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Please help my 4 yr. old daughter!

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  • Please help my 4 yr. old daughter!

    I live in Wisconsin. My four year old girl has been sexually abused. Our law enforcement agency in town will not help her. They all say I have to wait until she is older and talks more about it. I called every agency in our town and they are all turning their backs to her. Now I found that her biological father whom she has visitation with got a runaway pregnant was she was 14 and he was 41. They also had another baby together when she was 16. She turned 18 this month and the father is 44. My daughter still see's this person 3x week. I called the police in our town and they said they do not investigate these kinds of complaints unless the girl herself files a complaint. This couple is still living together with the two kids and my daughter goes there for visitation. I need help for my daughter! Does anyone know who I can call about this? Can this man get into trouble for getting a fourteen year old runaway pregnant if they are still together?

  • #2
    At this point, the runaway is 18 so there is no crime. You are concerned about your daughter, but she is not being harmed and it seems the ex is living in a family environment. You may want to be careful, so you are not considered obsessed and having a mental disorder. It is not optimal, but at this point there is nothing illegal going on with her father either.

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    • #3
      wasn't she abused?

      You said your daughter WAS sexually abused. It would seem there would be something or someone out there to help if that is the case. What agencies have you contacted so far? (besides law enforcement)

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      • #4
        IN--I am not sure about the daughter being abused because she went on so much about the father being with an underage girl who is now 18. IF the daughter was abused and she wrote about that, I might think differently but I think this is upset about what the father did and him getting away with it.

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        • #5
          My daughter

          I have contacted our Children's Advocy Center in town, pathways of courage and our crisis center. She even was checked out at our local ER. Because she is so little and not really talking about what happened yet--nothing is being done. All say she is being abused but we have to wait until she is more verbal until something can be done. She starts counseling this Friday.

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          • #6
            That just doesn't make any sense! The ER confirmed the abuse? And nobody will do anything? If that is the case, then I guess all offenders can just narrow their prey to anyone under 4 to be able to get away with it. That is absolutely ridiculous. I really wish I knew more, I only wanted to respond to show you some support. Maybe someone here will look into this further for you & give you some helpful advice. My thoughts & prayers are with you. I know that I would not just give up if I were you. Keep on until you find someone to help you!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by KAF
              I live in Wisconsin. My four year old girl has been sexually abused. Our law enforcement agency in town will not help her. They all say I have to wait until she is older and talks more about it. I called every agency in our town and they are all turning their backs to her. Now I found that her biological father whom she has visitation with got a runaway pregnant was she was 14 and he was 41. They also had another baby together when she was 16. She turned 18 this month and the father is 44. My daughter still see's this person 3x week. I called the police in our town and they said they do not investigate these kinds of complaints unless the girl herself files a complaint. This couple is still living together with the two kids and my daughter goes there for visitation. I need help for my daughter! Does anyone know who I can call about this? Can this man get into trouble for getting a fourteen year old runaway pregnant if they are still together?
              comic sans MSgreenI have read your posting and I completely understand your worry. Though I live in Texas, I also have a 4 yr. old daughter and we are going through the same turmoil. Not only has she endured countless 'unexplained' injuries, female related problems, but 2 different physicians have both noted she has no hymen (all following times of visitation with her father). CPS became involved following Dr.'s formal report, but closed case without ensuring all steps were followed through. Because he is so angry that CPS investigated, not to mention so vindictive anyway, he is now attempting to modify decree. Of course, I have been forced to retain legal counsel which is forcing me into bankruptcy and could likely force my parents into the same....all due to a child's lack of rights to be protected as well as a parent's lack of right to protect. The 'System' IS this warped!!!

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              • #8
                If it was me I would just stop sending her for visits and let him take you to court for contempt if its court ordered. then when you go make sure you take the ER and any Doctors records of the abuse to court with you, then they have to listen. I know where your coming from my children where abused by ther father he was charged with the oldest daughter, was found guilty in a bench trial, appealed and conviction was overturned and remanded back to the county for a jury trial but deputy prosecuting atterny refused to take it back to court so he got to walk. As far as CPS your right they arent the best. When they started there investigation of the sexual abuse they asked him to leave the home till they finished there investigation. Then they informed me if I alowed him back in the home they would take my kids for failing to protect them. Well they finished there investigation and found it to be true so I filed for a divorce. Well the judge that did our divorce give him visitation every other weekend of our 2 youngest children and no contact with the oldest untill the leagle charges were resolved, so I went to DHS and asked them to stop the visits or supervise the visits. They informed me there was nothing they could do if the judge ordered it unless he hurts one of them. So they could take them from me if i failed to protect them but when the judged ordered the visits there was nothing i could do when i tryed to protect them. I was to wait and let him put another child thru sexual abuse before they would do anything.

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                • #9
                  hi this is babyface i understand where you are coming from about your daughter my son was 2months old and was done by his father. but as a mother i got a lawer and he help me with mine. i also was rape at the age of 15 and had a baby that is now 15 him self these people that has been rape or sexually asulted is bull **** that nobody wants to do any thing about it but if need some one to talk to i would be more than happy to talk to . keep your head up and if u need to dont let her go back to her dads and let him take u back to court and take all your paper work that u have with u and the judge will have to listen to u. god bless u and your little girl and i hope that something good will come out of this for u.

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                  • #10
                    I can help you if your child have been abused

                    My name is Jacqueline I work every day with victims of abuse. I live in Indiana but my ministries is International. You may e-mail me @ [email protected]. Thank you.

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                    • #11
                      Advise

                      Our son is now 7 going on 8. He made his out cry at age 3, we went straight to authorities. SANE exam done at the local hospital where he had to be totally alone with the RN's doing the exam and he told them what happened but with little guys it can be harder to SEE evidence! We spent thousands in court and attorney fees, we lost because the county in Tx in which the abuse happened drug their feet on getting it into the Grand Jury (2yrs), so our court that we were in for custody and visitation denied our requests for even supervised visitation, the judge even seeing the evidence. Our sons therapist coming to court didn't help. So you know what we did, you can't runaway its against the LAW, but I am managing con. so we moved 4600 miles away, with the military. This got our baby out of the situation, and now he still suffers major depression, PTSD, and has night mares, but he is safe. We are back in Tx with the military again, but his docs tell us the reason he doesn't remember or talk about it anymore is because he has supressed those memories. Which I can't say I don't blame him, who would want to remember those horrible things. I feel for you and your child, but listen you have to make a stand. Every state is different, look at your orders, if you are able to move with out the courts permission then do IT! Get the child out of the situation of getting abused, then out the child in therapy where you move. You still have to notify the other party where you are, but you know what in our case we moved from Tx to Alaska, thats a long way away, and just see if he'll come there to abuse that child! Right! Our son is protected also because we live on post and I really don't give a rats *** what the order says he can come here to see him, but I will never allow overnight visitation, EVER! Our case is a little different now though, he has to show that he has the training to care for our son because he has many medical conditions. Plus The MP's here if he tried to take him my hubby being an Officer we will just pull out all our records from the Police reports and SANE exam and they will make him leave or arrest him. Plus we know he carries POT around with him along with a gun in his car so they would get him on that.

                      For you, please please please protect your baby. There are legal ways to do this. Even when the system fails. If you can move make that decision. We sold everything, I mean everything and moved away. It was the best thing we ever did for our son. He is in a safe place now, he knows this, he gets scared when my hubby has to go away on military things but he knows on post we are safe. Plus DADDY bought us 3 Dobermans and they protect their family! He is old enough now to at least understand these things. But keep in mind Therapy will be an ongoing thing for your child. Find a good Play therapist they have a way with little guys and can get them to talk. Another thing sometimes children like ours are good prey, this is how the courts put it to us, because they honestly love the person who is abusing them and they are scared to tell anyone, his father told him that he better shut up about it or he would go to jail. I actually recorded this conversation on the phone with the little device the police told us to use, but guess what the judge says we couldn't use it in court because the other party has to know they are being recorder! LOL I said well if he would have known that he wouldn't have said it. Anyways keep your faith, everything will be ok. OK. Keep fighting and know that no matter what God is on your side. From Someone in Texas who cares!

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by KAF
                        I live in Wisconsin. My four year old girl has been sexually abused. Our law enforcement agency in town will not help her. They all say I have to wait until she is older and talks more about it. I called every agency in our town and they are all turning their backs to her. Now I found that her biological father whom she has visitation with got a runaway pregnant was she was 14 and he was 41. They also had another baby together when she was 16. She turned 18 this month and the father is 44. My daughter still see's this person 3x week. I called the police in our town and they said they do not investigate these kinds of complaints unless the girl herself files a complaint. This couple is still living together with the two kids and my daughter goes there for visitation. I need help for my daughter! Does anyone know who I can call about this? Can this man get into trouble for getting a fourteen year old runaway pregnant if they are still together?
                        Try to call the coalation against domestic violence or a nearby shelter for women. If your daughter can talk get her talk about what happened to her. I know it might be hard. But for her future protection try. Also try the hotline listed in most phonebooks violence against children. your local office of family and children may be able to assist you. where you (would apply for food stamps) they have social workers who specialize in rape against kids. also check to see if the runaway is reported missing. he may be charged if visible evidence is found of harboring a runaway and even stautory rape if the runaway is a minor. most importantly your child, ask your local department of family and children for assistance or the local baterred womens shelter.
                        good luck and GOD BLESS

                        Comment

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