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Safety in Relationships

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  • cyjeff
    replied
    On Tuesdays... that is when they serve the Lowfat Blueberry and Nanner Muffin.

    Leave a comment:


  • xena
    replied
    Originally posted by cyjeff View Post
    Considering that this post is over 2 years old, the chance that the original poster will ever read your post is roughly akin to standing behind Elvis at Starbucks tomorrow morning.
    So that's where Elvis has been, at a Starbucks?
    Xena

    Leave a comment:


  • cyjeff
    replied
    Considering that this post is over 2 years old, the chance that the original poster will ever read your post is roughly akin to standing behind Elvis at Starbucks tomorrow morning.

    Leave a comment:


  • dana934
    replied
    Move to Hawai`i?


    In response to Kimberlee's post #219:
    Hawai`i is one of those places that have widely different value for men
    and for women. Your husband would likely be very much happier there than you would. Native Hawaiians sometimes say "No Hawaiians, no aloha," to which i say "Plenty Hawaiian men, still no aloha." The men of Hawai`i are generally a bunch of very large babies, and i don't mean only Native Hawaiian men; men come over from the mainland, spend a couple of weeks, see the amount of bs the women are used to putting up with and, at some level, decide it would be a whole lot easier to move to Hawai`i than to grow up. Both of my cat sisters died in agony there (and i hope you'll accept my heartfelt sympathy on the loss of Ono and the birds) because of the infantile self-centeredness of three Hawaiian men -- one a crook, one a kidnapper
    and one who let a pair of vicious dogs roam at will over miles of territory where he knew there were cats, smaller dogs, mongooses, et al. When i was hospitalized, the hospital staff stole seven of the then-new, gold colored
    dollars, my watch and some other things from my packet of belongings, which was kept in the nursing station safe. The men there are contemptuous of women and think nothing of draping an arm around the shoulders of any unwilling woman they can find. If you can both appreciate and give aloha; if you vote for a full range of options for people of color, women, and children & teenagers; then the place for you is the northern California coast.

    Leave a comment:


  • Tracey
    replied
    Safety in Relationships



    Kimberlee wrote:
    I think you're right, Tracy. Ask me at -40, with only 4 hours' daylight, and you might get a "Heck yeah; let's go *right now*!" LOL ~Kimberlee
    When we moved here from Minneapolis, the three days that the movers
    packed us out were snowy and never got above 10 degrees. The only way
    I made it through those days were to keep thinking 'I'm going to be
    in Hawaii in five days. I'm going to be in Hawaii in five days.'

    Tracey

    Leave a comment:


  • Tracey
    replied
    Safety in Relationships



    Kimberlee wrote:
    I think you're right, Tracy. Ask me at -40, with only 4 hours' daylight, and you might get a "Heck yeah; let's go *right now*!" LOL ~Kimberlee
    When we moved here from Minneapolis, the three days that the movers
    packed us out were snowy and never got above 10 degrees. The only way
    I made it through those days were to keep thinking 'I'm going to be
    in Hawaii in five days. I'm going to be in Hawaii in five days.'

    Tracey

    Leave a comment:


  • Kimberlee
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    I think you're right, Tracy.
    Ask me at -40, with only 4 hours' daylight, and you might get a "Heck yeah;
    let's go *right now*!"
    LOL
    ~Kimberlee


    "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    Kimberlee wrote:
    He's also a little overwhelmed, trying to figure out whether to buy,re-build, rent, or scrap it all and leave Alaska altogether (I'm nota big fan of this idea, but the idea of moving to the Big Island isappealing to him).
    Well, I'm with Skip. Ask him if he wants a little help in the 'giving Kimberlee a push' department. :P
    I suggested a couple of days ago that we just simply stay put where we are for the winter, then re-examine our options later in the winter. I think we're trying to make too many big decisions right now, and I know that *I'm* overwhelmed.
    That's probably a good idea. Although, trying to decide whether to move to Hawaii in the middle of an Alaskan winter is probably not the *best* time to make that decision. LOL Tracey

    Leave a comment:


  • Kimberlee
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    I think you're right, Tracy.
    Ask me at -40, with only 4 hours' daylight, and you might get a "Heck yeah;
    let's go *right now*!"
    LOL
    ~Kimberlee


    "Tracey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    Kimberlee wrote:
    He's also a little overwhelmed, trying to figure out whether to buy,re-build, rent, or scrap it all and leave Alaska altogether (I'm nota big fan of this idea, but the idea of moving to the Big Island isappealing to him).
    Well, I'm with Skip. Ask him if he wants a little help in the 'giving Kimberlee a push' department. :P
    I suggested a couple of days ago that we just simply stay put where we are for the winter, then re-examine our options later in the winter. I think we're trying to make too many big decisions right now, and I know that *I'm* overwhelmed.
    That's probably a good idea. Although, trying to decide whether to move to Hawaii in the middle of an Alaskan winter is probably not the *best* time to make that decision. LOL Tracey

    Leave a comment:


  • Tracey
    replied
    Safety in Relationships



    Kimberlee wrote:
    He's also a little overwhelmed, trying to figure out whether to buy,re-build, rent, or scrap it all and leave Alaska altogether (I'm nota big fan of this idea, but the idea of moving to the Big Island isappealing to him).
    Well, I'm with Skip. Ask him if he wants a little help in the 'giving
    Kimberlee a push' department. :P
    I suggested a couple of days ago that we just simply stay put where we are for the winter, then re-examine our options later in the winter. I think we're trying to make too many big decisions right now, and I know that *I'm* overwhelmed.
    That's probably a good idea. Although, trying to decide whether to
    move to Hawaii in the middle of an Alaskan winter is probably not
    the *best* time to make that decision. LOL

    Tracey

    Leave a comment:


  • Kimberlee
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    Oh, I have my days; believe me! There are days when I'm not
    amazing--rather, more resembling something the cat drug in!

    You know, the one thing it all comes back to for me is love. We've been so
    blessed throughout both ordeals, and we always have had options. The
    morning after the fire, our driveway was packed with people who'd come over
    to help. They brought food, coffee, clothing, socks (!) tools, gloves,
    shovels, rakes, and lots and lots of hugs and love. We're still getting
    offers of help from people we don't even know. I've worked with so many
    clients who were isolated, afraid, alone with no support, to know that I'm
    very, very fortunate! I didn't work for 2 weeks after the fire, but when I
    would stop by the office to check on mail and messages, my office was always
    stacked with donations from the community. What has meant the most to me
    were the loving cards we received from people; kind words and love, from
    complete strangers. In the big scheme of things, that is so much more
    important than "things." It bolstered my hope for our country, and
    strengthened my faith in God. And of course, I have my husband. When I
    first received the call, neighbors and EMS workers feared that Skip was
    trapped in the house.

    In comparison, this tragedy is easier to cope with on some levels because my
    best friend is here to talk with, to share with, and to cry with. The last
    one, he was so loopy on morphine he wasn't much help <grin>.

    The first 2 months after the fire were easier for Skip than for me. I was
    so totally lost and grieving so much the loss of our birds and beloved dog,
    Ono.
    Now I think he's struggling more than I am. We're staying in a small
    apartment (again, blessed by acquaintances who called us 3 days after the
    fire and said "We have an apartment we were going to rent out in about 6
    weeks--why don't you stay there for a while until you get on your feet?").
    He feels displaced, though, because he doesn't have his own "space" to bring
    projects home and putter. He's also a little overwhelmed, trying to figure
    out whether to buy, re-build, rent, or scrap it all and leave Alaska
    altogether (I'm not a big fan of this idea, but the idea of moving to the
    Big Island is appealing to him). I suggested a couple of days ago that we
    just simply stay put where we are for the winter, then re-examine our
    options later in the winter. I think we're trying to make too many big
    decisions right now, and I know that *I'm* overwhelmed.

    And laughter, dear. Appreciating the gift of laughter for the gift it is!
    ~Kimberlee

    "Caren" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected] om...
    "Kimberlee" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    Oh, it's been a busy summer! Our house burned down in April...so we've been trying to figure out
    what's
    next! Work is going well--keeping busy, but finally getting my energy back. Life is well...we are blessed. How're things in your neck of the woods? ~KimberleeYou have got be to kidding! Kimberlee, how are you doing? And how is your husband doing? You are an amazing woman, after being through your husband's ordeal, your house burning down and still feeling blessed. Bless you!!! ((((((((Kimberlee))))))))

    Leave a comment:


  • Caren
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    "Kimberlee" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    Oh, it's been a busy summer! Our house burned down in April...so we've been trying to figure out what's next! Work is going well--keeping busy, but finally getting my energy back. Life is well...we are blessed. How're things in your neck of the woods? ~KimberleeYou have got be to kidding! Kimberlee, how are you doing? And how
    is your husband doing? You are an amazing woman, after being through
    your husband's ordeal, your house burning down and still feeling
    blessed.

    Bless you!!!

    ((((((((Kimberlee))))))))

    Leave a comment:


  • urf
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    We are blessed as well. My #1 son is moving into a new house around the
    corner from
    us next week. #2 son moved a few months ago. #3 had us all out to his condo
    in
    Hoboken a few weeks ago. All 3 granddaughters are in fine health and love
    their
    poppy. I seriously thinking about retirement and Estelle is working for
    someone
    else for the first time in 30 years. I miss her around me all day but I love
    seeing
    her when she comes home. It reminds me of when we first met.

    "Kimberlee" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    Oh, it's been a busy summer! Our house burned down in April...so we've been trying to figure out what's next! Work is going well--keeping busy, but finally getting my energy back. Life is well...we are blessed. How're things in your neck of the woods? ~Kimberlee "urf" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
    Hello stranger. Where ya been?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kimberlee
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    Oh, it's been a busy summer!
    Our house burned down in April...so we've been trying to figure out what's
    next!
    Work is going well--keeping busy, but finally getting my energy back.
    Life is well...we are blessed.

    How're things in your neck of the woods?
    ~Kimberlee



    "urf" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    Hello stranger. Where ya been? "Kimberlee" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]
    Safe, to me, means nurturing. Even if flaws are pointed out, they should be pointed out in a
    nurturing,
    kind way; not in anger, not to gain control. Sometimes folks find flaws in order to manipulate, control, disparage,
    and
    brow beat. ~Kimberlee "Caren" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] om...
    Here I go again. This is a topic that my husband just doesn't seem to understand. I have tried countless times, explaining what it takes for me to feel safe in this relationship and he seems to find flaws with it. I have told him what makes me feel unsafe and he finds flaws with that too. For some reason it isn't making sense to him. Either I'm not explaining it in a way that he understands or he is manipulating me. I am very curious as to what men and women in this newsgroup define as safety within a relationship. I am also curious to hear what makes folks feel unsafe. Thanks.

    Leave a comment:


  • urf
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    Hello stranger. Where ya been?

    "Kimberlee" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    Safe, to me, means nurturing. Even if flaws are pointed out, they should be pointed out in a nurturing, kind way; not in anger, not to gain control. Sometimes folks find flaws in order to manipulate, control, disparage, and brow beat. ~Kimberlee "Caren" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] om...
    Here I go again. This is a topic that my husband just doesn't seem to understand. I have tried countless times, explaining what it takes for me to feel safe in this relationship and he seems to find flaws with it. I have told him what makes me feel unsafe and he finds flaws with that too. For some reason it isn't making sense to him. Either I'm not explaining it in a way that he understands or he is manipulating me. I am very curious as to what men and women in this newsgroup define as safety within a relationship. I am also curious to hear what makes folks feel unsafe. Thanks.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kimberlee
    replied
    Safety in Relationships

    Safe, to me, means nurturing.
    Even if flaws are pointed out, they should be pointed out in a nurturing,
    kind way; not in anger, not to gain control.
    Sometimes folks find flaws in order to manipulate, control, disparage, and
    brow beat.
    ~Kimberlee


    "Caren" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected] om...
    Here I go again. This is a topic that my husband just doesn't seem to understand. I have tried countless times, explaining what it takes for me to feel safe in this relationship and he seems to find flaws with it. I have told him what makes me feel unsafe and he finds flaws with that too. For some reason it isn't making sense to him. Either I'm not explaining it in a way that he understands or he is manipulating me. I am very curious as to what men and women in this newsgroup define as safety within a relationship. I am also curious to hear what makes folks feel unsafe. Thanks.

    Leave a comment:

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