HELP! Child support/custody Michigan

[lirpa099]

ok this may be a little long. i will try to shorten the story. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he has a 2 1/2 yr old little boy from a previous relationship. We got together just after they broke up and then he found out she was pregnant. He went to doctors appoinments and went to the hospital when he was born. He did not sign the BC and the child does not have his last name. (THey only knew each other for a little over a month.) He told her he wanted a paturnity test to be sure. She was mad and it took 6 months for the test. Finally he found out the child was his and now he has arrears. They went to court and have court ordered CS but they did not do visitation or anything else. Now the child is 2 and a 1/2 and it has been hell. She can't keep a job has moved 3 times and never has money. my boyfriend pays his child support every month. she will call him and say that the child needs things and if he doesn't get it to her then she will not let him take the child. My boyfriend and i take the child every other weekend. My boyfriend and i get into it sometimes because he feels that he should just have the mothers boyfriend adopt the child and be done with it. that way he doesn't have to deal with her. i told him that is stupid and not fair to the child. i think that he should fight for custody and have her pay child support. My question is how hard is it for the father to get custody of a child in michigan and how would he go about doing it. i think it is better for the child any way. we have gone there at times and there has been no food at all and she calls at least once a week for money for something. PLease someone help me. i do not want my boyfriend to lose his son. he does love him and in his eyes haveing the mother's BF adopt is the best way to go.

THank you,
Sorry for this being so long.

[ceara]

What YOU think he should do doesn't matter. It is irrelevant anyway. Mom's BF CAN'T adopt the child. The odds of him getting custody when he hasn't even bothered to ask the court for visitation at any time during the last 2 1/2 years are slim to none.

He needs to start by petitioning the court for visitation. There is virtually a 100% chance that he will get visitation. Changing jobs, moving and being poor do not make a person an unfit parent. Your BF would pretty much have to prove mom is unfit before he would have any chance to gain custody of the child.

[mom26]

first off why dosen't he go to court and file for visitation? If he pays his support he has evey right to have visitation. If he has been in this childs life from day one why stop now? that would be stupid. I could understand if he never was in the child s life things might be a little different. And moms boyfriend can not adopt unless they aremarried for at least one year. Tell your boyfriend to go to court and file for visititation asap..

[lirpa099]

I have tried to get him to request visitation through the courts. He just thinks that it will make things harder for him. He see's his son often but on her terms. I know he wants to do everything through the courts but she is the one that makes his life miserable when he does any thing that she does not want or like. i guess it is his choice and i need to let him make the decisions but it hurts to see the child go through this crap. thanks for the advice.

[ceara]

I have tried to get him to request visitation through the courts. He just thinks that it will make things harder for him. He see's his son often but on her terms. I know he wants to do everything through the courts but she is the one that makes his life miserable when he does any thing that she does not want or like. i guess it is his choice and i need to let him make the decisions but it hurts to see the child go through this crap. thanks for the advice.

If he goes through the court and establishes LEGAL rights to the child, it doesn't make a bit of difference what MOM wants. If she doesn't follow the court order just because she doesn't LIKE it, she could end up being at dad's mercy when it comes to getting visitation with the child.

[thirdpartycustody]

reply

First of all you need to keep a diary of every little thing you do for the child and every little thing you find wrong when you have any kind of contact with the child. Second if he is not behind on any of his child support payments that is a very good thing you have a chance of getting the child. Third if you go to the mothers house to pick up the child and their is no food in the house or the house is unfit to live in or anything in a matter of neglect call child protective services and start an investigation on the mother when the investigation is started go in and fight for custody at that time. You will win I am almost postive