...nice note for us to find.....

can anyone advise us ? this kid has been under mental health care for 2 1/2 years and has been diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder. She is very immature and my husband and I and our whole family would peg her at about age 13 based on the decisions and choices she makes. Of course we are not letting her drive or even take training.

This teen counselor was actually insinuating that we are emotionally abusing her by NOT allowing her to date this MAN, and actually told us "have you and your husband ever taken any PARENTING classes to parent an adolescent ? " we also have a 5 year old. she then goes on to tell us that an adolescent is defined as age 10 to age 21 good grief....

we are not going to make it until she is 18. there's a lot more she has done to us and our family but that is for other posts.....we are really wondering about the legalities of this boyfriend situation. My husband is adamant he will not agree to her dating someone that age and I stand behind him in this.

[cbg]

Someone is confusing the age of consent with the age of majority. The age of consent (which in Michigan is 16) is the age at which a teenager is considered legally old enough to consent to sex. In other words, the age at which it is no longer statutory rape for someone to have sex with her.

The age of majority, however, is the age at which a teenager is no longer answerable to her parents. THAT AGE IN EVERY STATE IS 18, except for one or two states where it is 19 or even 21. There is NO state where the age of majority is less than 18.

That means that no matter what the counselor says, and no matter what the age of consent is, if you, as her parents, say that your daughter cannot date this man, then she cannot. Period. Additionally, the fact that your daughter is at or over the age of consent does not mean that there are no charges that can be placed against this guy. If you tell him to stay away from your minor daughter and he does not, you can get a restraining order, and if he violates it, he can go to jail.

[gander627]

Thank you CBG. That is exactly what my husband and I thought. My daughter has a boatload of issues but besides that she is insisting that we have this guy in our house and over for dinner. He is not a decent person in our opinion because 1) He has called my husband a pr*ck , yes he actually did that....because my husband called him on the phone and told him to stay away from his 15 year old daughter. 2) He encourages her to sneak out, lie, and be dishonest with us about this whole thing, despite the fact that we told her ...well maybe he should apologize to your father, then actually show up at your house to meet your parents like a decent guy, and then we'll see how it goes (which our hunch was right...he has no intention of behaving like a decent guy and has never shown up).....
3) he bought her nothing for christmas - and he has a job, and she spent her money on him i am sure
4) he is using her for sex - we know this because she has already told us he has cheated on her and then picked her back up again

he is just like some weirdo in the shadows....and obviously very very immature if he is with her and as evidenced by the fact he avoids her family

and yes we RAN her to the doctor to put her on birth control shots as soon as we had any hint she might be having sex....we didnt like to condone it but we know she would be pregnant by now if we didnt

we are counting down 375 days until she is 18.

The sad thing is, this teen center counselor actually is CHIDING us in front of our kid. Our daughter got her first job in August 2008 and had earned $1200.00 as of the end of Nov 2008. She had exactly 25.00 left of it in the bank. We have told her for over 1 year that she needs to save for her own vehicle and insurance and we will try to help her. We are financially strapped. So, when we saw her blowing through this money, we decided we needed to stop this and make her save. This teen counselor also had the nerve to tell us that my husband cannot pick her paycheck up at her work and deposit it into her bank account ...that doing so is ILLEGAL....I told her according to the Michigan statue I read on the state website, all earnings of a minor are the property of the parents until the minor turns 18 if the parents so choose. We are NOT spending her money. We deposit it and give our kid the bank receipt (of course she isnt telling this to the counselor) the reason she is complaining to this counselor is because with her money in the bank, and the account set that she cannot withdraw any money without one of our signatures....well, then our darling girl cannot buy her CIGARETTES !

These teen counselors and her probation officer (a woman) are completely wrapped around her finger and they actually talk to us like we are the scum of the earth because we are trying to get this kid to be able to be a responsible adult. The probation officer actually doesnt return our calls when we need to report she is not coming home on time or continues to SMOKE right on our property, etc and calls our daughter FIRST and "mentors" her ......we are really getting sick of this baloney. This kid also stole $40.00 out of her grandmother's wallet in our house....admits it....we tell the probation officer and the judge and they tell her "dont do it again" and "do some extra chores around the house" ...and the judge chides my husband in front of the courtroom...."sir you are driving your daughter away from you with all these strict rules "