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Unruley Teenager Colorado

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  • Unruley Teenager Colorado

    Hi all, just started looking here for help and I don't see a similar post off-hand.

    Here is the scoop: Son is fifteen. Basically refuses to go to school. Runs away when he doesn't like our rules or when there is the possibility of any conflict, sometimes for days on end. Is verbally abusive to his mother, my wife. Does drugs (mostly marijuana we believe) and is unwilling to stop.

    Yes, this has gotten completely out of hand. We try grounding and similar consequences to dissuade him from doing these things which are harmful to himself and disrespectful. If we ground him or take away toys (eg xbox), he just runs away. He is in counseling and basically bs's the counselor into believing there are no real issues. We have reported him as a runaway when he leaves and doesn't come back for several days and receive no support or help from law enforcement (I'm not sure what they can do). We are looking into treatment and behavioral programs but there is a catch 22 concerning the programs being too expensive and us making too much.

    We are to the point where we need to find out what we can legally do next. I feel as if our hands are completely tied and we just have to do what we can until he is eighteen.

    Any ideas or advice on where to start looking for legal help in this? I'm honestly not even sure where to start.

    Thank you for your time - sorry about the lengthy post.
    Ryan

  • #2
    Ryan, I am sorry this has taken this long for a response.

    Sadly there isn't much you can do. Only thing that I can think of is joint counseling. He may clam up with you there, but if you two see the same counselor, it may help shed some light for the counselor to hear both sides.

    You see, you can preach all you want, you can instruct out the ying yang, it doesn't matter if you cuff your son to a chair and use a bullhorn- if he doesn't want to do it, there is very little you can do. The saying "you can always lead a horse to water, but you can't force him to drink" is true. Your son has to be willing to cooperate.

    At this point, it's his life and his future is in his hands. His failure is his fault and his problem.

    Though a thought just came to mind. You can always try military school or Job Corp. But again, if he's not willing there isn't much you can do.


    My grandparents had that problem with my sister, and they essentially "let her go". And when she came back to tell them how they failed her, they told her the truth- it was all about her choice. She chose to not go to school. She chose to use drugs. She chose to become a failure.

    Hope that helps.
    I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
    Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
    I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
    Don't worry, be happy.

    http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you

      I really appreciate your response. My wife and I have been going to Al-anon and counseling and he is in a wilderness program. One day at a time

      Thank you again for your insight.

      Comment


      • #4
        Right on! You guys are in my prayers!
        I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
        Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
        I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
        Don't worry, be happy.

        http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

        Comment


        • #5
          You are not alone.

          It used to be that at 15 you had the option of apprenticing out the boy to someone that would work him for 16 hours a day to learn a trade. Not any more. Kids have way too much time on their hands today. My only possible suggestion is a hobby (Car or sports or XBox ?) that you both can re bond over. Not easy to do.

          Good luck.

          Comment

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