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  • petty question

    If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days would
    you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying the
    guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or would
    you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel bad
    that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to have
    it nice for them? Or not?

    Amy



  • #2
    petty question

    On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:10:07 GMT, Amy Lou
    <[email protected]> wrote:
    If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days would you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying the guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or would you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel bad that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to have it nice for them? Or not?
    Hire a maid to do the guest room.

    -Tony

    --
    "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
    to fertilize your lawn!"
    Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
    Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

    Comment


    • #3
      petty question

      On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:10:07 GMT, "Amy Lou" <[email protected]>
      wrote:
      If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days wouldyou feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying theguest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or wouldyou sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel badthat people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to haveit nice for them? Or not?
      As much as I don't hold to gender conventions, I would honestly make
      the effort if he didn't. Regardless of what I think, society still
      views the upkeep of house to be the woman's domain. And any opinions
      to the negative are going to be reflected on you.

      Vacuum, dust and clean sheets. Do what you would expect to be
      presented as a guest in someone elses house.

      Tara

      Comment


      • #4
        petty question


        "Tony Miller" <[email protected]> wrote in message
        news:[email protected]
        On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:10:07 GMT, Amy Lou <[email protected]> wrote:
        If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days
        would
        you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying
        the
        guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or
        would
        you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel
        bad
        that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to
        have
        it nice for them? Or not? Hire a maid to do the guest room.
        How much do you charge?

        Amy


        Comment


        • #5
          petty question

          In article <[email protected]>, "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote:
          "m" <[email protected]>
          If it's important to your husband to have things tidy for his guests, then
          he
          can clean or ask you if you would. I'm assuming these aren't mutually-agreed-upon guests..?
          The guests are mutually agreed upon. Even though they are his friends I wantto go out of my way (but time is limited and its stressing me out a bit) tomake it warm and welcoming for them. DH thinks I shouldn't bother.Cleanliness is of little importance to him. The couple who are coming tostay (with 2 kids) are of similar standards to us. She would be horrified ifthe place was not clean, he wouldn't give a ****.
          I think if it were me and i agreed to the guests staying, I would make the
          effort to make sure things were relatively clean, whether or not your husband
          cares. You don't have to go all out and sterilize, just vacuum, dust a
          little, make sure a bathroom and tub is clean, just basic stuff.

          You don't need to put out the fancy doilies and fresh-cut flowers unless you
          feel like it. :-)

          Comment


          • #6
            petty question


            "Tara D" <[email protected]> wrote in message
            news:[email protected]
            On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:10:07 GMT, "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote:
            If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days
            would
            you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying
            the
            guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or
            would
            you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel
            bad
            that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to
            have
            it nice for them? Or not? As much as I don't hold to gender conventions, I would honestly make the effort if he didn't. Regardless of what I think, society still views the upkeep of house to be the woman's domain. And any opinions to the negative are going to be reflected on you.
            This is so true! And why I feel compelled to clean even though DH says not
            to bother.
            Vacuum, dust and clean sheets. Do what you would expect to be presented as a guest in someone elses house.
            This is classic resentment stuff, don't you know? I'll clean, DH will be
            cranky, I'll resent the time and effort I put into it. But if I don't clean
            I'll feel terrible. Its a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. I
            can't win either way.

            Amy


            Comment


            • #7
              petty question


              "m" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:Bt85d.34618
              You don't need to put out the fancy doilies and fresh-cut flowers unless
              you
              feel like it. :-)
              I do fresh flowers from the garden and chocolate frogs on the pillows. :-)

              Amy


              Comment


              • #8
                petty question

                In article <[email protected]>, "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote:
                "m" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:Bt85d.34618
                You don't need to put out the fancy doilies and fresh-cut flowers unless
                you
                feel like it. :-)
                I do fresh flowers from the garden and chocolate frogs on the pillows. :-)
                you busy tomorrow morning?
                (just kidding)

                Comment


                • #9
                  petty question

                  On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 06:40:20 GMT, Amy Lou
                  <[email protected]> wrote:
                  "Tony Miller" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                  On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:10:07 GMT, Amy Lou <[email protected]> wrote:
                  If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days
                  would
                  you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying
                  the
                  guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or
                  would
                  you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel
                  bad
                  that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to
                  have
                  it nice for them? Or not? Hire a maid to do the guest room.
                  How much do you charge?
                  Nothing, because I wouldn't think it needed cleaning.

                  -Tony

                  --
                  "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
                  to fertilize your lawn!"
                  Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
                  Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    petty question

                    On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 06:45:47 GMT, Amy Lou
                    <[email protected]> wrote:
                    "Tara D" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
                    On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:10:07 GMT, "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote:
                    If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days
                    would
                    you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying
                    the
                    guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or
                    would
                    you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel
                    bad
                    that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to
                    have
                    it nice for them? Or not? As much as I don't hold to gender conventions, I would honestly make the effort if he didn't. Regardless of what I think, society still views the upkeep of house to be the woman's domain. And any opinions to the negative are going to be reflected on you.
                    This is so true! And why I feel compelled to clean even though DH says not to bother.
                    Vacuum, dust and clean sheets. Do what you would expect to be presented as a guest in someone elses house.
                    This is classic resentment stuff, don't you know? I'll clean, DH will be cranky, I'll resent the time and effort I put into it. But if I don't clean I'll feel terrible. Its a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. I can't win either way.
                    Of course you can't win, you set this up yourself by not just doing it
                    without telling him, and getting him involved in it. Excuse me for saying
                    so, but think you've probably put more time into talking about it on
                    usenet than you would have by just doing it.

                    -Tony

                    --
                    "If the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence, it's time
                    to fertilize your lawn!"
                    Want to jump start your marriage? Consider a Marriage Encounter weekend.
                    Check out http://www.wwme.org for more information.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      petty question


                      "Tony Miller"

                      Excuse me for saying
                      so, but think you've probably put more time into talking about it on usenet than you would have by just doing it.
                      Weeeell a girl's gotta have *some* leisure time.

                      Amy


                      Comment


                      • #12
                        petty question

                        On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 08:00:02 GMT, Tony Miller <[email protected]>
                        wrote:
                        Excuse me for sayingso, but think you've probably put more time into talking about it onusenet than you would have by just doing it.
                        LOL, you took the words out of my mouth. How long does it take to
                        vacuum a guest room?

                        Tara

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          petty question


                          "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                          news:[email protected]
                          If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days would you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying
                          the
                          guest room? Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself? Or
                          would
                          you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends". Would you feel
                          bad
                          that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to
                          have
                          it nice for them? Or not?
                          Is being upset about it going to accomplish anything useful?

                          I mean, yes....I would feel bad if people were staying in my house and the
                          placed looked like a dump and no effort were made to straightened up. But if
                          no one were raising a finger to help me, I would not get "upset"--I would
                          say: "partner and children, we are having company and the house is not
                          acceptible. You may chose from the following list of chores."

                          Yeah, sure. Call me a domineering Hausfrau. "We don't need to vacuum for
                          guests" is not an acceptible answer.


                          Comment


                          • #14
                            petty question


                            "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                            news[email protected]
                            How much do you charge?
                            A plane ticket?

                            Jess


                            Comment


                            • #15
                              petty question


                              "Amy Lou" <[email protected]> wrote in message
                              news:[email protected]
                              If your spouse's friends were coming to stay with you for a few days would you feel upset that your spouse was not concerned with vacuuming/tidying the guest room?
                              Er.... I can't imagine him not doing that with me if I asked him to help.
                              Would you just suck it up and vacuum/dust etc yourself?
                              Well, we have to move a child out of his room to free it up but it doesn't
                              actually take that long to dust, vacuum, get more pillows out of the
                              cupboard, change the bedding and make sure there's hanging space and
                              coathangers in the wardrobe. I'd just get my husband to scrub out the shower
                              box and toilet while I was busy fluffing the duvet!
                              Or would you sit back and feel "so what? they are not my friends".
                              Nope, I couldn't possibly do that. It'd feel as odd as going to work in my
                              pyjamas.


                              Would you feel bad
                              that people were staying in your house and you hadn't made an effort to have it nice for them? Or not?
                              I'd be mortified. )

                              Tai



                              Comment

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