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Being Neglected by My Parents

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  • Being Neglected by My Parents

    Hi,

    I posted in Family Law earlier... I'm 17 and I think I'm being abused by my parents. But I'm not sure if what they do is legally abuse. I know it is for me, because it hurts me and it's nearly ended my life on a few occasions.

    My parents essentially ignore me. The only time they acknowledge that I exist is A. when they want something done for them, or B. when it's convenient.

    My stepdad goes for days, sometimes longer, without speaking to me. My mom never tries to have any meaningful conversations with me... It's just 'go make me some popcorn... go take out the trash...' And my half-brother, who is 7, hits me and scratches me and throws things at me on a daily basis and my parents practically reward him for it. I can't fight back... When I fight back my parents yell and a few times my stepdad has hit me for it.

    I've tried to kill myself twice. My parents don't know, because I stopped before I could finish it. I only made it through a third of the pills and then I got scared. I feel so empty inside... And I don't want to be empty anymore.

    I want to leave my parents and go somewhere with people who will love me.

    Is what they do neglect? Is what they do illegal? Can I get away from them? Can I save myself? Please, please help me, I'm really scared and I think next time could be the time I actually do kill myself. I need help.

    Please help me!!!

  • #2
    Seek counceling

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE seek counseling. I know it may feel like abuse, however, it sounds like a case of poor parenting. I went thru a similar childhood. I felt alone and depressed. And yes, I tried to hurt myself. God was with me and I never followed it thru. God is there for you as well. He listens to your tears, your pleas and your prayers. That is why you are still here. What I have learned (through talking to my parents about my childhood) is that parents tend to repeat the mistakes of THEIR parents. So, perhaps your parent's parents were neglectful or fail to communicate with them. Sometimes parents get caught up in just trying to make ends meet that they do not realize how they are emotionally neglecting their children. I have children and I make a conscious effort to spend time with them and not repeat the same mistakes that my parents made. It is no excuse for their behavior or lack there of, but it might be the case. Talk to your counselors at school, get into a mentoring program, after school activities or a big brothers/ boys club program. If possible talk to your parents about how you feel. They might be receptive to what you are saying. Believe it or not it will get better. You can not change others, but you can change your way of thinking. Please do not hurt yourself, because life is too precious. Pray!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      You are 17. You can file a motion to requesting emancipation. Be aware though, that once you are emancipated, you will need essentials in life, housing, food, ect. Be prepared to live the life of an adult. What they are doing is not against the law and does not fall into neglect in legal terms.

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      • #4
        Hang in there

        I went through some similar things as a teen. What I did not know is that my "dad" was really my step dad. I did not find out the truth until I was 18 and getting ready to move out of my parent's home. It explained a lot for me though. I was always treated differently, still am. The way that I see it is that you are 17. Even if you did start the emancipation process, you would more than likely turn 18 before it ever got through the court. Please do not see this as a life or death situation. Soon enough, you will be old enough to be on your own. It is not easy being on your own but at least then you can make yourself happy. Always remember that you have a choice as to whether your parent's 'lack of' parenting will affect you negatively or not. If you are smart, you will learn from what they have or have not done. Please trust me when I say that it will be okay. If you believe in God then believe this...He will not give you anymore than you can handle. I also agree that you need to seek out a counselor or even just a responsible adult that you feel comfortable talking to.

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        • #5
          Is there any family members you can stay with? If it is to hard for you to talk to your parents try to write them a letter. Sometimes it is easier and you can write everything you want to say without getting interupted or an arguement breaking out. I found that by writing what you want to say lets you get all your true feelings out. You can even leave it for them to read before you go to school then when you get home ask her if she read it and see what she thought. Talk to a teacher at school and let them know what is going on they can get you the help you need. If your step-dad is hitting you call the cops on him. He has no right to lay a hand on you. Stay strong. Don't end your life, nobody is worth ending your life over.

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          • #6
            Well to you it is neglect, but your parents feed you and house you and are not physically abusing you or emotionally abusing you in a way that rises to the level of where legal action is required, but based on all you say, under your set of circumstances, not reacting to your past behaviors in a way may be. So I suggest seeing if there are friends or relatives where you can go live with parental permission. You also may want to visit DCF or a school counselor and explore becoming or petitioning to become an emancipated minor. BUt with your issues, maybe you should ask DCF if they can get you help and move you to a residential facility or halfway house or foster placement because trying to commit suicide is serious and it may be that your needs are not being met in the home as it is. Yoiur parents may resist this because the state may bill them for this, but if you feel you need this, go seek help from a school counselor or go to DCF yourself for help.
            Last edited by elklaw; 07-12-2005, 08:13 PM.

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