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Step Parent Abuse Virginia

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  • Step Parent Abuse Virginia

    My wife's ex has joint custody and visitation. He is remarried and has a 2 year old with his new wife. My wife's daughter (my step daughter) is now 10 and communicates extremely well and is very intelligent. There has been mental and verbal abuse by her father and stepmother for quite some time now. Things have gotten progressively worse....For a while, she saw a counselor in order to help her deal with what has been happening. However, the counselor moved to another state so the sessions stopped. We've been reluctant to try any court proceedings for fear that it could make things worse, and we don't want to put our daughter in the middle of things and force her to testify possibly.

    Most of the abuse is the result of the stepmother, and has gotten worse...to the point where I think action needs to be taken now ....Beating animals, pushing down her own child in order to maker her cry, pulling hair and pinching this same child, slapping this child across the face, putting this child in extended time out for wearing the wrong clothes, spanking this child because it uses wrong words....And the child just turned 2! There was also an incident where the stepmother left her child (then 1) at home alone while she took our daughter to school.

    Our daughter spends extended periods of time in her room while her father is on the computer. Recently, she went to tell him good night, and she was exposed to very graphic pornography, including oral sex.

    Our daughter has complained to her father about what has gone on, and thus far, the father has taken is wife's side and accuses her of lying or embellishment. For example, when she told her father about the time she left the daughter home alone, he accused her of lying and punished her. Because she has complained to her father about what has gone on and because my wife has spoke to him about issues many times over, we feel that now, the stepmother is taunting and mentally abusing our daughter.....Most often when either the father isn't around or in another room. For example, during a recent trip to Target, the stepmother pulled the 2 yr old's hair to make her cry (while the father was in another isle) and then blamed our daughter. When our daughter said the opposite, she was accused of lying. I could go on and on with like stories.......

    Any suggestions on how to legally get either joint custody changed, or some type of intervention? A friend of ours said that social service won't do anything unless it's physical abuse and marks are found on a child. Not sure if this is accurate or not.

    Needless to say, we are very concerned about what's happening, as well as our daughter's mental and and social development. I fear that she could be forever scared by some of these actions. We'd love to have custody changed and/or visitation radically amended, but we're concerned that our 10 yr old may have to testify against her father. However, we also know that this can't continue. She has recently threatened to run away while at his home and even went as far as to point out a spot where we could find her if she were missing. We've documented everything that has happened via e-mail, but of course, either he doesn't respond, flat out denies it, or says our daughter is lying.

    Any suggestions?? Please help.

    YP

  • #2
    If you know or suspect that the 2 year old is being abused, contact CPS to file a report. Explain that the 10 year old has often been a witness.

    It's not just the 10 year old that you and your wife need to be concerned about (although I certainly understand y'all's worry.) The 2 year old needs help just as badly and you have a moral (and very possibly a legal) responsibility to try to get the 2 year old help and protection. The 2 year old IS being PHYSICALLY abused.
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

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    • #3
      Step Parent Abuse

      Thank you for your reply. Calling social services was our first thought, but since we heard that they aren't that responsive, we were worried about possibly making the situation worse. Does anyone have information re social services....I imagine in varies a lot by state and even locality.

      YP

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Young Professor View Post
        Thank you for your reply. Calling social services was our first thought, but since we heard that they aren't that responsive, we were worried about possibly making the situation worse. Does anyone have information re social services....I imagine in varies a lot by state and even locality.

        YP
        Calling CPS is the best thing to do for a couple of reasons:

        1. It will get the ball rolling for getting help to the children.

        2. It will be the beginnings of your wife being able to prove in court that the abuse exists and she can use that and further proof for a modification of the visitation order.

        Comment


        • #5
          I agree with calling Cps. Your always going to hear about how bad they are, or how they don't do anything, but this is a very serious situation that needs to be brought to their attention before something horrible happens to either the 2 year old or the 10 year old.

          You may feel better talking to the CPS in person, if you can find the local office you would need and go in with the 10 year old so they can talk to her and get the facts of what is going on as well.

          If the 2 year old is being punched and slapped, and God knows what else, there is bound to be bruising on the child.

          That family is need of help and right now it seems you are the only one who can get that started. Good Luck.

          Comment

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