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Once again Michigan

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  • Once again Michigan

    well i just havetovent i have explained in earlierpost my fiance was letting his 3 year old son's mom's new husband adopt(He's been a part of childs life sience he was about 2/3 months old. Anyhow we still get visitation here and there and we we reluctend to send a birthday card out of consideration. Well thispast week I went and bought the child 2 outfits socks underwear nd some treats and sent the package and recieved no thank you nonothing that just frustrates me we try to be helpfull and no thank yous!!!!!! thanks for listening

  • #2
    Just continue to be nice and do what you feel is the right thing to do and don't expect a thankyou...just know it is appreciated.

    Some people just hold on to bitterness and anger.

    I know that when i send off things to my stepson, the CP would take the reciept and clothing back to the department store and get the money back just out of spite and she told my husband that she did it because she didn't want her child wearing anything i picked immature!

    She never tells hubby thankyou...but she will call when she want something extra outside of the monthly child support payments.
    Don't Worry Be Happy!


    • #3
      another thing that upsets me is I asked to have my fiance's son tonight for a few hours and she refuses to call us back!!!!!(MAD) We try so hard!!!!! My fiance's 1st son will be 3 Sunday me and my fiance have a son together he will be 2 in July I feel they should be able to know each other!!!!! Should I just stop trying or just keep trying to push the issue? The adoption will be final by 2006 school year and I have a feeling she will stop all contact.... They are trying to have another child together and she states they have been busy..... I just want the best for my son's!!!!!!!!!! Any advice would be great thanks!!!!!


      • #4
        My personal feeling is that you and your husband should let go. When the adoption is final, the mother will have every right to cut off all contact. Not only will it be harder on you and your husband, but it will be very difficult on the child to continue to build a relationship, only to have it abruptly ended. If your husband felt it was best to let the child be adopted, then he needs to accept it and move on.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)


        • #5
          thanks I just thought mom would continue contact, but I see she does not want that.


          • #6
            Originally posted by mom26
            thanks I just thought mom would continue contact, but I see she does not want that.
            Be honest with yourself.. why should she? Often times (not saying this is the case here) but a parent will allow a step-parent to adopt and expect contact when in reality that gets the bio parent out of the obligations but get to keep the perks.

            My ex never saw my kids, they were adopted in 2004 by their step-father. If my ex were to show up at my door expecting to see them or want them to visit for weekends or whatever I'd likely chase him away with a baseball bat. Part of being a parent is financial obligation and although legally one cannot stop visitation when support isn't paid or stop paying support when visitation is not adhered to once an adoption goes through there are no stipulations.

            The advice to let it go was good. Either your boyfriend wants to be a part of his child's life or he doesn't. If he doesn't he allows the adoption to go through and let it go and you need to do the same and not expect your child to have a relationship with this other child. If your boyfriend DOES want to be a part of his child's life then he shouldn't let the adoption go through, get visitation, have it enforced and stay up on support.


            • #7
              I understand everybody's point (So TRUE) But mom is the one that made the statement to allow us to have contact after the process. So yes as of today we have cut all ties with contact. It would be the best thing thank you everyone for all you help.


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