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My ex and his gf are trying to take my child! Maryland

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  • My ex and his gf are trying to take my child! Maryland

    I was recently served with papers to go to court, I am being charged with second degree assault on my ex's new girlfriend. I had gone to our house (he lives there with her) to ask him for child support, and she started running her mouth at me,she called me a crazy ***** right in front of my 5 year old daughter, who was there with me!! I tried to come into the house to talk to my ex privately, but she practically closed the door right on me, I went to push the door open, she let go of the door and my hand pushed the door open and hit into her face...now she is saying that I intentionally punched her in the face. Now my ex says he's going to child protective services because I'm "dangerous" and is going to take my daughter! Can he do that?? I did not even intend to hit her, it was accidental and happen because she was refusing me entry to MY house. Can the fact that she got into my business be construded as harrassment??? This is not the first problem I have had with her, she is constantly butting into problems between my ex and i, and he does nothing about it. Five months ago, she came to my mother's home with him to pick my daughter up and ended up screaming at my mother and I because I said I did not want my ex to take our daughter (who was four at the time) camping. She also pushes him to keep my daughter overnight, when I have specifically told him that she is too young and does not want to be away from me overnight! I just don't know what to do about this. I don't want to lose my daughter because of an accident and fraudulant allegations she is making towards me saying I stalk them and assaulted her.

  • #2
    Cps

    CPS doesn't just take a child away without visible gross neglect. They will investigate this themselves and see that she is properly cared for. They may also investigate your Ex and his setup while your daughter is there.

    Do your custody papers say anything about overnight guests or things such as not creating a poor environment by yelling/screaming or talking bad about the other parent? Some of them say quite a bit.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by demartian View Post
      CPS doesn't just take a child away without visible gross neglect. They will investigate this themselves and see that she is properly cared for. They may also investigate your Ex and his setup while your daughter is there.

      Do your custody papers say anything about overnight guests or things such as not creating a poor environment by yelling/screaming or talking bad about the other parent? Some of them say quite a bit.
      We haven't come to a custody agreement yet, we have a court date at the end of this month. I allowed our daughter to stay overnight with him once because he wouldn't stop asking. This was about 2 months ago, he said she was fine, but when I asked her how it went and if she missed me she said that she woke up scared and wanted me but he just put her back to bed. So I've told him numerous times she is too young, but he is still pushing for this because his girlfriend is trying to play mommy or something!
      As far as talking bad, I know he doesn't, but I can't say if she does or not, she is crazy, really, so I wouldn't doubt it!! I don't want her around my daughter, she is constantly second guessing MY decisions which she has no right to do, and after having her yell at me like that with my little girl around I don't think she should be able to see her at all. I tried to bring this up in a meeting with our lawyers, but my ex says that I'm the one with the problem because I don't want my daughter staying over night and because I told her that just because daddy likes his gf doesn't mean she has to. I really think she is scared of her like I am, I just think she won't admit it for fear of hurting her father.

      I'm just really scared that he is somehow going to get her taken away from me and that crazy gf of his is going to be poisoning my daughter with lies about me

      Comment


      • #4
        Lawyer

        Make sure you get the custody issues worked out quickly and if you do not want her staying overnight with dad's girlfriend (it's different if she is a wife), then state no overnight guests (that would go for you as well).

        Comment


        • #5
          Can I do that even if she lives with him??

          Comment


          • #6
            It depends

            You can at least try, I have seen it done before. If the girlfriend is that important to him, then he would have to marry her to fix that issue. At least your little girl won't see unmarried people sleeping together which is where that issue comes in on a lot of custody agreements.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by dawn725 View Post
              We haven't come to a custody agreement yet, we have a court date at the end of this month. I allowed our daughter to stay overnight with him once because he wouldn't stop asking. This was about 2 months ago, he said she was fine, but when I asked her how it went and if she missed me she said that she woke up scared and wanted me but he just put her back to bed. So I've told him numerous times she is too young, but he is still pushing for this because his girlfriend is trying to play mommy or something!
              As far as talking bad, I know he doesn't, but I can't say if she does or not, she is crazy, really, so I wouldn't doubt it!! I don't want her around my daughter, she is constantly second guessing MY decisions which she has no right to do, and after having her yell at me like that with my little girl around I don't think she should be able to see her at all. I tried to bring this up in a meeting with our lawyers, but my ex says that I'm the one with the problem because I don't want my daughter staying over night and because I told her that just because daddy likes his gf doesn't mean she has to. I really think she is scared of her like I am, I just think she won't admit it for fear of hurting her father.

              I'm just really scared that he is somehow going to get her taken away from me and that crazy gf of his is going to be poisoning my daughter with lies about me
              Okay, I am going to address this part of your post.


              DO NOT grill your daughter. Your simple question should be, "hey, how are you? Did you have fun?" Do NOT say things like, "did you miss me?" "I was so sad without you", etc.

              She is NOT too young to stay with her FATHER. I am assuming that she stayed with him when you were living together, right??? Just because daddy got a new honey does NOT mean that suddenly he is incapable of caring for his child. You need to get used to the idea that she is going to be staying with her father. If you don't like the GF spending the night when your daughter is there, it is reasonable to ask the court to include a clause that bans any unrelated, overnight guests of the opposite sex. Keep in mind that YOU will also be subject to that clause.

              I gotta' ask, because I couldn't tell from your post, but DID you say that to your daughter? If so, you are giving an excellent example of what he is saying about you. This is about the best thing for your daughter. It is not about two women fighting over the same man. If you did say that, how is that showing a shining example of motherhood if you are teaching your daughter to dislike somebody just because you tell her to?

              You put yourself in a difficult position when you left after accidentally hitting her. The police only had her side of the story. With everything else going on, it would be easy to make them believe what she said is what really happened. You need to show up and be honest and CALM. CPS is not going to take your daughter away from you, but you do need to come to terms with the fact that the court is NOT going to keep your daughter away from her father and those visits will include overnights.
              Last edited by mommyof4; 10-10-2006, 06:55 AM.
              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
              (unique up on him)
              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
              (same way)

              Comment


              • #8
                I didn't tell her NOT to like her, but when I asked her what she thought about her she seemed to be acting strange, so I just told her that it's ok to feel differently towards her than he dad does, and just because he loves her doesn't mean she has to. Which I really don't think there is anything wrong with, this woman tries to act like she is the mother and I'm not!! Also, I left the house because my ex practically pushed me out the door! I was so upset I couldn't stay to wait for the police, so I went to my parents house down the street and they went to talk to the officer, but he refused to speak to them about it because they didn't witness it. So he came and spoke to me afterwards, and apparently because my hand DID hit her face that is second degree assault??? It was an accident, but we have a history of not getting along so I don't know how this is going to work out. And my ex won't even speak to me about the situation!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by dawn725 View Post
                  I didn't tell her NOT to like her, but when I asked her what she thought about her she seemed to be acting strange, so I just told her that it's ok to feel differently towards her than he dad does, and just because he loves her doesn't mean she has to. Which I really don't think there is anything wrong with, this woman tries to act like she is the mother and I'm not!! Also, I left the house because my ex practically pushed me out the door! I was so upset I couldn't stay to wait for the police, so I went to my parents house down the street and they went to talk to the officer, but he refused to speak to them about it because they didn't witness it. So he came and spoke to me afterwards, and apparently because my hand DID hit her face that is second degree assault??? It was an accident, but we have a history of not getting along so I don't know how this is going to work out. And my ex won't even speak to me about the situation!!
                  What is wrong is that you should NOT be putting your daughter in the middle of this in any way, shape, or form. All she needs to know is that Mommy and Daddy love her more than anything and sometimes grown-ups make new friends. She needs to be taught that even if she is not exactly ecstatic about the ohter woman, she has to be polite and cordial to her. Why did you need to have your parents go talk to them? You should have gone back and handled it like the grown woman you are. Nobody can tell you what the court will decide as far as the assault charge. But, leave your daughter out of it. ALL the way out of it. She needs her Daddy just as much as she needs her Mommy. While she may not be old enough or savvy enough to catch on to the fact that you are trying to influence her into thinking less of her father, the court will catch on.
                  Last edited by mommyof4; 10-05-2006, 11:08 AM.
                  HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                  How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                  (unique up on him)
                  How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                  (same way)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My ex says that our daughter likes his girlfriend and they get along great, but I just really don't think this is so. I believe she is scared of her, and to be honest, *I* am scared for this person to be around my daughter at all!! She has said nasty things to both me AND my mother , butting herself into custody issues that are none of her business, and my ex refuses to do anything about it because he says that since she lives there and she is with him it affects her life.

                    Also, I am not fighting with her. I was the one who decided I did not want to be in the marriage anymore. I am just very upset at the state of affairs lately. My ex and I never had a fight in the past, I always had a very easy time making my point to him and he nearly always agreed. But once this girl came along he just starting making all sorts of ridiculous demands. He used to visit our daughter in our home, make dinner, give her a bath and go back to his parents house (where he was living) which I thought was very nice, and made visiting with him more comfortable for our daughter. But about two months after this girl came into the picture he started saying he should be able to take our daughter overnight, and doesn't want to visit her in our FAMILY home anymore, he wants to take her to his parents house so he can spend time with her without me around. Which I KNOW his gf told him to do, because she was jealous of him spending time with me. We were seperated but we were friends, now he is just a jerk, he won't talk to me about anything hardly unless there is a lawyer there or we are in mediation, he refuses to give me any money to raise our daughter, and is trying to tell me that I am only entitled to 1/3 of the equity in our home.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by dawn725 View Post
                      My ex says that our daughter likes his girlfriend and they get along great, but I just really don't think this is so. I believe she is scared of her, and to be honest, *I* am scared for this person to be around my daughter at all!! She has said nasty things to both me AND my mother , butting herself into custody issues that are none of her business, and my ex refuses to do anything about it because he says that since she lives there and she is with him it affects her life.

                      Also, I am not fighting with her. I was the one who decided I did not want to be in the marriage anymore. I am just very upset at the state of affairs lately. My ex and I never had a fight in the past, I always had a very easy time making my point to him and he nearly always agreed. But once this girl came along he just starting making all sorts of ridiculous demands. He used to visit our daughter in our home, make dinner, give her a bath and go back to his parents house (where he was living) which I thought was very nice, and made visiting with him more comfortable for our daughter. But about two months after this girl came into the picture he started saying he should be able to take our daughter overnight, and doesn't want to visit her in our FAMILY home anymore, he wants to take her to his parents house so he can spend time with her without me around. Which I KNOW his gf told him to do, because she was jealous of him spending time with me. We were seperated but we were friends, now he is just a jerk, he won't talk to me about anything hardly unless there is a lawyer there or we are in mediation, he refuses to give me any money to raise our daughter, and is trying to tell me that I am only entitled to 1/3 of the equity in our home.
                      So, basically, you decided you didn't want to be in the marriage, even though you had complete control, up to him coming over and caring for his child and then going back to his parents' home. Now that he has remembered that he is a man and not yours to control, you have a problem, especially becuase you think that if she had not come along, you would still be getting your way. Well, I am here to tell you that it doesn't matter WHY he decided to grow a set, it only matters that he did. He WILL get regular visitation (at the very least) and possibly joint custody, unless, as I said on your other thread, you keep on like this...then YOU will have visitation.

                      He kicked you out of the house (other thread) after you lived there for 1.5 years allowing him to fully support you. It is NOT the FAMILY home anymore. You are getting divorced. He is entitled to get on with his life. He does not have to sit back and watch you get on with life AND control his relationship with his child. For the last time, if you want child support, file for it.

                      www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=159410
                      Last edited by mommyof4; 10-05-2006, 11:36 AM.
                      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                      (unique up on him)
                      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                      (same way)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Lawyer

                        You really need to talk to your divorce lawyer about all of that. None of what your EX states matters at this point and his relationship with the woman doesn't matter either.

                        Your daughter should be able to go about a normal and loving life and you should go to your lawyer and get 1/2 of what accumulated during the marriage as well as pay or receive the appropriate amount of child support depending upon what the court rules.

                        Make sure they do not allow overnight non-relatives in the house while your child is there and that will take care of the issue of your daughter staying overnight with the other woman until they are legally married. Since you are still married to him, that will take some time and it may be a good bargaining chip for you so that the divorce goes through quickly.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by demartian View Post
                          You really need to talk to your divorce lawyer about all of that. None of what your EX states matters at this point and his relationship with the woman doesn't matter either.

                          Your daughter should be able to go about a normal and loving life and you should go to your lawyer and get 1/2 of what accumulated during the marriage as well as pay or receive the appropriate amount of child support depending upon what the court rules.

                          Make sure they do not allow overnight non-relatives in the house while your child is there and that will take care of the issue of your daughter staying overnight with the other woman until they are legally married. Since you are still married to him, that will take some time and it may be a good bargaining chip for you so that the divorce goes through quickly.
                          I completely disagree. They were seperated for 2 years!!! If he has a girlfriend now I really don't think that it applies to the divorce. And she has to remember that when she gets a boyfriend there will be no overnights for Mom either so watch what you put in you papers because it goes both ways.
                          Also, my daughter went on weekend visitations with my daughter starting at the age of 8months. I have always gotten along with his girlfriend(now ex-wife)it was important to my daughter to be comfortable with the WHOLE situation. In the end the best part of the whole thing my daughter's father is a JERK. I never told her that but she has figured it out on her own. We never had a custody agreement. He hasn't attempted to see his daughter in six years. But her step-mom is a great person. She stays in contact with my daughter. My daughter also goes over her house on occasion to visit not only her brother but her step-mom. I think it is great. I am sorry but you are going about this the wrong way. The only person who will be hurt and emotionally scarred in the end is your daughter. Are you ready to take full responsibility for that???
                          Last edited by stepmom33; 10-10-2006, 04:47 AM.
                          Not an expert just stating what I know from experience and or moral standings

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by stepmom33 View Post
                            I completely disagree. They were seperated for 2 years!!! If he has a girlfriend now I really don't think that it applies to the divorce. And she has to remember that when she gets a boyfriend there will be no overnights for Mom either so watch what you put in you papers because it goes both ways.
                            Also, my daughter went on weekend visitations with my daughter starting at the age of 8months. I have always gotten along with his girlfriend(now ex-wife)it was important to my daughter to be comfortable with the WHOLE situation. In the end the best part of the whole thing my daughter's father is a JERK. I never told her that but she has figured it out on her own. We never had a custody agreement. He hasn't attempted to see his daughter in six years. But her step-mom is a great person. She stays in contact with my daughter. My daughter also goes over her house on occasion to visit not only her brother but her step-mom. I think it is great. I am sorry but you are going about this the wrong way. The only person who will be hurt and emotionally scarred in the end is your daughter. Are you ready to take full responsibility for that???

                            I don't bring the people I date around my daughter, and if I were ever to introduce her to someone I was seeing, he would be a much better person than my ex's ***** of a girlfriend. She has done nothing but cause trouble between my ex and I, and incite arguments with me in front of my daughter! I don't want my daughter around her AT ALL, much less for overnight visits, because I know this girl is just trying to play house with MY husband and MY daughter in MY house and it's disgusting! I am not doing anything to my daughter, I am trying to save her from being around a dangerous person who is trying to alienate her from her MOTHER. My ex and I used to get along fine, now he is starting to seem as if he is as much a danger to our daughter as his girlfriend is. SHE started a fight with ME over what HE AND I were talking about...and somehow now *I* have criminal charges against me and an order that says I can't step foot on MY property. If she was a nice person I would not be acting like this, but she isn't and I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure my daughter doesn't ever have to be around her again.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by dawn725 View Post
                              I don't bring the people I date around my daughter, and if I were ever to introduce her to someone I was seeing, he would be a much better person than my ex's ***** of a girlfriend. She has done nothing but cause trouble between my ex and I, and incite arguments with me in front of my daughter! I don't want my daughter around her AT ALL, much less for overnight visits, because I know this girl is just trying to play house with MY husband and MY daughter in MY house and it's disgusting! I am not doing anything to my daughter, I am trying to save her from being around a dangerous person who is trying to alienate her from her MOTHER. My ex and I used to get along fine, now he is starting to seem as if he is as much a danger to our daughter as his girlfriend is. SHE started a fight with ME over what HE AND I were talking about...and somehow now *I* have criminal charges against me and an order that says I can't step foot on MY property. If she was a nice person I would not be acting like this, but she isn't and I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure my daughter doesn't ever have to be around her again.
                              YOU have criminal charges against you because YOU hit HER. YOU had no right to put yourself in a position where you could physically have contact with her, period. Grow up. You didn't want him, you just wanted him to bankroll you. If he decides to file for custody (which I hope he does), with your attitude, he will have a very good chance of getting it. If you want to continue to have an unrestrained relationship with your child, you will stop this nonsense at once. You and he weren't talking about anything (by your own posts). He wasn't at the door. You tried to push your way in (knowing that your daughter was in the car and witnessing this). BTW, what were you planning on doing with your daughter while you were in the house? Leave her UNSUPERVISED in the car? Yet another shining example of your consideration of how your actions affect your daughter. What if someone had stolen your car with her in it? What if someone had HIT your car with your daughter in it? You and your husband have been going to mediation. That is the only place you need to speak with him about any of this. There is a restraining order against you and you are facing some very serious charges. I suggest that you stay away from them, stop abusing your daughter (and yes, that IS what you are doing. You are psychologically abusing your daugter and using her as a weapon against your ex. Boy, judges LOVE when parents do that), and voluntarily enroll yourself into anger management classes and counseling to deal with your issues.

                              You are not a princess that is owed a man that answers to her beck and call. You are a woman that is responsible for your own support and your actions. He has a right to live his life without having to answer to you first. He MOST CERTAINLY has a right to have a relationship with his child without any negative interference from you. If you can't control yourself, the court most certainly will. What part of the fact that you are risking losing an unfettered relationship with your child do you not understand? What part of facing CRIMINAL CHARGES AND JAIL TIME do you not understand? Is this how you want your daughter to see you? Is this how you want your daughter to think that a grown woman acts? If so, then you have no business raising a vulnerable child.
                              Last edited by mommyof4; 10-10-2006, 06:25 AM.
                              HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                              How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                              (unique up on him)
                              How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                              (same way)

                              Comment

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