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Can a 19 year old talk to his 16 year old gf? Connecticut

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  • Can a 19 year old talk to his 16 year old gf? Connecticut

    Ok long story so you understand it all!
    Ok so here is the deal she was born Jan 18 1995 and i was born may 29th 1992. At first her dad was ok with it we from the beginning told him we liked each other. Then when he found out my parents did not like it he claimed that he thought we were only friends that he had no clue we liked each other. So i ended up moving out and my parents made it very clear that me and her loved each other. However then he let me come over his house to see his daughter. So we got very close. Then i told him i was sick from a heart problem and would die in 3-4 months. Two days later he cut us apart and told his daughter not to talk to me but not to tell me i could not talk to her that he would tell me the next day. He never did his daughter wrote down my number and told him to call me. And he did not. So he finally told me 3 weeks after and i had to go to him in order to hear it. He said that i was to old and she was to young. Wow from may to july i aged three years. He told other people that he thought we were just friends and then pulled us apart, remember that excuse. However he use to joke calling me her bf and once payed for me at a restaurant and said i guess i have to pay for my soon to be son in law. But he said he don't know we loved each other ha. by the way my heart thing ain't as serious as the docs first expected.

    So the question is if i continue to talk to the girl against her father wishes can i get arrested or have a restraining order? I just want to be able to talk to her we don't have sex and we don't touch each other just talk over the phone and use to see each other every once in a while!

    Thanks sorry for the book lol.
    Last edited by Surefire; 07-21-2011, 05:04 PM.

  • #2
    If father says stay away from her, you stay away from her until she is 18. Yes,
    you can get in trouble if you don't.
    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

    Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

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    • #3
      He probably thought you were lying, too.

      Betty is correct. If Dad says stay away - then you best stay away. No phone calls, texts, social networking chats/PMs...nothing.

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      • #4
        What can happen like jail restraining order. And what about age of consent she can have sex but it dont have a effect on talking thats all i want to do is be able to talk to her nothing more? Please explain im confused maybe i dont understand the law. Help me out. I dont mean to annoy you guys just trying to get a good understanding!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Surefire View Post
          What can happen like jail restraining order. And what about age of consent she can have sex but it dont have a effect on talking thats all i want to do is be able to talk to her nothing more? Please explain im confused maybe i dont understand the law. Help me out. I dont mean to annoy you guys just trying to get a good understanding!



          Even if she can consent to sex at 16 or whatever age, this does NOT mean she gets to override her parents' decision regarding who she can or cannot be around.

          This means that if Dad gets a restraining order against you - and he does NOT have to articulate a specific threat in order to do this given that she's still a minor - that's IT as far as you're concerned.

          His world is GOLDEN. He is GOD, to put it another way. Right up until she either emancipates (not happening - let's not go there) or reaches the age of majority.

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          • #6
            Yes. Dad can get a restraining order. And if you violate it, then yes, you go to jail.

            The age of consent and the age of majority are two different things. All the age of consent means is that the state will no longer prosecute you for having sex with her (though there are other related things it still might prosecute you for). It is not until the age of majority, which is AT LEAST 18 in every state and older in some, that she has the right to override Dad's decisions as to who she can and cannot see and talk to.

            Until she is 18, and not one minute earlier, Dad is GOD.
            The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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            • #7
              Well I checked.

              Well I checked with federal state and individual state officers. And he can not get a restraing order against me for no reason it would have to be that I did a act of violence, or threatened harm, or stalk. And all parties above said that I have not done anything illegal. Therefor restrain order has extremely little or no chance to pass. He threatened to kill me lately to a few people so tables turned even tho I rather we just bolth get along rather than this epic battle.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Surefire View Post
                Well I checked with federal state and individual state officers. And he can not get a restraing order against me for no reason it would have to be that I did a act of violence, or threatened harm, or stalk. And all parties above said that I have not done anything illegal. Therefor restrain order has extremely little or no chance to pass. He threatened to kill me lately to a few people so tables turned even tho I rather we just bolth get along rather than this epic battle.


                You were terrifically ill-informed.

                You see, you're an adult. Your girlfriend is a minor.

                There is a big difference between a restraining order obtained to protect a minor, and a restraining order between two adults.

                THAT is what you're missing.

                Did you make sure those law enforcement folk you talked to were actually attorneys? Who recognized the difference?

                No?

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                • #9
                  Well in Since were only 2 and 8 months apart they said there would have to be a reasonable reason to get a restraing order for it to hold up in court. You can't just get one cause you don't like someone. Especially the fact it's proven that I try to protect her. When she ran away a few days ago I met her to see if she was ok than handed her over to police and expressed my concern to them for first and most importantly the fact he makes fun of her for being suicidal and that she takes medication and also that he threatened to kill me. So he is known as no GOD. He had Sorta a rep like that to cause I was warned about him when I started to date her. Anyhow all that enforcement said was that it be extremely hard for any restraining order that was filed to be held cause It has been noted time and time again that Im not there to harm her what so ever.

                  Are you a attorney? Just wondering. And if you are is this your expertise? and if not what would this expertise be called? Cause I'm looking for a attorney that specializes in this field of expertise.

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                  • #10
                    Dear Surefire,

                    Here's the deal. Maybe a restraining order is legal, maybe not. But because your GF is under 18 what her parents say is what must be.

                    If this is true love you can wait and you can obey her parents while waiting.

                    By dating (not even having sex, just dating) a minor, particularly against their parents' wishes, you risk all sorts of things you really don't want. For instance, if her father even thinks you may be having sex with her you can be arrested, and, if convicted (even if you did nothing) you will be labeled a sex offender, have to register everywhere you live, not be able to get certain types of jobs or live in certain areas, and so forth. Plus have a criminal record.

                    All because you disobeyed the parents of the minor you wanted to date.

                    Alternate scenario: you date her. Things go well for a while and then they don't. She cries "statutory rape" and you get arrested. If convicted, you will be labeled as a sex offender and have to register everywhere you live, not be able to get certain types of jobs or live in certain areas, and so forth. Plus have a criminal record.

                    While neither of these things may happen there is no guarantee of that. Just like there is no guarantee when you put a gun to your head that you've got the unloaded chamber up.

                    Pursuing this minor and disobeying her parents could be a life-limiting choice.

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                    • #11
                      How can she cry stagetory rape when she's 16 and is age of consent would it not just be her crying rape. And were bolth virgins so how would he be able to claim that we had sex when we have not. I understand what your saying but the police already know I don't do any thing wrong for god sake she ran away how many 19 year olds do u know that when there gf runs away does not have sex with her and I did not we met infront of a store were there together for 15-20 mins before a cop came where I told them the problem and handed her off. So I also don't see where he can do anything when I am a good kid and I don't do anything wrong. And if he did lie they would have to prove it before I get marked as a what u said sex offender even tho I never had sex ever. 19 year old virgin I obviously got something rite. I'm not like other drug or alcohol fueled teens. I try to do everything rite and I'm not gonna get lied about by anyone especially her father. I don't know I'm not mad at you guys. I'm mad at the what u said just cause he's the type that would do something exactly like u said.

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                      • #12
                        You are free to be as mad as you wish. You are also free to make whatever decisions you wish. I suggest you make the decisions when you are thinking rationally and not angry. The responders here genuinely wish to help you and are giving you good answers.

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                        • #13
                          No I'm not mad like angry I'm mad at just the fact a court would even entertain a restraining order due to a lie if you know what I mean. And just frustrated that he might just try that but hey one day at a time rite. The only other question was if he passed a restraining order on me and I marry that girl which I will can she say or do anything to remove the lies her father said to me like if he had me processed some how as a sex offender can she later come out and say it was a lie and now that she is 18 that it would be taken as a adult sayin it. Cause I know that since she is a minor she does not have any say in court if he were to lie about me.

                          Is anyone on this thread a attorney?

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                          • #14
                            Trust me I appreciate everyone's comments!!

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                            • #15
                              You are free to seek the advice of an attorney. Many offer a 1/2 hour consultation free. We do not refer on this website.

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