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I need help ASAP-Runaway in NC

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  • I need help ASAP-Runaway in NC

    im 5 months away from being 18. my mothers husband (alcoholic) causes me so much emotional stress. when i was younger my father died and had life insurance for my sister and i. they buy my sister everything and set no rules for her. i have the most rediculous rules and even if i dont break them he does things to make sure i do (like setting the clocks ten mins fast after i leave so im late for curfew). I have to pay for car insurance, car parts, gas, food and clothing and i bought my car...all with my own money. so i wonder where is the money from my father? i know its too late to report the money loss. but i cannot live there anymore. ive tried to move out and my mother called the cops. they said i couldnt leave. eventually it got so bad that i went to DSS several times. many people told me to file a report, but that would make things so much worse. the same people told me at 16 in the state of North Carolina a child CAN leave their home without permission and not be forced back. I have a friend whose grandmother said she would allow me to live there till i was able to get my own place. my question is, if i leave my house and move in there, and my mother and her husband call the police, can they come get me and make me go back? and if they dont make me go back, can i get the insurance money sent to me so i can actually use it?
    i need help fast because my family is planning on moving to hawaii this friday so i have no way to leave (they said i will not be able to get a job so i can save money to buy a plane ticket and runaway)

  • #2
    Per the North Carolina Juvenile Code:

    Article 34.
    Parental Authority over Juveniles
    7B‑3400. Juvenile under 18 subject to parents' control.

    Notwithstanding any other provision of law, any juvenile under 18 years of age, except as provided in G.S. 7B‑3402 and G.S. 7B‑3403, shall be subject to the supervision and control of the juvenile's parents.

    The exceptions are juveniles that are married, servicing in the armed forces or have been emancipated by the court.

    I can't answer your questions about the insurance money, but I can tell nephew had money left to him when an aunt died, and my sister (not his actual mother, she took custody when his mother died) did have access to it. Now she had to provide proof that the money was in fact being spent on the child (receipts and such) but she was able to get money when she needed it for him. you even know that there is any money now?

    P.S. Also, do you know for a fact that the money was left to you and your sister? I am listed as the beneficiary of my husband's life insurance policy, and then the children are listed as beneficiaries if I'm already deceased or die at the same time as my husband. If your parents were still married there's a very good chance that that's how the life insurance policy was set up. But maybe not..and especially if your parents were divorced.
    Last edited by pty; 04-05-2006, 11:03 AM.


    • #3
      why did they tell me i can leave?

      i am suposed to get a check every month til i am 18 (from mothers mouth) when i questioned her about it she said her husband was using it to pay the mortgage on a house in another state that other people are living in.
      why are all these social workers telling me i can and should leave the house?? i had plans to live with my grandmother in PA but she said i shouldnt because laws are different there. but they said here, i can leave! i have no proof of anything he does so i cant get emancipatied, plus i dont have time for the process. as i said their planning on leaving this friday. im under 18 and cannot get parental consent so i cant get married. ive tried to join the military but you have to be 18, have parental consent or have graduated high school. i have no options left! i need to be out of that house!! please, someone help!


      • #4
        Originally posted by sm7if
        i am suposed to get a check every month til i am 18 (from mothers mouth) when i questioned her about it she said her husband was using it to pay the mortgage on a house in another state that other people are living in.
        I’m sure that a lot depends on exactly how this was all set up. I’m just guessing that it was set up to be something along the same lines as child support payments, in which case the money is paid to your mother to assist her in providing what the children need.

        Just because she says step-dad is spending it on a mortgage for another house doesn’t mean that he really is or that you’re not getting what you’re supposed to be getting. For example, they are providing you with housing, electricity, phone, Internet, food (and yeah, I know you said you buy your own food, but I do find it hard to believe that Mom is buying food for everyone in the house but you), etc, etc. They are not required to provide you with things such as a car. So, let’s say all those bills are due the 1st of the month and when paying them Mom uses funds that are actually earmarked to pay this other mortgage. Then she gets this check on the 10th and basically reimburses herself for the money she already spent when paying these other bills. Then using that 'reimbursement' she pays this other mortgage. That sounds kind of convoluted, I know, but hopefully it makes some sort of sense to you.

        But again, I’m just guessing and providing you with a possible scenario, because I don’t know the details.

        Originally posted by sm7if
        why are all these social workers telling me i can and should leave the house??

        I have no idea why they told you that, but they shouldn’t have. The NC Juvenile Code clearly states that until the day you turn 18 you are under your parents’ control (unless you are one of the exceptions listed). How did I know where to find this? I live in NC, and a NC policeman told me where this information was located. So, you have 2 NC policeman (the one I talked to and one you talked to) saying that you can’t leave home against your parents wishes and the NC Juvenile Code telling you the same thing…

        I really don’t mean to sound insensitive, but you only have 5 months until you turn 18. It doesn’t sound like you are in a dangerous or completely intolerable environment. Surely you can tough it out 5 more months.

        Good luck to you.


        • #5
          OP, I can tell you from personal experience that you cannot leave home in NC until you are 18.

          My sister tried to run 4 times, and each time, we picked up the phone and reported her. Yep, they brought her home. The last time, they caught her in Georgetown. Thank goodness that the guy she met on the bus was a truly honorable person. He called and told me she was there. She was taken to juvenile hall. When we asked what would happen if we just let her go, the authorities informed us that she would be facing criminal charges, and if convicted (which she would have been) she would remain in juvenile hall until she turned 18. We drove to get her, she did face charges and was put on very strict probation.

          I don't know what county you are in, but the social workers in the counties I lived in often had no idea what they were talking about.
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)


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