Supervised Visitation for Elderly Family Member Colorado

[carpeweb]

I'm interested in knowing whether Colorado has supervised visitation laws for elderly family members.

I care for and live with my father, and I have come to a point where I want nothing to do with one of my sisters. However, I have no desire to interfere with her relationship with my father. I have tried to facilitate previous visits, and in both cases I ended up extremely upset emotionally. Rather than continue a situation that could escalate and which even without escalation is unpleasant for myself and for my father, I'd like to arrange some form of supervised visit, where I clear out of the house for the duration of the visit.

My father is wheelchair dependent, so visitation would only make sense in his home. We already have care givers for my father, but it seems that my sister always has questions or insists on involving me in conversation, neither of which is acceptable to me.

Any ideas or information that could help?

Thanks!

[turbowray]

hmmm

I'm interested in knowing whether Colorado has supervised visitation laws for elderly family members.

I care for and live with my father, and I have come to a point where I want nothing to do with one of my sisters. However, I have no desire to interfere with her relationship with my father. I have tried to facilitate previous visits, and in both cases I ended up extremely upset emotionally. Rather than continue a situation that could escalate and which even without escalation is unpleasant for myself and for my father, I'd like to arrange some form of supervised visit, where I clear out of the house for the duration of the visit.

My father is wheelchair dependent, so visitation would only make sense in his home. We already have care givers for my father, but it seems that my sister always has questions or insists on involving me in conversation, neither of which is acceptable to me.

Any ideas or information that could help?

Thanks!

He is your sisters father also, it would be rude not to answer questions reguarding her father, any other assistant would. Being in a wheelchair does not bind someone to thier home. My father in law is paralyzed from the waist down, and goes everywhere and hunts and fishes. I think you just don't want the inconvenience of traveling to your sisters house, and you just don't care for her. Since you care for your father, you should give the same respect to your sister or any other family member, and answer any questions she has about her father. If all this is not possible, then I would suggest training someone who could take him to her house or watch him at his house while he is with his daughter, and you would have to pay for it (or loose that pay, since you are not caring for him at the time). Do you have someone you could hire just for this, to keep the peace between you and your sister, and father. I would imagine that not wanting to answer her questions, and making her angry in your fathers presence, is not fair to your father either.

[carpeweb]

Clarification

You make a lot of assumptions in your reply, almost none of which is remotely accurate. Let me clarify and restate my problem.

He is your sisters father also, it would be rude not to answer questions reguarding her father, any other assistant would.

I answer all questions regarding my father. I send all my sisters regular emails about his condition. I encourage all of them to call him regularly. The sister in question phones him about once every 4-6 months and complains about the inconvenience of not having a reminder to call him. This is not about keeping my sisters informed. This is about a situation that is untenable for me, namely that I come under constant and heavy criticism from one of my sisters, and I don't feel I should have to deal with that in addition to the already heavy load of caring for my father.

Being in a wheelchair does not bind someone to thier home.

I didn't say my father is confined to the home. I take him to lunch or dinner at least once a week, often twice, despite the fact that he has very low endurance and requires extra assistance to do so. None of my sisters has ever done this for him, even when he had more strength to help himself several years ago.

I think you just don't want the inconvenience of traveling to your sisters house, and you just don't care for her.

Well, you're half right. I don't care for her one bit! But this has nothing to do with the inconvenience. I don't mind doing things for my father. Today, for example, he wanted me to take him and my sister to lunch. She had requested going to lunch with him in several emails last week, and so I agreed to go, though it was definitely not something I "wanted". My sister refused to go at the last minute, so it was just me and my father.

My father cannot travel to my sister's home; it would require a flight or a very long drive, and he has the endurance for neither. His endurance for any sort of outing is limited to about 90 minutes (and falling steadily), so even lunch is getting more difficult. However, I plan to take him to lunch as long as he continues to want that. I would have no problem driving him somewhere to meet my sister, but that might not be best for him. Again, it's not really a matter of convenience for me.

Since you care for your father, you should give the same respect to your sister or any other family member, and answer any questions she has about her father. If all this is not possible, then I would suggest training someone who could take him to her house or watch him at his house while he is with his daughter, and you would have to pay for it (or loose that pay, since you are not caring for him at the time). Do you have someone you could hire just for this, to keep the peace between you and your sister, and father. I would imagine that not wanting to answer her questions, and making her angry in your fathers presence, is not fair to your father either.

You are also correct that this is not fair to my father. I try to facilitate visits from my sister and then get the hell out of the way, in order to avoid situations that might upset my father. However, I also do not trust my sister to be alone in my home. This is not a matter of withholding information about my father, but my wife and I have lives apart from my father's, and I don't want my sister nosing around our things.

We do have private care givers, but their sole mission is to take care of my father's personal needs (hygiene, meals, etc.) when we're not around, and I don't think it is fair to expect them to deal with my sister, either. Yes, she grills them whenever she comes for a visit, looking for things that I'm doing wrong with his care.

The reason I asked about supervised visitation is because I think it sometimes works best in situations of divorced parents who simply cannot get along. I'm trying to find the best way to facilitate visits by my sister without paying a huge personal cost, emotionally.