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Can his ex really do this? What are our chances!? Ohio

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  • Can his ex really do this? What are our chances!? Ohio

    My fiance's ex is trying to take time away from us just because he works long hours. She is taking us to court and asking for the right to first refusal and is asking to modify the pick up times (on Thursday and Friday) from after school (both Thurs and Fri) to 4:30 on Thursdays and changing Friday pick up to Saturday pick up at 9am. She says that he is left with me during visitations instead of spending time with the father. She thinks she can do this because my fiance had worked Friday evenings until 10pm. Can she actually win this!? Doesn't he have a right to have a relationship with me!? Isn't it understandable that he has to work to provide for his family?

    We were able to get a lawyer and are now asking for a change of visitation to every other week instead of just weekends. We moved to his school district in August and he talked his boss into letting him get off work early onFridays so he can pick him up from school. He is 8yrs old and wants the every other week schedule also. How do you think this is going to turn out? If my fiance is now taking off work on Fridays and we are now in the school district doesn't that show we want more time with him?

    Oh, they have joint custody with Mom being residential parent. She isn't working because she had a baby and tried to up child support. Our lawyer was able to dismiss the re evaluation until our case is over because my fiance wont have to pay as much if he gets more time. She just wants his money and I think she is jealous because he is finally happy with me! We got engaged this summer and it seems since then she has been nothing but problems for us.

    Anyone been through this and what was the outcome?

  • #2
    While you may want a relationship with your step child, there is no "right" to spend time with you.

    A parent having first right of refusal is pretty normal. As a parent, I'd be hacked if my child could be with me because his dad was working and instead, he was with his dad girlfriend/financee/wife.

    Not what you want to hear but I've been on both sides and while getting along with the extended family is important, thats still my child.
    I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
    Thomas Jefferson

    Comment


    • #3
      I understand that I don't have rights but what about my fiance? It's his time and his son should be able to spend time with family and I am also an important part of his life. Even if you don't agree, my fiance is now looking for another job so he can be at home more. No judge is going to take time away if he is actually spending it with his father now, right? I just don't see how she can do this. If he is now living in the same school district I don't see why she shouldn't agree to this and if she doesn't does us living in the same school district now help our case? Wouldn't a judge see that his father wants to spend time with him? He may have worked long hours before but he was trying to support his family, I don't see how a judge can take time away because he is supporting his family.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yes, your finance has rights. His mother has rights. You do not. As a step parent (or soon to be step parent) you have no more rights than some stranger. It sux as a step but that is the law.

        While you may want to bond and be a family, there is no legal right that allows that. Your fiance has the right to time with his child. The mom has the right to time with the child. You dont unless the father chooses to do so. However, as I said earlier, the Mom often has right of first refusal and the courts will generally allow the parent to spend time with the child over a girlfriend/fiancee/stepparent.

        As much as you may care about the child, for your sake, the sake of the child and the sake of the next how every many years until he turns 18...accept that he is not your child.

        The more you try to make him "yours" and fight for what you feel you should have, the more the Mom is going to dig in. You have to learn to work with the Mom.

        Believe me, I've been a step for over 16 years now. I love them like they are my own but it was a long, bumpy, difficult road as the Mom and I adjusted. It was hell for a while. However, we are now on decent terms and actually agree on some child issues.

        Dont try to force things. Take them gradually. It will honestly be better in the long run.
        I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
        Thomas Jefferson

        Comment


        • #5
          Ok, we are still going to fight the right of first refusal because we want every other week visitation. She is trying to hammer him with child support because she is getting all pissy about things so hopefully this helps. While I know that he needs to pay child support, I think that 260 is ridiculous. It's not the reason we/he wants every other week but it definatly is a plus.

          Can someone please answer after all the info I have given if we have a decent shot at getting every other week if he changes his work schedule and now lives in the school district? I'm really hoping that we do because then maybe we could advert the right to first refusal. She can do with him what she wants during her time and he can do with him what he wants during his time. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

          I know that I am not the mom, but she is only taking us to court because she is jealous that we got engaged. She doesn't care for what is in his best interest. She is very immature.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Love my little man View Post
            Ok, we are still going to fight the right of first refusal because we want every other week visitation. She is trying to hammer him with child support because she is getting all pissy about things so hopefully this helps. While I know that he needs to pay child support, I think that 260 is ridiculous. It's not the reason we/he wants every other week but it definatly is a plus.

            Can someone please answer after all the info I have given if we have a decent shot at getting every other week if he changes his work schedule and now lives in the school district? I'm really hoping that we do because then maybe we could advert the right to first refusal. She can do with him what she wants during her time and he can do with him what he wants during his time. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

            I know that I am not the mom, but she is only taking us to court because she is jealous that we got engaged. She doesn't care for what is in his best interest. She is very immature.


            Not a chance unless Mom agrees. 50/50 timeshares are rarely ordered without agreement from BOTH parents.

            And please do yourself a favor - stop dissing Mom. Your fiance chose her as prime parenting material, and she at least deserves some respect from he ex's new partner. Your attitude can hurt your fiance's case. Seriously.

            Assuming Dad and Mom live close enough together, Mom stands a great chance of getting ROFR.

            Comment


            • #7
              Our lawyer says we can fight for every other week but we are hoping to get her worried enough that we could win that she'll just settle to save from fighting. Also, could the fact that she has a baby and is not working help our case? She is trying to up child support so I think she is just wanting more money and more time with him so that she doesn't have to work. Do you think that could help?

              Comment


              • #8
                Das ist in der Doktor!

                Originally posted by Love my little man View Post
                Our lawyer says we can fight for every other week but we are hoping to get her worried enough that we could win that she'll just settle to save from fighting. Also, could the fact that she has a baby and is not working help our case? She is trying to up child support so I think she is just wanting more money and more time with him so that she doesn't have to work. Do you think that could help?
                You should be asking your Attorney that question,
                if you have to pay for advice,
                …perhaps you’ll follow it.
                Good Luck.

                ..__________________
                ~ Helping rid the world of stupidity,
                …starting with my own.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Agree; since you have a lawyer, it would be best if you ask your lawyer
                  all your questions.
                  Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

                  Live in peace with animals. Animals bring love to our hearts and warmth to our souls.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you, and we are. I just wanted to know if anyone had gone through this and what what their outcome? I'm hoping that her having a child while not married helps. Do you know if a judge would care about that? I just want someone's experience and their outcome

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Love my little man View Post
                      Our lawyer says we can fight for every other week but we are hoping to get her worried enough that we could win that she'll just settle to save from fighting. Also, could the fact that she has a baby and is not working help our case? She is trying to up child support so I think she is just wanting more money and more time with him so that she doesn't have to work. Do you think that could help?

                      You don't have a case.

                      Your fiance has a case.

                      And honestly - you need to step way back from this. The courts do not like third parties interfering.

                      Your fiance should speak with his lawyer. And hopefully his lawyer will explain that flinging mud at Mom will leave Dad's hands dirty, too - Dad should be focusing on what's best for the child, not what's best for Dad or how awful Mom is.

                      The court won't give a flying hoot about Mom having another child. It's completely irrelevant.

                      Comment

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