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If not Emancipation... New York

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  • Rugrat0943
    Update :]

    its me again.
    I just figured id leave an update and a thank you.

    So a couple weeks after i posted the last reply, Matt decided he was going to get his permit, and move on with his life.

    Unfortunately, that never happened.
    Jack decided to take Matt's money and try to count it,
    and when he found out that matt had spent some of the 500 dollars he had,
    Jack freaked out, and called the cops,
    telling them that Matt had stolen the money from them.
    So, being the smart person that he is,
    Matt kept the reciept that he had from the bank, stating that he had withdrawn five hundred dollars.
    The cops said that Jack could either send him into emergency placement,
    or he could stay and work it out.
    Jack sent him away,
    And Matt got placed into a group home.

    Now, at the time, i was devastated.
    But ive had some time to think about everything and get my head straight,
    and ive decided that its not something to fret about.

    Its close to February, and i can wait for it :]

    Thank you for all your help,
    and for everything youve done for me.
    I think ill update on this in a little while,
    probably after his birthday.

    Thank you, once more.

    Leave a comment:

  • Rugrat0943
    Thank you.
    for at first giving me the harsh truth,
    and then being a bit more compassionate in letting me down with it.

    I know im a legal stranger to him.
    Unfortunately im going to have to deal with it.
    Thank you to all of you who helped get that across to me.
    I really appreciate it.

    I guess ill have to let the pieces fall where they may.
    And if anything,
    next february isnt that far off, right?
    if anything, we'll at least be able to make it to then.

    thank you again for all your help.
    ill update in a month or two to tell you how everything went.

    Leave a comment:

  • cyjeff
    Feel better?


    Now then, that doesnt' change the facts listed above.

    You are a legal stranger to the boy. You have no say in what, if anything, happens to him or for him.

    He can call CPS if he is being abused. We never doubted it. We just said that he had to call in the cavalry.

    Leave a comment:

  • Rugrat0943
    woahh theree.

    im sorry, but i dont exactly appreciate being treated like im some selfish know it all teen whos obsessed with her boyfriend.

    Yes, maybe some of my statements are selfish.
    But dont i have a right to that?
    Im allowed to be emotionally attatched to him. And thats exactly what i am.

    Im not saying that he cant leave.
    He can if he wants.
    im saying i would prefer it if he didnt,
    and he feels the same.

    I also said the same school district because if he leaves this late in the school year, he will most likely get left back again.

    Im sorry if it came across to you like i was a selfish person,
    but i assure you, im not trying to be.

    Im just saying that if there is another way around this,
    whichever way that may be, it would be preferable.

    This incident was reported, by multiple people, including myself informing the school nurse about it.

    I know i shouldnt ask if i dont want to hear the answer,
    but you shouldnt assume when my intentions are nothing but pure.

    Im glad i heard your answers, and im glad you answered honestly.
    But i would very much appreciate if you didnt jump to conclusions and think that i want him here all to myself.

    All kids think there are loopholes.
    Because all of us either havent been face to face with the hardships of life yet,
    or this situation is the start of that.
    When you're patient and treat all of us like the first person who has ever asked about a loophole,
    we'll understand it better than you all getting frustrated at us having a little bit of hope for a bit more of a sane world.

    I am completely satisfied with your answers,
    but i just havent been online.
    If you dont want to believe that he was abused,
    then dont.
    theres no way i can convince you of that.
    I know that when you may type answers to hopeful kids on these forums,
    you may not think everything is true.
    But then again,
    which kid in their right mind would make up some ridiculous story about something to get law advice from a website?
    they have other people to complain to if they want attention.

    By the way.
    Whoever sent me that wonderful private message, about their concern and compassion towards both of our well beings,
    I really appreciate it,
    and i've informed him of that situation.
    I would love to hear from you again,
    as you held some true insight on opening my eyes to what might happen.
    Matt and I have spoken about what you wrote,
    and a DSS caseworker is coming tomorrow morning, and then they are going to family counseling.
    Thank you So much.
    That was the example and scenario that i needed, and it has truly had an impact on me.
    I look forward to hearing from you again.


    Leave a comment:

  • cyjeff
    It is also worth saying that YOU, as the girlfriend, are a legal stranger to this boy.

    In other words, your opinion of his situation and the outcome that should result are equal to the opinion of a person randomly chosen off the street.

    Actually, less. Because you are too young, too involved and the girlfriend... no one is even going to let you speak.

    He needs to be in foster care. Sorry, they will not provide you with a list of addresses so you can pick the one you want him to have.

    Leave a comment:

  • panther10758
    And these kids wonder why we are so judgmental

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Rugrat0943 View Post
    In the same school district,

    This is still a very selfish statement. You say he is being abused but you won't be satisfied with our answers unless we give you something that states he can stay in the same disctrict so YOU can see him.

    So either the Abuse is not there, or else you are really that selfish and would rather have him stay there, and not have the incident reported just so you can still see him.

    Leave a comment:

  • cbg
    You've been given your answer; you just don't like it.

    CPS. Foster care.

    No. There is no loophole.

    Leave a comment:

  • panther10758
    Why do all you kids think there is a loophole somewhere there isnt! If there is abuse then CPS should be involved outside of that nothing can be done and certainly not by you!

    Leave a comment:

  • Rugrat0943
    to be completely honest,
    i dont want him to live with me.
    that ruins a lot of relationships, even serious ones.
    I know i may have said that, but now that its re-said, i realize that thats not really a reasonable option, if an option at all.

    I guess im kinda asking what he can do instead of emancipation.
    Like, i dont know. If Jack was out of the picture, just gone,
    then that would solve everything.

    And no, the mafia will not handle that for me. trust me, im italian, i know how things work.

    I just dont know what the legal standings are.
    i mean, i just want him to be okay.
    he doesnt have to live with me, just out of that house.
    In the same school district,
    but away from Jack.
    In a safe environment, where he wouldnt have to strive nonstop to make a living, like all emancipated minors have to.

    ++ Im soo sorry about the novel type thing i had going on.
    I probably should've shortened that.
    its just hard to, because i dont know if theres anything i Can do,
    and if so,
    what would change what i can do.

    There has to be a loophole somewhere.
    Last edited by Rugrat0943; 04-19-2008, 03:34 PM.

    Leave a comment:

  • panther10758
    So in short the OP wants the minor emancipated to live in her home for selfish reasons

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  • cbg
    If that is the question, the answer is, sorry, not gonna happen. There is NO WAY a court is going to order a teen to be sent to live with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend.

    Not an option. Foster care, maybe. Group home, maybe. With his/her boyfriend/girlfriend? Not even close to possible. Shut down that thought right now, cuz it's a no-starter.

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Rugrat0943 View Post
    Now, matt and i are a very serious couple. and from the time being that he was punched by his father, to today, he has not forgiven Jack, and Jack constantly threatens to put a "cease and assist" order on my mother, because the abuse was reported by our nurse and counselor at our school. [understandably, what should they do if someone comes in with a black eye?]

    This constant threat not only makes my home a hostile environment, but now that me and matt are limited to two and a half hours a week, at the most, to see each other, putting a cease and assist, whatever that may be, would, as i was told, keep us from seeing each other at all.
    Jack wants place this order on our family because he is convinced that we are "hindering his ability to parent" matt, and he is completely against my parents.
    My parents, for my safety, have forbidden me to visit their house, and Jack doesnt see the problem with why i am not allowed to come over, as if i am not a primary target to unleash his rage of my parents on. .

    I am asking for some help.
    What to do now, how to be there for matt,
    and what he can do to get out of his house, and into another home.
    Not necessarily a foster home, because not only are there no other foster homes in our school district, but being pulled out of another house, after 16 consecutive houses have kicked him out, would do alot of mental damage on him, and for a person that loves him, i dont know what to do for him.
    His Court order is up as of May 26, our six month,
    and if jack is up to what i think he is,
    he will try to get that extended,
    or he will forcefully rid matt of my family, and me, consequently, completely.
    We are, unfortunately, the only real family that matt has ever known, and it is heartbreaking to hear him say that he wants to live as a real family in my home, and not as a broken family in his.

    That part is basically the idea of it.

    The Boyfriend had a fight with his father, his father supposidly punched him.

    The Op now wants to find a way to get the boyfriend out of his father's house. She stated she doesn't want Emancipation, and doesn't want him to go to another foster family because then they wouldn't see each other. Basically she wants to know how her family can get the boyfriend to move in with them.

    --To which I say, if he is being abused, like a poster mentioned call CPS or the Abuse Hotline. And allow them to go from there, as there is nothing YOU can do.

    Whether he gets removed from his home or not is up to them. If he gets put in foster home, even if its not in one in the same school district than you isn't it better that he is removed from the Abuse, instead of staying there just so you can see him?

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  • cbg
    If you want someone to give you any help, you are going to have to help us.

    Your post is next to impossible to read. Shorten it, break it down into paragraphs, using white space between them, and you may get some answers. The volunteers here do not have time to wade through something as difficult and as long as that.

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  • panther10758
    I am not reading through that novel you just wrote. Can you shrink it to under 500 words!? Ok I will say this NY has no statute for emancipation and if there is any suspected abuse contact CPS their National Hotline is 1-800-4-A-CHILD

    Leave a comment:

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