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17, pregnant, 2 1/2 months til 18 Connecticut

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  • 17, pregnant, 2 1/2 months til 18 Connecticut

    RE: Connecticut My grandchildren have been under their paternal grandparents' jurisdiction for over 16 years. During this time there have been physical and emotional abuse issues documented which, for some ungodly reason, have been completely ignored and discounted, regardless of documentation by health care providers and eye witness accounts.

    Blatant statements by the childrens' own father, during his own bid to have his parental rights removed, were made to the judges involved that he would rather give up his parental rights than for the children to be allowed to visit their mother, my daughter, or pay any kind of child support (although my daughter has been paying her share for the past 12 years). His further explanation for seeking respite from his rights was that he didn't have time for his two older children, as he had another family now...! Although the judge pretty well told him off, and refused his petition, the children were, nonetheless, aware of his actions, and similar incidences within the past 16 years.

    My daughter has tried time after time to regain custody of the children since they were stolen from her in 1992-93. The children were never told of this during their up growing years by their father or grandparents; instead they were told that she didn't love them, she didn't want them and could care less about them; however, they attended the same schools as their cousins, who always kept them informed of how she was trying so hard to see them and get them back. When they were finally old enough to do so, they began their own communications with their mother, until finally their father/grands tried to have it brought to a halt. At that time the courts were informed that, contrary to what father/grands had stated, not only had they always known, but so had DCF, where the mother was living (a convenient lie whilst guardianship was being determined all those years ago), the excuse used by that family about why the children never saw their mother. That day the children were assigned the first of a number of advocates.

    Unfortunately, throughout all these years, none of the advice from any of the advocates have ever been heeded...and the toll on the children has been immense.

    My daughter has fought this legal battle with no money, suffered numerous emotional episodes, had 2 relationships destroyed by actual harassment of the boyfriends by this family and lost more than 3 jobs due to harassment during working hours by the father and other family members. Although she has sought recourse numerous times, the courts refuse to acknowledge the actions, nor to prohibit that family from such activities.

    The children have been placed in the middle of the whole war, being used as "spies"and pawns, until the older child, my grandaughter, had had enough, and began refusing to take part. At the age of 12 the consistent physical abuse began, including being beaten in public by her father, with a belt...for which he was never charged nor called into account, and my grandson being given a black eye by his father, and then being coersced into lying about it. Although the boy's explanation was suspect, there was never an insuing investigation. My grandaughter finally ran away for the first time. She ran to her mother, who dutifully called DCF and reported the event...and for which action she was charged, though the charges were eventually dropped...months later!

    My grandaughter, although warned by everyone in my family to just tough it out until she was old enough to have a say-so in where she lived, continued to rebel and eventually wound up under state jurisdiction. Even though the grandmother wound up with custody of the children, she never knew where the girl was or whether she was even safe. Most times the girl would just run away to her mother who would call the grandmother and let her know she was alright, and usually the 'grand would let her stay overnight. At the beginning of this year, though, the girl disappeared for weeks, and did NOT go to her mom. It turned out then, and it was apparently alright when the grandmother found out, the 16 yr. old girl had moved in with her 15 year old boyfriend and his mother this year!

    My daughter was horrified, and she demanded the girl to move in with her since the grandmother apparently didn't care where she was. She contacted the authorities and the fight was on...yet again. It was apparently alright for her to live with the 15 year old boyfriend, but not her own mother. Nothing was ever addressed with regard to where the girl had been living, nor that she came and went as she pleased, nor even that no one ever knew where she was, except when she would stay with her mother. My grandaughter stayed with my was around that time that The grandmother filed a petition to move to Ga.(see below) and that my grandaughter discovered that she was pregnant. She is now 5 months into that pregnancy.

    The other day, the grandmother had to tell my daughter that she wants to take the children to Ga.; she had to tell her because my daughter was in court the same day as she, and saw her there. The courts had granted the petition which she filed IN MAY, about which my daughter never received notification. Oddly, on the very day she was supposedly served, a neighbor reported that someone was seen at my daughter's house stealing something from her mailbox. Equally odd was that the grandmother told the judge that she had watched my daughter's boyfriend get the mail that day, so she just KNEW my daughter had been served. She lives about 6 miles away from my daughter. How would she just happen to be there to see the mail picked 7:00 at night? And my daughter has always been served in person. Also odd is that neither the witness who called the police about the guy picking through her maill, nor was the police incident report were ever sobpoenaed.

    These two children have simply had to live with the court's bad decision after bad decision regarding their care and no one, absolutely NO ONE, in authority has ever really investigated this situation the way it ought to have been done...and if so, the local, civic connections this family has, have proven fruitful in that the results have been squelched.

    My grandaughter will be 18 in the first week of Dec., a mere 10 weeks from now +/-. Her baby will be born a month later. She fears for the life of her child if she is forced to accompany her grandmother to Ga., and for good reason: her father grew angry at his new (at the time) wife while she was 8 months pregnant and knocked her down the stairs. The little girl she was carrying died. This was only last year. And her grandmother has not ceased to be physically and verbally abusive to her and my grandson, right down to destroying their personal belongings...including my grandaughter's clothes.

    I am not in the position to ask for custody of her as I am staying in my mother-in-law's house as her primary caregiver (she's 91) and I am also primary care-giver to my husband, a disabled vet. But my grandaughter wants to stay with her mother, who has rarely even had occasion to raise her voice at the children. So, also, does my grandson wish to stay with her. He will be 16 on Monday.

    What possible recourse do these children have? It breaks my heart to see these things and not be able to help.

    Please, can anyone help?

  • #2
    I am terribly sorry, but very few people on this board are going to read through all of that just to get to your question.

    Can you boil it down to, say, 25 words or so?
    Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

    I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

    Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.


    • #3
      Actually probably not. But that's alright, I'll try elsewhere. I have learned a lot about a number of things by reading this forum though, so I thank you for that!


      The forum is intended for informational use only and should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for legal advice. The information contained on are opinions and suggestions of members and is not a representation of the opinions of does not warrant or vouch for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any postings or the qualifications of any person responding. Please consult a legal expert or seek the services of an attorney in your area for more accuracy on your specific situation.