joint legal custody in Arkansas

[ar_mom]

I live in Arkansas and I'm seeking a divorce. My soon-to-be ex has agreed (at least last he said) to joint legal custody with me being the custodial parent. He is giving me a very hard time though by demanding to have a say in "everything" in our two boys lives. If I don't involve him in every decision, he starts threatening all kinds of legal action including fighting me for custody. I don't mind consulting him on some things but it seems outrageous to me to have to consult him before every little decision can be made.

Every reference I can find only says major decisions but I can't find anything to tell me what major decisions are. Basically, he says that I have to consult him on every decision regarding our boys. Is there anyone that can tell me what decisions he has to be involved in and what I can decide on my own?

This came up because I let my 17 yo cousin keep the boys while I went to the store for one hour. He is a responsible teenager who plans on becoming a youth minister. He told me that I'm not allowed to leave the boys with him ever. There was no discussion involved - he just demanded that they not be left with him without any reason except he didn't give his permission.

Thanks!

[rini]

parenting plans

hello

my suggestion to you would be to devise a detailed parenting plan that specifically outlines all of your concerns.

If there is no reason for your nephew not to watch the child(ren) then perhaps he should have to explain this to the courts (why he specifically does not want this person to care for child)

here is a web site that gives example parenting plans that you can alter to protect your childrens and your sanity.

they specifically outline or can cover just about anything including your right to have any responsible persons care for your kids.

www.deltabravo.net/custody

go to the articles section and look for sample parenting plans

review and make one up that you think covers your situation.

you can cut and paste in word adding or cutting what you need or dont need

rini

[ar_mom]

Thanks!

Thank you for the help.

[elklaw]

I think his behavior is kinda extreme since you did leave the kids for just one hour with a relative who is responsible. I do not know what to tell you because you have someone who is obviously sensitive and threatened in some way. My suggestion is to be careful and act reasonably and if he gets too crazy, go to court and ask them to tell him what joint custody is and to counsel him on appropriate parental behavior.
I also suggest that you talk with a local attorney because I think you are dealing with a person who is not going to be pleasant to deal with, so be careful.

[ar_mom]

RE: joint legal custody

Thanks for the information. I have contacted an attorney - the complaint for divorce came in this week on Monday. He went to his attorney on Thursday (at least that's what he said he was going to do). He's always been a controlling person and I feel now he's trying to control me through the kids because he can't control me directly any longer. LOL, I'm divorcing him because he isn't a pleasant person to deal with - it's always been "his way or no way".

It has calmed down though - evidently in the county we live you automatically get a restraining order when you file for divorce. Thanks for the advice......hopefully our attorneys will help work out a viable solution. It's living through the interim that's driving me crazy.....but the restraining order does help.