Georgia: Abandonment, Child Support, Parental Rights

[singlemom456]

My husband left me while I was pregnant with our daughter. He claims he wants to be part of her life, but he hasn't seen her since June 28 and it is now September 12. She is now 5 months old, so he has gone half of her life without seeing her.

He DOES pay child support regularly.

I had a friend tell me if he goes 12 months with no contact with her it's considered abandonment and I can have his rights terminated. (Probably an unnecessary step, but if there's a way to protect me from his realizing what an *** he's being and deciding to fight me for custody when she's like 10 I'll take the step). Does this apply if he's paying child support or only if he doesn't pay child support?

Would I be better off filing for divorce sooner rather than later or waiting till he hasn't seen his daughter for a certain amount of time? I'm not out for more money in a divorce settlement, I'm more concerned about preventing a court battle if he ever comes to his senses.

[xena]

My husband left me while I was pregnant with our daughter. He claims he wants to be part of her life, but he hasn't seen her since June 28 and it is now September 12. She is now 5 months old, so he has gone half of her life without seeing her.

He DOES pay child support regularly.

I had a friend tell me if he goes 12 months with no contact with her it's considered abandonment and I can have his rights terminated. (Probably an unnecessary step, but if there's a way to protect me from his realizing what an *** he's being and deciding to fight me for custody when she's like 10 I'll take the step). Does this apply if he's paying child support or only if he doesn't pay child support?

Would I be better off filing for divorce sooner rather than later or waiting till he hasn't seen his daughter for a certain amount of time? I'm not out for more money in a divorce settlement, I'm more concerned about preventing a court battle if he ever comes to his senses.

In Ga. the payment of CS is considered to be a form of contact. The NCP has to have no contact at all for at least 12 months before proceedings for abandonment can be started.

[mommyof4]

And if you are deliberately refusing to allow him to see his child (as you two are married, he has the exact same rights to the child as you do) in order to get the 12 months of no contact, it will backfire on you. Not that it matters in this case, because as you stated and Xena clarified, he is paying child support.

[singlemom456]

Thanks for the replies. No, I'm not keeping her from him; I actually work for his company (something I'm working on rectifying...and the reason I can't make it without child support. I took a very low salary to help get the company off the ground --in fact I worked for free the first 6 months -- but that's a whole other issue) and I used to ask him all the time if he wanted to see her after work but finally quit asking when I got tired of his excuses why he couldn't see her.

I've had family members tell me I should have his rights terminated so my parents or someone she knows could take care of her if something should ever happen to me, but I guess that's not going to happen. (Suddenly everybody and their brother has an opinion of how I should handle things!) Frankly, I wish he'd just step up and be the father I always thought he'd be, but I guess that's not going to happen either. I hate the fact that if something were to happen to me she'd probably have to live with someone she doesn't even know, but I guess I just have to make sure I stay alive. lol.

[mommyof4]

I just want to tell you that by my response, I did not mean to imply that you were deliberately preventing visitation with her father. I just wanted to make sure that the information was on here in case someone had that thought.


If there is no hope of the marriage being repaired (and it doesn't sound like there is) I would suggest that you go ahead and end it so that you and your daughter can get on with life. Your daughter will always know that you love her, and who knows, once he is faced with the reality of divorce, custody and visitation, maybe it will spur him to change his ways in regard to fatherhood. If not, know that it is HIS loss and just do the best you can for you and your daughter.

[SINGLEMOM2006]

im going through kind of the same thing.. my sons father left us at the hospital have not seen him since the day my son was born a year and a month ago and ive just now had to get an attorny to have his rights terminated because hes not done anything and not support of no kind what so every.. theres a lot of guide lines you have to meet to have a fathers rights terminated.. this is the fourth attorny that i went to and they are acually on my side the other ones said that there was not way that i could have his rights terminated.. then to its a plus becuse my attorny is a female and that helps because then they can see where were coming from.. its a very long process....

[xena]

im going through kind of the same thing.. my sons father left us at the hospital have not seen him since the day my son was born a year and a month ago and ive just now had to get an attorny to have his rights terminated because hes not done anything and not support of no kind what so every.. theres a lot of guide lines you have to meet to have a fathers rights terminated.. this is the fourth attorny that i went to and they are acually on my side the other ones said that there was not way that i could have his rights terminated.. then to its a plus becuse my attorny is a female and that helps because then they can see where were coming from.. its a very long process....

Did your ex sign an affidavit of paternity at the hospital?

Is there an existing court order for CS?

Are there any other court orders?

Were you and him married at the time of birth?

[demartian]

im going through kind of the same thing.. my sons father left us at the hospital have not seen him since the day my son was born a year and a month ago and ive just now had to get an attorny to have his rights terminated because hes not done anything and not support of no kind what so every.. theres a lot of guide lines you have to meet to have a fathers rights terminated.. this is the fourth attorny that i went to and they are acually on my side the other ones said that there was not way that i could have his rights terminated.. then to its a plus becuse my attorny is a female and that helps because then they can see where were coming from.. its a very long process....

You went through four lawyers because you need to meet at least these minimums before even considering terminating the father's rights:

1) Be married for at least one year to a person who meets the requirements to take on the new role of father for the child. Without this, the courts will not terminate his rights. They can order supervised or no visitation, but will not stop child support from him as they feel it is in the best interest of the child to be supported by two parents.

2) Show years of abandonment or abuse or that the father is a current threat to the child. #1 and #3 must still be met.

3) Show that it is in the best interest of the child to not have any contact with or receive child support from the biological father. #1 and #2 must still be met.