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Do not want to lose my child Connecticut

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  • Do not want to lose my child Connecticut

    I currently have joint custody with my child residing with me. I will be moving to out of state and my childs father is against this. I am to move in two weeks and he now is speaking on having me served with papers. with two weeks left before I move was there a step I was suppose to take with the courts.

  • #2
    Originally posted by specialasia View Post
    I currently have joint custody with my child residing with me. I will be moving to out of state and my childs father is against this. I am to move in two weeks and he now is speaking on having me served with papers. with two weeks left before I move was there a step I was suppose to take with the courts.



    If your current order is silent about it, you generally need permission from Dad OR the courts.

    With that said, could you please answer the following?

    1. How far are you currently from Dad, and how far would you be if you moved?

    2. Will this impact Dad's current visitation schedule?

    3. What are your reasons for moving?

    Comment


    • #3
      Currently 15 miles away, will be 830 miles away. his current visitation is everyother weekend which has been in effect since our child was 3 since then he has moved. the living enviornment is better and so is the svhool system she will attend a charter school which I beleive will benifit her a great deal for she struggles in read and has for the past 3 years. the living space is greater and the community is better. Im very nervous

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by specialasia View Post
        Currently 15 miles away, will be 830 miles away. his current visitation is everyother weekend which has been in effect since our child was 3 since then he has moved. the living enviornment is better and so is the svhool system she will attend a charter school which I beleive will benifit her a great deal for she struggles in read and has for the past 3 years. the living space is greater and the community is better. Im very nervous

        You should be. Nothing you have said is reason to move the child over 800 miles away from her father.

        Has Dad been exercising that visitation? He regularly sees the child?

        Comment


        • #5
          yes he has but he has also taking a job where he is not with her when she is there, which is a job he only does on weekends he has her. visitation is not a problem not every other weekend but on all school breaks and summer vacation. our child is in the 5th grade and reading on a 2nd grade level. I work in the school system and have tried to help. his only activity is every other weekend no report card conferences, no concerts she is in the band, nolunch money, no phone calls but for everyother weekend to say he is outside. when she calls he will not answer his phone... this can not possibale be okay. I do not want to deney him when you are faced with a child telling you I do not want to go, it is not clean there, he is not with me.. I make her go aout of fear of what he may do. He is not helping her with her reading or band paractice or doctors appointments and anything else outside of seeing her every other weekend. I would not take her from him with visitations, I will pay half I will drive up if need be, but every other weekend and that is what he wants. This move is not to take her away the school is better my employment is at a higher pay the cost of living is lower. Maybe it is my marriage that will take place this saturday. Im not sure but he has no active role in her life outside of everyother weekend!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by specialasia View Post
            yes he has but he has also taking a job where he is not with her when she is there, which is a job he only does on weekends he has her. visitation is not a problem not every other weekend but on all school breaks and summer vacation. our child is in the 5th grade and reading on a 2nd grade level. I work in the school system and have tried to help. his only activity is every other weekend no report card conferences, no concerts she is in the band, nolunch money, no phone calls but for everyother weekend to say he is outside.
            But you've apparently been ok with this up until now?

            when she calls he will not answer his phone... this can not possibale be okay. I do not want to deney him when you are faced with a child telling you I do not want to go, it is not clean there, he is not with me.. I make her go aout of fear of what he may do. He is not helping her with her reading or band paractice or doctors appointments and anything else outside of seeing her every other weekend.
            He's apparently doing what the court order suggests.

            I would not take her from him with visitations, I will pay half I will drive up if need be, but every other weekend and that is what he wants.
            Expect to pay ALL of the costs of transportation if you're allowed to relocate the child.

            This move is not to take her away the school is better my employment is at a higher pay the cost of living is lower. Maybe it is my marriage that will take place this saturday. Im not sure but he has no active role in her life outside of everyother weekend!
            But you ARE going to be taking her away from her father.

            Honestly, I do NOT think your chances of relocating WITH her are good. Please, speak with an attorney.

            You need one.

            Comment


            • #7
              can I ask the courts for permission to relocate and if so what info will I need to provide. I can not lose my child she is 10 yrs old and has always been with me that has to hold some weight...
              Last edited by specialasia; 01-18-2010, 05:18 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by specialasia View Post
                can I ask the courts for permission to relocate and if so what info will I need to provide. I can not lose my child she is 10 yrs old and has always been with that has to hold some weight...
                Has Dad served you with papers yet?

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                • #9
                  no he has tried I was not at work and told someone came the following day

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I was not okay with it this is a person who makes every atempt to down grade me.. HE wishes we lived in africa so he can have his wife and still marry me. unfortunatly my child is 10 and not 12 so the courts will not listen to what she has to say... Is there a way around this I would love for her to speak , he on the other hand is happy she cannot.
                    Last edited by specialasia; 01-18-2010, 05:16 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by specialasia View Post
                      I was not okay with it this is a person who makes every atempt to down grade me.. HE wishes we lived in africa so he can have his wife and still marry me. unfortunatly my child is 10 and not 12 so the courts will not listen to what she has to say... Is there a way around this I would love for her to speak , he on the other hand is happy she cannot.
                      Can you put that another way??

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                      • #12
                        I have read that if a child is not the age of 12 they cannot state with whom the want to reside with or give any input at all. also her father keeps reminding me of this. she loves her mother and father however I have been through it all with her. and the thought of losing her is past unbearable.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by specialasia View Post
                          I was not okay with it this is a person who makes every atempt to down grade me.. HE wishes we lived in africa so he can have his wife and still marry me. unfortunatly my child is 10 and not 12 so the courts will not listen to what she has to say... Is there a way around this I would love for her to speak , he on the other hand is happy she cannot.
                          Um...she would not be able to CHOOSE even if she was 12. I'm not sure where you got that.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by specialasia View Post
                            I have read that if a child is not the age of 12 they cannot state with whom the want to reside with or give any input at all. also her father keeps reminding me of this. she loves her mother and father however I have been through it all with her. and the thought of losing her is past unbearable.

                            A child cannot choose where they wish to live until they are adults.

                            In some states (Georgia comes to mind) a child of 14 or 15 may well be given the opportunity to state their preference, but this by no means indicates that a judge will agree.

                            You NEED to show why this move would be in the best interests of the child. Not you, but the child.

                            So far, I'm sorry, but you haven't done this.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              At special request, the judge can go into a closed session with the child. Upon a marriage, child custody papers can be modified. You should have started a long time ago.

                              Comment

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