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  • Help! I need advice!

    I need advice about what to do.
    A month ago I met a man and I fell in love with him immediately. He seemed to be one of the nicest persons I have ever met in my whole life.
    However, last week I discovered that he abuses his kid. He has a boy aged 15 from another relationship who is living with him.
    My boyfriend never acted violent around me and so it was a great shock as I saw him whipping the boy with his belt as I came to meet him earlier than he expected.
    I have to add that I have not talked with my boyfriend about my seeing him abusing the boy yet...I thought this might somehow endanger me or the kid, I am not sure. But I talked to the boy secretly. The kid had welts from the beating on his back, chest, arms and he had even been hit in the face with the belt...it hurt so much to see what the man I thought I would love and wanted to build a future with had done to this innocent boy. And from what the boy told me this beatings occur on a regular basis.

    I am very confused now...I still love this man and don't know whether I should leave him or try to stay with him. But what is most important, I want to help the boy, but I am unsure what to do. As far as I know the boy's mother is in prison for some drug related crime and I don't know of any other relatives he has and I could try to send him to...but I also cannot take him with me...I am a stranger and have no rights compared to his father...so how could I help him best?

    Oh, and I live in Lousiana

  • #2
    Answer

    Please go to the authorities and report him. If you love him as you say you do what you need to do to get him help.

    Question? If you son or daughter was going to walk out in front of a moving vehicle would you stop them from hurting themselves if you could?

    God uses people and circumstances to help others from themselves. Just as Jesus said forgive them they not what they do.

    Maybe your boyfriend really doesn't know what he does. But you know what he does is not right. Don't wait till its to late.

    May God Bless you and I know you will do the right thing.

    Comment


    • #3
      Help! U decide?

      Hi, I live in La also. So I understand your feelings and thoughts of helplessness. If the man your with is capable of hurting his own children he will deffinatly hurt you too. You have not seen all of his sides yet ask the little boy what daddy is like they will tell you. And if he never does raise a hand to you, what about the children you want to have? Are you going to risk the well being of your future children for a man? There are so many men that want to love and have a family of there own. Call O.C.S. and NEXT him. Its the truth deal with it. Sorry to be that blunt.
      Jul

      Comment


      • #4
        I have talked to my boyfriends son today I didn't want to go to the authorities without speaking with the boy first. He really freaked out...apparently he had been in several children's homes and with foster parents before and some of them seemed to have given him a bad time, too...He begged me not to do anything but I just can't leave him like this. From what he told me his father had at least beaten him twice this week...

        He just told me stupid things like he deserves these beatings because he has been bad and that he is okay and stuff like that. But it is so obvious that it is not okay...so should I call the authorities against his will? I don't think that talking to his father would change anything...but I just don't want to leave this guy without helping the boy...

        Comment


        • #5
          U need to help !!!

          If you live in La, you are going to wait for ever for any help where I am every thing is almost at a stand still. I think you should help the little boy. Document his bruises. Take pictures. Keep them safe. Go to O.C.S. in person find out what to do. Go to the police station and ask advise what you CAN do. And if O.C.S. shows up present them the pictures.
          And where is the childs mother? Why is she also letting this happen?
          Jul

          Comment


          • #6
            His mother is a drug addict...and at the moment she is in prison as far as I know...so she won't be of any help.

            Comment


            • #7
              none

              I hope and pray you will listen to your heart and take action against what is not right.

              Comment


              • #8
                Just a thought

                You know, it may help more to find a Christian church and ask for help. Churches often do counseling for the community at no charge, and if the father thinks he is just discipling the son (some people get out of hand with "discipline" ) then the church would probably be able to help more than the state. A baptist or presbyterian church would be the best choices to turn to for help.

                Comment


                • #9
                  help i need advice!!

                  Originally posted by NKanonymouse
                  I need advice about what to do.
                  A month ago I met a man and I fell in love with him immediately. He seemed to be one of the nicest persons I have ever met in my whole life.
                  However, last week I discovered that he abuses his kid. He has a boy aged 15 from another relationship who is living with him.
                  My boyfriend never acted violent around me and so it was a great shock as I saw him whipping the boy with his belt as I came to meet him earlier than he expected.
                  I have to add that I have not talked with my boyfriend about my seeing him abusing the boy yet...I thought this might somehow endanger me or the kid, I am not sure. But I talked to the boy secretly. The kid had welts from the beating on his back, chest, arms and he had even been hit in the face with the belt...it hurt so much to see what the man I thought I would love and wanted to build a future with had done to this innocent boy. And from what the boy told me this beatings occur on a regular basis.

                  I am very confused now...I still love this man and don't know whether I should leave him or try to stay with him. But what is most important, I want to help the boy, but I am unsure what to do. As far as I know the boy's mother is in prison for some drug related crime and I don't know of any other relatives he has and I could try to send him to...but I also cannot take him with me...I am a stranger and have no rights compared to his father...so how could I help him best?

                  Oh, and I live in Lousiana
                  take ur boyfriend and his son to conseling maybe it will help

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    what to do!

                    Take ur boyfriend and his son to counseling,maybe it will help. If not,then find
                    a relitive to take custidy over the kid.
                    Then 4 ur self leave him! It might be hard but
                    u don't wanna have a kid 4rm him and have him beat the kid. that'"s my advice! 2:Nkanonymouse

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Cyndi
                      Take ur boyfriend and his son to counseling,maybe it will help. If not,then find
                      a relitive to take custidy over the kid.
                      Then 4 ur self leave him! It might be hard but
                      u don't wanna have a kid 4rm him and have him beat the kid. that'"s my advice! 2:Nkanonymouse
                      I would not worry so much about getting this horrible person into counseling.

                      The only thing you should do is call and report the father for viciously beating his child. Of course, the child takes the blame and wants to protect his father. He has been conditioned to think that way. Look at it this way. If you do not get this boy out of there, how will you feel when his father hits him a liitle too hard, and KILLS him???

                      Report the abuse. Your boyfriend is NOT a kind, loving wonderful father. He is a weak, small, evil coward who beats on his child because he knows that if he tried to take his anger and frustration out on an adult his own size, he would get his *** kicked!!!

                      REPORT THE ABUSE. Stop worrying about the child beater. For all anybdy should care, he can rot in a small, dark hole. The boy deserves the chance to live a life without bruises, broken bones and pain.
                      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                      (unique up on him)
                      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                      (same way)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Would there be any chance that if it was reported (the right thing to do) that you and the child, since he is 15, can request for you to receive some kind of guardianship? Normally doesnt the next of kin get choice to take custody of a child before they are sent to foster care? and since there seems to not be any, maybe you can be that foster care home for him! Especially if the judge and caseworkers will listen to his desires and take them into consideration. Please do all you can to help this boy. I would have to say something to the BF and let him know that he should turn this innocent child over to you or you will make his life hell! Then, once he agrees, take the boy and still report his sorry butt! And by all means, no matter how "nice" he is toward you, im sure its only temporary! Watch your back around this creep and do what you can. I will keep this boy in my prayers, and you as well.

                        Comment

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