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Love who you want - just be careful before you trust them

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  • Love who you want - just be careful before you trust them

    I am 15 and am dating a 36 year old. I used to frown upon this until I truly fell in love with this man... as everyone says you'll be in love so many times and He doesn't really care about you. What happened to following what you believe in ? What happened to follow your heart? When someone falls in love with somebody they can truly feel it. I can't stand the thought of someone not being able to love the person they truly care about. Why judge a person because they've fallen for some younger/older then they are? Nobody is perfect and not everyone is out to get people. Some people truly mean it.

  • #2
    First, this post is three years old. The original poster is now 17. Posting to old threads is frowned on.

    Second, whether you believe me or not, the answer I gave to her applies to you as well. There are NO reasons why a 36 year old would be dating a 15 year old that does not reflect very, very poorly on the 36 year old. I'm not saying what you feel isn't real; you're only a child (yes, you are) and it's easy to fall in love when you're 15. But looking at *him*? - the BEST thing would be if he were such an immature, poorly developed emotionally, man/child that he couldn't get a woman his own age to look at him. Because any other reason is literally dangerous to you. I'm not talking about just your getting your feelings/emotions hurt eventually - I'm talking about actual, physical, bodily harm.
    The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding and enforceable contract or CBA says otherwise. If it does, then the terms of the contract or CBA apply.

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    • #3
      I work with teenagers and I have heard it before. The truth is, that as someone in their 30's, someone who is 15 is just not attractive nor ready for the kind of relationship someone twice your age would be looking for. No amount of love compensates for those logistical matters. A 36 year old should be well into their career, possibly with kids, looking to have them soon, or decidedly against the idea. Most 36 year olds are starting to look seriously at planning for retirement, not thinking about getting that first job in a few years. At 36, one should own a home, or be in a stable housing situation, not under their parents' roof because the law says they must be. You still have several years of schooling ahead of you and should be looking forward to things like prom, Homecoming, that English test next week, and what college you might like to attend. That is light years away from what this guy is thinking about. Even as far as friends go, his have kids your age and do yours want to hang out with a guy old enough to be their father? Not to mention being on the same page as any other couple when it comes to religion, politics, family involvement, morals, values, interests, etc. Love/Feelings is only a very small part of the equation.
      I post with the full knowledge and support of my employer, though the opinions rendered are my own and not necessarily representative of their position. In other words, I'm a free agent.

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      • #4
        Are you possibly looking for a Father figure - sometimes young people look for someone or find someone older who treats them well & treats them like a parent would. They just believe it is adult love & you aren't an adult.
        Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

        Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by BertyMarie View Post
          I am 15 and am dating a 36 year old. I used to frown upon this until I truly fell in love with this man... as everyone says you'll be in love so many times and He doesn't really care about you. What happened to following what you believe in ? What happened to follow your heart? When someone falls in love with somebody they can truly feel it. I can't stand the thought of someone not being able to love the person they truly care about. Why judge a person because they've fallen for some younger/older then they are? Nobody is perfect and not everyone is out to get people. Some people truly mean it.
          I do not doubt that one bit, Berty. But are you willing to throw away the rest of your teen and high school years for a man? If he really cared about you he would be urging you to stay in school until you graduate.

          One thing I want to mention, is the simularity between stuff like this and Hollywood. Remember "The Little Mermaid"? She was 15 and followed after a man. Well, bad news is, this is real life, not make believe. Once you get knocked up and preggy, there is no turning back. I have seen this before. Man gets girl preggy, and either he splits or gets arrested for statutory rape. In fact a friend of mine had just that happen to him. She was swearing up and down, "I'm 19! Really! I am!". The rest of us guys look at her and her body and we're like, "dude, don't go there!" He did and he parents nailed him for statutory rape- she was 16.. He got a number of years in prison, and when you're in prison for that, life is very very hard. His sentence was doubled because of fights he ended dealing with because of his conviction, his life ruined.

          Is his life worth ruining for your juvenile emotions? Is your life worth ruining for his sexual and lustful desires?
          Both of you need to grow up. A relationship like what you two want is not attainable at this time for either of you. It's not a matter of caring about yourself, it's caring about your spouse/mate. THAT comes first.

          This ain't Hollywood, this ain't "Little Mermaid", this is the real deal. You need to listen to your parents. closely.

          Betty I don't know how to split & move threads, and I think this one could use both. Could you do it for me, please? this really should be in a different thread.
          I don't believe what I write, and neither should you. Information furnished to you is for debate purposes only, be sure to verify with your own research.
          Keep in mind that the information provided may not be worth any more than either a politician's promise or what you paid for it (nothing).
          I also may not have been either sane or sober when I wrote it down.
          Don't worry, be happy.

          http://www.rcfp.org/taping/index.html is a good resource!

          Comment


          • #6
            Since we got so many posts replying to this user, I will put the question in it's own thread. Betty3
            Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

            Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

            Comment

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