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husband falsely accused me of domestic violence

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  • husband falsely accused me of domestic violence

    Need help. My husband is a drug addict on crack and has been for a long time on july 13 2005. me and my husband got into an argument and my brother in law who lives on the first floor came up to try to calm my husband down who was coming after me he did not hit me but he would of if my brother in law was not there. my brother in law took me into his apartment and called police on his brother. they came and talked to both of us they told my husband he should leave but they could not make him he said when his mom got off of work he would have her come get him. they asked if i would be willing to leave for awhile. and stupidly i said i would. i took my daughter and we left i drove to my mother in laws house to see if she was home and she wasn't and i realized my daughter didn't not have her inhaler, so i went back home and me and my husband started arguing and he said ok i will fix you, he said i will get the ball rolling so i get part of this house.so he picked up the phone and called the police and said i hit him which was a lie. so they came back and they didn't even want to hear me. he said 3 times i hit him and he was high and they new it. so they took me outside and hand cuffed me. i have never been in trouble in my life. i spent 5 hours in a cell. and went to court the next day they say i need to come back for train in August. I am scared they say that i can't get a court apponited attorney and i have no money a house bills up the ying yang and a crack head husband. i am not gulity and very scared i don't want to go to jail for this. where can i turn for help???? Can my husband go to the court and drop charges?? LIKE HE SHOULD and if he does will i still have to go to court and maybe go to jail. I don't have money for a lawyer i don't know why they think i do. I need help and have zero dollars. Should i go back to the court with all my bills and show them everything. Please help thanks kathtth

  • #2
    response to falsely accused

    i think that you should first try to have your husband drop the charges and if that doesnt work bring up his drug use, use any police reports that you may have against him, and bring in testimony from witness' like his brother of his abuse of you and drugs.i found this website i hope it can help you, members.aol.com/spaa98/ and heres the email address [email protected]
    goodluck

    Comment


    • #3
      I am actually going through something like that only drugs aren't an issue. My husband has verbally, emotionally, physically, and mentally abused me for over a year and I never called the cops because I knew he would go to jail for sure. I made the mistake of telling him that in Colorado if someone calls the cops then the other party goes to jail. He hasn't been coming home after work and when I ask where he has been he gets all irrate...well he came home late again and I asked and he blew up. Threatened to take my kids so I would never see them again so I threw my keys at him and he called. I went to jail and now have no home, haven't seen my kids in days, and nobody is forcing him even though the judge said I could see them. I am not allowed within 100yds of him or my house. I was allowed back one time to get some clothes and that is it. Now he is playing the victim and refusing to let me see my children. I can't have an appointed attorney because I am not facing jail time. I feel for you and wish I could help you with some advice but so far I have just hit brick walls with everything. This state is messed up and I think that they have gone overboard in some cases when it comes to DV. I have never had any sort of record and yet the court system is treating me like I just killed a bunch of people.

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      • #4
        I suggest filing charges against him, then going to court and citing his drug abuse and domestic violence history and tell the court that he is using the court and playing the system, and ask that you receive protection from him since he is going to lie on you and falsely accuse you of things you never have done. You may also want to file for legal separation and divorce, and address these matters and other matters in court since it does not sound like much hope of reconciliation.

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        • #5
          domestic violence protection has gone overboard...

          I agree that woman and sometimes men need to be protected from bullies; but I think that aspect of the legal system in this country( im in florida, but have heard similar in other states). In my case my ex spouse and I got in some heavy arguments and we finally split up; after we made up after a cdouple of weeks we were even intimate, after another fight she finally left, a few months later I agreed to transfer our car to her name, we went together, she later came over my place to pick something up. a few days later she told me never to call her again and that I should give up my rights to the baby, she was pregnant. a few weeks after that she filed for divorce, and to my surprise she filed a restraining oeder for protection against DV; the judje dismissed it due to no cause, but I stupidly contacted her by letter to see if she needed anything, after no response I sent her a lenghy e mail trying to apologize and reconcile with her, she took these letters back to the judge and they imposed a 1 year restraining order. after that I had no info on the condition of my wife or the baby, when the baby was born she refused to agree to let me see the baby even in the hospital; I had t file an emergency hearing for visitation, when I went to court my ex cried domestic violence and restraining order and the judge barley let me talk- she ordered supervised visitation! that means I could only see my daughter 1 day a week(if there are no cancellations) and only for 1 hour, when the baby cries( she was 3 months old when I finally got to see her) they watch me like a hawk. I am being treated like a criminal even though I have no criminal record, Ive had a hard time finding a lawyer who is interested in the case, and after I pay the retainer they dont do much at all, I fired 2 att. already just so I could get the case moving. Now my ex is pushing for sole custody even though she has an unstable past (30 sexual partners inthe last 15 years, 30 jobs, she moved 7 times in 6 years, she had a few episodes of violent rage where she attacked me by pounding me with her fists, once purposely ramed my car with her and she was taken to jail for it- however I had the charges dropped she got no record). and so on Im not perfect but have a stable career, I actually have primary custody of me son, and I love my daughter very much but I can t even hardly see her if she gets sick or something happens nobody will even notify me, most of these problems are because of an unjustified restraining order, what can I do, I feel like ive been marked for life, even when I call an attorney or speak with a court official I am looked upon with suspicion as soon as I mention restraining order. does anyone know how these laws can be modified, they are obviously being abused and used for ulterior prposes, If I could I would like to start some kind of movement against-" restraining order abuse" ed

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          • #6
            nippernk

            I know just what you have been through, I don't have any way of dealing with this either, Men seem to be natural outlaws now days. They are not even allowed to defend themselves in court. I have my wife recorded on a 911 call that I got when I called the police on her, witnesses, police reports, of her constant abusive behavior, and the court rejected them, they are irevalant to the charges. The police even made me leave my house because my wife was upset and angry (turn that around and see what would happen) I told them this is my house, if she has a problem with her anger and can't behave, then she should leave, They told me to leave or go to jail, I pleaded with them and I was being arguementative and resisting(it's my house) They were acting like the County Hit Men. Filling their own Ego's. They have stepped over the bounds of Protect and Serve by helping a known criminal. (they know what DV is, it works both ways) First you acuse and the abuse, sure enough when I came home, I was acuse of cheating on her, The police came again after she had trashed the house and put all of us through a living Nightmare and put me out again, and encouraged her to get a restraining order on me and they would help her,(they knew the judge and what to say to HER) Mean while the kids had to help her clean the house and it was Daddy's fault for making Mommy upset. Women who commit DV don't act like Men who commit DV, They are much more aware of getting the police invovled to do their dirty work. They will play , Little Miss Innocent he's hurting me) and Bamm, you have instant County Thugs to the rescue. These type of women know how to play Men even Police to get what they want, They are trained from early on in live. I would dare say that most of these women don't have jobs or any real job skills, so they learn to work the system playing on other sympathy to get a hand out for the day, Why Not They have Billions of Dollars in Support, and riding the backs of real women who are truely abused, I really Do Not like Men who are abusive and will not support then in any way. I really think abusive people are the scum of society. But Men are always in one catagory and Male Bashing can be somewhat funny, It isn't funny when women use it an undertone to abuse men. The Courts has played a major role in encouraging DV against Men, Using Bad Men as a Platform to convict All Men and to make No distinctions Between the two. They themselves are guilty of DV by their use of power, and to create funding and job security in their communty. They(the police) Claim to arrest women to, but only when they are wild out of control and drunk on their butts. Women Know it is essential to remain somewhat calm when the police show up and they can say anything they want, If you think of a good enough lie, and have someone(the police) thinking they are Mother Terisa, Then a man has no chance in hell to the truth. These people are paid with the Tax dollars we give them, an yet they are not accountable for their own actions( it's not my fault, It's the systems) They are the systems! Abused men are easy to convict, They are Honest hard working People of our community, They contrbute when possible, and really only ask they they can have alittle Love and Kindness when they come home. Who do they think shaped this country anyways, No they are an Enimy because they are different then women, These Abusive Women can care less what a guy has to go through in a Day, just to bring home the Bacon, and becuase we have to do this to provide for our family, we are still threated like fair game, less then a maingy dog. Most Women start a relationship with Traditional veiws in mind, and they spend the rest of their relationship trying to change all of that and pretend that it doesn't happen. Liars! I am constantly reminded of the words HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORN, everybody knows the saying, but the Courts Pretend it doesn't exsist. It's like the neighborhood bully walking down the street and see's a dog tied up and then starts kicking the fence tormenting the poor thing until the chain breaks and trys to bite the boy or girl, and People want the dog destroyed because of what it did. The Bully comes out smelling like roses, even some Money in it for him. Yes the Leaders of our community are just as Guilty Of DV for their lack of involvment, even the Police and the Judges for turning their heads in time of need. Sorry this is so long, I am a Victum of DV also, so like anyone else, Who Cares RIGHT! Thank You!

            Comment

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