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what can i do? New York

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  • what can i do? New York

    I have been married for almost 7 years and I have 2 young children from this marriage. My husband goes through rages daily and has been physically abusive to me on two occasions in the past. I did not report it or tell anyone out of fear of him. We tried to talk it out and now he has become increasingly abusive verbally to me in front of my children. What proof is there when there is verbal abuse? Last night he came to bed angry because my 2 year old was sleeping with me becauase he was scared. he turned in the T.V. and turned the volume way up. I asked him to turn it down and he became enraged. He said that it was his room and if i didn't like it to get out. Called me the worst name a man can call a woman and then told me to place a body part in my mouth. I got up with my child in my arms and he threw a large pillow at me and hit child. What if it wasn't a pillow within his reach. What proof can I get of verbal abuse?

  • #2
    Why do you need proof of verbal abuse?

    Contact a domestic shelter to speak to a counselor on your best options of getting out.

    I'm more concerned about your and your children's immediate well being than I am about a future custody dispute. Get out now, THEN start working on the legalities of divorce and custody.
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)


    • #3
      I agree you need to go to a shelter or call someone to get the information you need. I don't know what part of NY you are from but you can contact Alternatives to Domestic violence and they will guide you. I did a google search and a bunch came up in Ny, I am just not sure where you are. Get out as fast as you can because this will continue to happen and will get worse. Trust me I have been in your situation. He is going to swear to never do it again, but he will. Good luck to you and your children. Please let us know how you are doing. Read this poem as well

      “I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.

      We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.

      I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said because he sent me flowers today.

      I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any special day.

      Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.

      I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.

      Last night he beat me up again, and it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.

      But I know he must be sorry. Because he sent me flowers today.

      I got flowers today. Today was a very special day.

      It was the day of my funeral.

      Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.

      If only I had gathered the courage and strength to leave him.

      I would not have gotten flowers today”.


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