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Rights for disabled parents?
HI, I feel like I am in a really bad position, and I need help. (The custody side is the most important, but the judges actions in the financial part are relevant).
I have extensive illnesses that prevent me from working, though I am able to take care of myself and my daughter (and we live with my parents). My doctors have provided info. that I unable to work, but I can still manage daily activities.
My ex husband owes me tens of thousands in arrears, and he makes about $100,000/yr now. Our custody time is 42% with her dad, 58% with me (though he takes far less). And he currently pays $300/month in child support (way below guideline). My lawyer and I filed for child support modification over 6 months ago. His income was verified by his pay stubs and W-2. I had no income. But my ex demanded to impute me for $4000 a month. They suggested that my illness was not real (despite concrete diagnoses described by my doctor).
And we had also filed contempt charges for payments he withheld over the past couple of years.
The judge refused to rule on the matter of child support, said to refile. He refused to give us a long cause, saying there was not enough evidence and that the facts were in dispute. He denied me all attroney's fees, even though we had to discover his new income (it had nealry doubled) during and Order of Examination. He even denied attorney's fees for future child support motions.
My lawyer said his rulings were very unusual and we thought he may be biased because of the contempt charges (which I understand judges don't like) or because of my illness.
My lawyer filed a motion requesting asking why he would not rule, and he responded with a refusal to explain.
Finally, my lawyer felt like she could not help me without having to charge a lot, and it was clear that I could never pay her. So now I have no attorney.
I have refiled with DCSS, and support modification is in motion there, but my ex wants us to go before the other judge first.
My ex is requesting a vocational evaluation, to see if it's reasonable to impute income. I understand that I need to do that, but they have stated on more than one occassion (and even in moving papers), that if I am found too ill to work, they do not believe that I can effectively parent such an "energetic" child. Previously they specifically said that if I would not drop my protest to impute income, they would have to question my parenting ability. (And I'm desperate for money at this point, so dropping my request for child support, isn't a realistic option).
So now I am communicating with my ex's lawyer myself. And when i expressed concern that they would use the medical information from the vocational evaluation to attack custody- he just repeated "well, she's a very energetic girl..." And assured me that no mediator would do anything like give me only one day a month.
I feel like I have to comply with what they're asking, but at the same time, that will jeopardize my daughter's stability (she is doing very well, but she would be extremely upset if she had to go to mediation again and deal with that.) So I feel like I'm being put in a position where I have to turn over my medical information, prove to the evaluator that I can't work, knowing that they are going to use that information to challenge my parenting time if they don't like the outcome of the work evaluation. It's causing me serious anxiety to try to figure out how to handle this, and that aggravates my existing problems. I feel like thye are putting pressure on me purposely because they know I have health problems.
I have no lawyer, and no means of getting one. The local pro-bono school is booked until next year. And, the judge has already denied me attorney's fees. And it's clear the judge has some issues with me, and going before him for a custody issue is just terrifying.
But there is so much at stake here, and it seems to me that there should be some protection for parents with disabilities- but I can't find any codes addressing that.
I am really nervous- this judge clearly doesn't like me, and I don't feel comfortable at all dealing with this alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, please!!
I have extensive illnesses that prevent me from working, though I am able to take care of myself and my daughter (and we live with my parents). My doctors have provided info. that I unable to work, but I can still manage daily activities.
My ex husband owes me tens of thousands in arrears, and he makes about $100,000/yr now. Our custody time is 42% with her dad, 58% with me (though he takes far less). And he currently pays $300/month in child support (way below guideline). My lawyer and I filed for child support modification over 6 months ago. His income was verified by his pay stubs and W-2. I had no income. But my ex demanded to impute me for $4000 a month. They suggested that my illness was not real (despite concrete diagnoses described by my doctor).
And we had also filed contempt charges for payments he withheld over the past couple of years.
The judge refused to rule on the matter of child support, said to refile. He refused to give us a long cause, saying there was not enough evidence and that the facts were in dispute. He denied me all attroney's fees, even though we had to discover his new income (it had nealry doubled) during and Order of Examination. He even denied attorney's fees for future child support motions.
My lawyer said his rulings were very unusual and we thought he may be biased because of the contempt charges (which I understand judges don't like) or because of my illness.
My lawyer filed a motion requesting asking why he would not rule, and he responded with a refusal to explain.
Finally, my lawyer felt like she could not help me without having to charge a lot, and it was clear that I could never pay her. So now I have no attorney.
I have refiled with DCSS, and support modification is in motion there, but my ex wants us to go before the other judge first.
My ex is requesting a vocational evaluation, to see if it's reasonable to impute income. I understand that I need to do that, but they have stated on more than one occassion (and even in moving papers), that if I am found too ill to work, they do not believe that I can effectively parent such an "energetic" child. Previously they specifically said that if I would not drop my protest to impute income, they would have to question my parenting ability. (And I'm desperate for money at this point, so dropping my request for child support, isn't a realistic option).
So now I am communicating with my ex's lawyer myself. And when i expressed concern that they would use the medical information from the vocational evaluation to attack custody- he just repeated "well, she's a very energetic girl..." And assured me that no mediator would do anything like give me only one day a month.
I feel like I have to comply with what they're asking, but at the same time, that will jeopardize my daughter's stability (she is doing very well, but she would be extremely upset if she had to go to mediation again and deal with that.) So I feel like I'm being put in a position where I have to turn over my medical information, prove to the evaluator that I can't work, knowing that they are going to use that information to challenge my parenting time if they don't like the outcome of the work evaluation. It's causing me serious anxiety to try to figure out how to handle this, and that aggravates my existing problems. I feel like thye are putting pressure on me purposely because they know I have health problems.
I have no lawyer, and no means of getting one. The local pro-bono school is booked until next year. And, the judge has already denied me attorney's fees. And it's clear the judge has some issues with me, and going before him for a custody issue is just terrifying.
But there is so much at stake here, and it seems to me that there should be some protection for parents with disabilities- but I can't find any codes addressing that.
I am really nervous- this judge clearly doesn't like me, and I don't feel comfortable at all dealing with this alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, please!!
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