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Need some advice!!!

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  • Need some advice!!!

    I am very angry and confused about the justice system today. I am from Texas and I am going through a very messy divorce. I am a victim of family violence commited on me and my family by my soon to be x-husband. We have a now 2 year old son, that I am trying to protect from him.. He recieved limited visitation, only 18 hours a month but, he has recently assaulted my mother at a visit and the police say there is nothing to be done about it. I am very afraid for my son's well-being, my husband is a violent man and it seems that unless he kills or seriously injures me or my son there is nothing I can do about it. We have been going through this divorce for over a year, my attorney tells me to hold on. I am tired of holding on, one day it may be too late... desperately looking for some answers... Does anyone out there think they can help..? please write...

    Helpless and Afraid in TX

  • #2
    helpless and afraid

    well your husband has limited visitation already, is it supervised? is there a restraining order in place to keep him away from you and your family members? my exwife put a restraining oeder on me and I have supervised visitation with my daughter, I feel for me it is unfair because there was no real physical abuse involved; I think she is just bitter and scared. it sure is effective though I would not dare go near her or her family for fear of being arrested and losing my visiting rights completely and other legal problems it would cause. also have you asked yourself why he is so bitter with you and your family? is he like this with everyone ?, probably not otherwise he would be in jail. I can tell you it is very difficult for a father to have limited visitation with his son or daughter. please dont get angry with me but have you ever asked yourself how you would feel if you could only see your child 18 hrs/ month? hope this helps ed

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    • #3
      helpless and afraid reply

      Well, I am sure having limited visitation is very rough, but there are good reasons to have it. He can only thank himself for this condition being set on him. I do not know your situation but, courts only give supervised or restricted limitations if needed. He is not able to care for his son the way he should, he has no one else to blame for this but, himself..... I am not very impressed with your reply. A mother or father should think about the consequences of their actions, have you thought about that? Why act like an irresponsible father and then turn around and expect full visitation. It is not in the best interest of the child, he has no reason to be angry at me or my family. He can thank himself for everything he is experiencing. Thanks for your advice, it is dually noted....
      Helpless and Afraid

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      • #4
        helpless & afraid

        well I dont know what your ex did to you or your son; but I can tell you in my case the supervised visitation is not justified the courts were wrong on this one. I love my 4 month old daughter just as you love your son; if truth be told my ex actually was more guilty of DM than I was; what if your spouse in a fit of rage began to pound you in the face with his fists, on another occasion what if he ramed your car with his and was taken to jail, and then noble you- you have all charges dropped, and then he turns around and files a restraining order on you saying he fears for his life, and they impose supervised visitation and you could only see your son 1 hr per week(if no cancellations which there usually are) how would you feel?? just turn it around yes my ex wife beat me with her fists(it didnt hurt much because she is small- but it was scarry), yes she ramed me with her car, and yes they imposed supervised visitation onle because there is a restr order no other reason, and why is there a reastr order? because she ezxaggerated all our arguments and sais she was afraid of me(bull- she came over to have sex with me a few weeks before, also she met with me so I could sign over a car to her name) so dont tell me the courts only impose injunctions and/or supervised visitation when its neede- that is very false. sorry if I offended you but I think there is alot of injustice done to fathers in our court system. yes im against a man bullying a lady, ill be the first to call the police, I even tried to intervene once when a guy was beating up a lady in her car, and guess who cussed me out? yes it was the little lady. we live in a twisted culture, and its leaking into our justice system- many time good fathers are not even allowed to protect their daughters from abusive boyfriends of the mom. I dont know what your ex did, but if you're just angry at him or you really need to protect your son from him- only you know the truth. all I know is I have a 17 y/o son and I was awarded primary custody after many years of his mom accusing me and taking advantage of me, and now (since she doesnt get any child support, doesnt even visit her son sometimes ) I have to encourage mom and son to talk and have a relationship, sometimes the courts are wrong and sometimes moms are wrong and sometimes the father IS the jerk. ed
        Last edited by edmann; 07-29-2005, 01:14 PM.

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        • #5
          For starters, report to the court that your mother was attacked during supervised visitation and seek a no visitation and no contact order regarding you and the child by the family court and maybe an order of protection is a good idea. Also have your mother make a police report regarding this too. These are suggestions. You have to decide what to do.

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          • #6
            You need to e-mail me

            I served as a legal advocate for the domestic violence courts in arkansas and as a law enforcement instructor for several years on the statutes of the law. contact me at my e-mail address... I have some information that might help. You can e-mail me at tonette.cartwright @ arkansas.gov

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