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Tired of being afraid in Illinois

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  • Tired of being afraid in Illinois


    I'm new at this. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I never thought that it could happen to me, but it did. the truth of the matter that it could happen to anyone. I thought because I was young, never married before, came from a good home, wasn't poor, never did without, have a lot of friends, close to my family, educated, pretty, not overweight, always very popular, never slepted around, had long term relationships, and nver picked up strangers; that I would never be in harm with a man. I heard about horrible stories about domestic abuse and watched movie and read stories about domestic abuse, but never thought it would be me. I knew this guy for sometime and he was not my usual type to date, but he seemed different and very sweet and kind. I thought he was going to be the one, and I thought I loved and that he loved me, but I guess I was wrong. He was fine for the first few months, but then thingst started to change. His true colors came out. He was jealous of me; that I knew more people than he did, that I was close to my family and had a big family, that I had more friends than he did, that I had a great high school life, just stupid stuff like that. He started by calling me names, then threw things at me, threatend me, then pushing me, then choking me, grabbing me, threatening me with his guns and aiming them at me, forcing me to do sexual things that I didn't want to do. I broke up with him, and he went off the deep end said and that was that. We talked a little while after and he sounded better and told me he was getting help, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Boy was I wrong. At first things were good, but then he was worse than before. He was drinking more, he got physical more frequently, verbally abusive all the time, and was blaming me for everything. He said to me, "Why do you make me hurt you like this?" "I love you so much and you make me hurt you." Now, I was so numb to the pain, and I just wanted to stick it out so he wouldn't hurt me anymore. I thought he loved me, but at this point I knew it wasn't love. It was obsession, control, possession, and ABUSE in all forms. I could live like this. I broke up with him again. He didn't take it well. I heard rumors about his past relationships that he was crazy and abusive, at this point I knew they were true. I had to get a protecive order, but it hasn't worked that good. He's wrecking my belongings, torturing my friends, prank blocked calls, cutting phones, you name it and it has happend, he assaulted me twice, once being rushed to the hospital, and wrecking my house. I had him arrested twice, but he's still at it. He finds me everywhere I go. He just doesn't quit. I've don everything the legal way. The polce are doing all they can, but he gets away everytime. He's a stalker, has a bad history of doing it. But I want to just get on with my life, and he is not letting me. I feel that he's going to kill me. And that's when legal strong actions will be taken, when I am dead.
    Last edited by RaRa7; 01-09-2006, 08:54 PM.

  • #2
    RaRa

    hey, come live with me in philadelphia. i wish i could help. the only advise i can give you is to document everything, get a copybook, write everything down, and keep in touch with this web site. everytime he does something tell us. keep a journal, so that when someone of authority sees it, everything is written down. i know it is hard but stay away from him. abuse is nothing but a horrible circle. i have been telling every girl on this web site about the circle. and it is so true. write soon. kim

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    • #3
      Document things and tell your friends and family that you can trust. This is a site where you can call the hotline number to get referred to resources and counseling- http://www.ndvh.org

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      • #4
        Everything Will Be Okay

        RaRa
        Don't Worry Everything Will Be Okay. I Am Here For You. You Know Me, But I'M Not Saying Who I Am. Just Think Of Me As Your Guardian Angel!

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