Complete Labor Law Poster for $24.95
from www.LaborLawCenter.com, includes
State, Federal, & OSHA posting requirements

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I need help. Massachusetts

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I need help. Massachusetts

    Hi I’ve been very lucky to find this wonderful site. Here’s my story. I’m from Ireland and girlfriend is American from Boston. I’ve been with her for about a year and a half now. Things weren’t easy as she was abusive and had violent mood swings. I’m not the kind of person to walk away I wanted to help her. The final straw was when she became pregnant and I wanted the baby she didn’t and it went down hill from there.
    I went back to Ireland and that’s where my problem begins. I was very foolish and angry when I got back and so I called her and said some very nasty things and you could say that I threatened her as well. It was wrong of me now she has a restraining order out against me and had it sent to me in Ireland. It states that I can’t contact her in anyway or go near here yet I’m not even in the same country right now. I was shocked that she did that and I sent her a letter and called her and in doing so violated the order. I’m wondering if anything will happen to me since I’ve violated the order. I all so wanted to know will this have any affect on me going back to the states in the future? I’d really appreciate it if any one could help.

  • #2
    You violated the order after receiving it, reading it and understanding it.

    You are in contempt of court. Violating a restraining order typically means some prison time.

    Yes, they will flag your passport.

    And "you could say I threatened her" doesn't wash... if a judge and a court thought you threatened her, you did.
    Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

    I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

    Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

    Comment


    • #3
      Did she ever have the baby? That is actually a relevant piece.

      Call an attorney in MA where the order was filed to have them respond for you. There are different levels of restraining orders. Do not "just" accept and sign the restraining order.

      Btw: I am an advocate against domestic violence, but I am extremely against people using them as part of a game. There are people out there in real danger who can not get the protection they need because of others who use them at the drop of a hat.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you for replying. I want to explain my situation in a bit more detail as it might help my case but I’m not explaining the situation in order to excuse my behaviour or actions in any way. Things between me and my girlfriend were great but over time she started to show what she’d been hiding from me which was her violent mood swings which would either end up in her hurting me or herself. She would use self harm as a threat if I didn’t do something she wanted me to do. An example of this was she once started repeatedly banging her head of the wall until I agreed to go and pick something up for her. It was hard for me at times as she wasn’t always like that and when things were good they were really good. I just wanted to help her and I never put her down in anyway. Then she started talking about suicide and using that as well against me. I really wanted to get out of the relationship yet at the same time I’ve never walked away when things have gotten tough. I should’ve walked away at the first sign trouble but I loved her. As for the question of the baby no she got rid of the baby and if really hurt me and here’s why. She started to tell me that she wanted a baby with me and this went on for awhile so we decided to go ahead and try for one. A few months later we find out that we’re going to have a baby and it was the happiest day of my life for all of 10 minutes as at that point she just goes crazy and says she’s getting rid of it and starts attacking me. That was the beginning of the end for me as I’ve never heard of anyone being so twisted she told me she wanted a baby with me then does that and she treated the abortion as if it were a game. After losing my baby I just became vacant and nothing interested me. A few days after the abortion she tried to kill me. At this point I should’ve called the police I know but being from the background that I’m from I was always told never to involve the police and it’s just kind of stuck with me. I’m not saying it’s right either. I knew she needed help and I don’t think being locked away would’ve done her any good and I all so didn’t want to ruin her future and yeah I know my problem is I care too much and put others before myself. After this I left and went back at some point and I asked her about her trying to kill me and she said “I thought it was a game” I didn’t know what to say to that one. Finally I was getting ready to just leave and she sensed this was coming so she then went on to tell her friends and family and people we knew that I’d been abusing her violently and emotionally. Then I had her family threatening me with physical violence and I’d not done anything. I would like to state that I never have hit a girl in my life and I never will. She would punch kick bite me as well and hitting me with just random items around the house. She once burnt my face with the end of a light bulb after it had heated up she came up to me while I was lying down and pressed it against my face then laughed about it. Through out all of this I’ve never even insulted her. What made all this worse was they believed her and I was treated like a leper. I think it had something to do with the fact that I’m from a poor working class background and my girlfriend’s family are rich and she goes to Harvard. So I left Boston and came back to Ireland and that’s were I did something that I’m very ashamed of. Since being back here I’ve just fell apart as I’ve had trouble dealing with being wrongfully accused of horrible acts and losing my baby as well as all the stuff she did. None of what I’ve told you can justify what I did which was to make some very nasty and serious threatening phone calls to her and her family. That’s why the restraining order was taken out on me. I did know what I was doing when I violated the order I just couldn’t believe she’d get one against me after everything she’s done. My questions are what will happen now since I’ve violated the order as I’m not in the states? Can they make me go back and face charges? Or do I have to go back willingly in order to be charged? Or will they simply just ban me from going back to the states in the future? I really hope that’s not the case as I still have a lot I want to do and see in the states. I all so think that there might be extra charges in regards to I did leave messages on their phones which is evidence. I’m really ashamed of what I’ve done and will accept what ever happens to me as there’s no excuse for threatening any body let alone a girl. Part of me can’t help think that I’m being punished though as in truth she should be in jail for the things she’s done yet it’s looking like I might be going instead. I don’t know how the legal system works over there and I don’t know where I stand I’d really appreciate it if any one could help me. I’d all so like to apologize for my long post.

        Comment


        • #5
          None of that changes my answer.

          I recommend getting an attorney in MA to help you.
          Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

          I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

          Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

          Comment


          • #6
            You really need a lawyer to respond for you in MA. Do not attempt to explain this to anyone other than a lawyer you retain. Do not simply accept the restraining order as-is. There are a lot of problems this can cause for you later down the road.

            Our only answer is going to be to talk to a lawyer and only that lawyer about this situation.

            If you don't have money for a lawyer now, just imagine that somewhere down the road, it will cost 10 times more and be 10 times worse when you realize what the restraining order did affect in the future.

            Comment


            • #7
              So how has your situation been? Have you worked everthing out?

              Comment


              • #8
                I just wanted to thank everyone who replied for their help. Here’s what happened I did go back to face the charges but it took an unexpected twist. My flight had a lay over in another state before I was due to catch my connecting flight to Massachusetts. I landed in the first state where the plane was boarded by the police who then went on to take me off the plane. Surreal would me an understatement as in then became even more bizarre as I asked why this was happening at which point they replied with” You’re in America to kill someone and at this point I know I shouldn’t have but I laughed as it was just unbelievable.

                I was then taken away searched and then they went to work interrogating me. I was given two options either agree to make a statement which they had already made out the answers for me which basically incriminated me or go to one of the local state jails. Bare in mind this wasn’t the state where I was facing charges when I asked them to tell me the charges I was facing they just laughed and wouldn’t tell me. After many hours in this cell I finally just gave them the statement that they wanted. I was then deported and given a life time ban. Rather than them deport me I asked if they could put me on a plane to the state I was facing charges in as I really did want to put things in order as I’m not a criminal. As for me being in America to kill someone it was utter nonsense.

                Over all I felt that I’d been treated badly and that the legal system in the states is well and truly flawed. The people that are there to uphold the law tend to make their own rules up as they go a long. Another thing that bothered me was the racism that I was subjected to by the homeland security officers.

                At the end of the day they were only doing their jobs going off the information that they’d been given I understand that even if it was false information.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Were you ever read the Miranda warning "an attorney will be appointed for you"....
                  Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                  I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                  Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                  Comment

                  The LaborLawTalk.com forum is intended for informational use only and should not be relied upon and is not a substitute for legal advice. The information contained on LaborLawTalk.com are opinions and suggestions of members and is not a representation of the opinions of LaborLawTalk.com. LaborLawTalk.com does not warrant or vouch for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any postings or the qualifications of any person responding. Please consult a legal expert or seek the services of an attorney in your area for more accuracy on your specific situation.
                  Working...
                  X