Never been married, want to go back to school in another state

[zippytippy]

I have never been married to my child's father but I did sign a paternity agreement and he is paying child support. My child is now 14 months old. There is no formal visitation or custody order in place.

He has been visiting the child about once a week for the past year but is now demanding that the child stay with him two times a week, overnight. I assume he is setting things up to file for custody.

If we end up in court, what are my chances of having a clause put in that will state that I am allowed to move away if I get into graduate school in another state? What are the chances of me being able to move if this actually does happen and no clause is in place? Does going to school hurt my chances for custody (make me a less fit parent)?

Is it possible for me to leave the state right now, before a custody order is in place? I have been wanting to move for some time. It would not be out of spite for the child's father.

[mommyof4]

The chances of having that clause put into the order are pretty slim.

No, it does not make you an unfit parent to go back to school. Conversely, going to school does not mean that the father of the child deserves to have his child moved out of state, limiting the time he gets to spend with the child.

Yes, you can move now. However, if you do so (especially as the father is involved with the child) expect the father to file with the court to force you to return the child to the state/county.

You will have to convince the court that it is in the CHILD'S best interest to be moved away from his/her father.

[milspecgirl]

is there not a grad school there you can attend?
It is very possible that a judge will order the child not leave the jurisdiction.
And if they do let you move, be prepared to pay the tranportation expense for the child to visit and to allow for longer visits. 1/2 summer, etc.
Even if you move now- if he files to establish custody/etc until you have residency in the new state (30 days to a year depending on the state), he will file in the original state as you are not yet a "resident" of the new state.

Sometimes when you have a child you have to adjust your plans for yourself for what is good for your child. I can't see how mom going to grad school is better for the child than a close relationship with the father. That is what a judge is going to want to know. How are things so much better for the child where you are going that it overpowers the father?

[moburkes]

The father can have custody, with you having visitation. That way you'll have more time for studying.