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Ive been accused! Ohio

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  • Ive been accused! Ohio

    Two nights ago my step daughter and i were having a discussion and the she and i got into a arguement. Well Mommy talked to her for a hour When Mommy came out and the kids were in bed she told me that she said that i tried to put my tongue in her daughters mouth. This is what her daughter said to her . Now her mommy Told her before she said anything that she was definately not getting back with her daddy, see my stepdaughter has been wanting her daddy and mommy back together and me out of the picture. Well my wife and i have been married for 6 years. Well she told mommy that she knew that they werent getting back together and still said that i tried to put my tongue in her mouth .... now my wife has told me that if we want to keep this family together then her and my stepdaughter and i will get counseling individaully. Im being accused of something i didnt do or would NEVER think of doing. What Should i do ... my wife doesnt believe me because ive lied to her about tiny little things in the past... please help need advice...

  • #2
    Originally posted by timbo29 View Post
    Two nights ago my step daughter and i were having a discussion and the she and i got into a arguement. Well Mommy talked to her for a hour When Mommy came out and the kids were in bed she told me that she said that i tried to put my tongue in her daughters mouth. This is what her daughter said to her . Now her mommy Told her before she said anything that she was definately not getting back with her daddy, see my stepdaughter has been wanting her daddy and mommy back together and me out of the picture. Well my wife and i have been married for 6 years. Well she told mommy that she knew that they werent getting back together and still said that i tried to put my tongue in her mouth .... now my wife has told me that if we want to keep this family together then her and my stepdaughter and i will get counseling individaully. Im being accused of something i didnt do or would NEVER think of doing. What Should i do ... my wife doesnt believe me because ive lied to her about tiny little things in the past... please help need advice...
    How old is the child?
    Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

    Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

    Bay

    Comment


    • #3
      She is 8 years old.

      Comment


      • #4
        ...and regardless of the answer as to age, if you want to keep your marriage together, I suggest that you abide by your wife's wishes and go to counseling.

        Even if you didn't do what you have been accused of, the fact that your relationship with your SD is fractious and you have a history of lying to your wife (therefore, having a shaky foundation for your marriage to begin with) counseling is definitely called for.

        Bay's question does have merit.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

        Comment


        • #5
          Buddy, if you and your wife don't settle this NOW, it's going to get much, much worse.
          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
          (unique up on him)
          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
          (same way)

          Comment


          • #6
            The lies in the past are "Do you have any money on you?"
            Did you mow the grass?
            These are stupid little lies..... There has never been a real serious lie.... and i guit doing that 3 years ago... i havent lied to her since i agreed to quit that.... and besides that what is a counselor going to do...?

            Comment


            • #7
              Please dont call me buddy that makes it sound like your yelling at me and you are being rude so please dont call me buddy... Im more scared of this aquistion than anyone else in the house... i have more to lose emotionally anyone else in ohio..
              Last edited by timbo29; 04-26-2007, 06:56 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                It doesn't matter what the lies were about. It can be argued that if you were lying about little things that really don't matter, then you would resort to lying about the big things that do.

                I am NOT saying you are lying now. I am explaining that once you break that trust (and for what??? to get out of an a** chewing for not mowing the grass?) it's very hard to rebuild it.

                The fact is that your wife has obviously clearly told you that she believes her daughter over you (and, some would argue, rightly so). If you want to save your marriage, you ALL need to be in counseling to figure out what each of you can do to positively contribute to this marriage and family. It's not just about YOU. It's about the family and the relationship and responsibility each member of the family has with each other.

                The counselor(s) will help you figure out 1) if this marriage can be rebuilt and 2) if so, how to do it so that you will have a healthy relationship. It will also give protection for YOU if the counselor finds that the child is lying OR vice versa.
                Last edited by mommyof4; 04-26-2007, 07:03 AM.
                HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                (unique up on him)
                How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                (same way)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by timbo29 View Post
                  Please dont call me buddy that makes it sound like your yelling at me and you are being rude so please dont call me buddy... Im more scared of this aquistion than anyone else in the house... i have more to lose emotionally anyone else in ohio..
                  Nobody yelled at you. You have a choice to make, scared or not. I'm telling you what your choice is.

                  This is a site for legal advice. If you are THAT scared of this accusation (and if you didn't do it, I don't understand this level of fear...dismay, anger, surprise, and worry, yes, but not this amount of fear) lawyer up if you think she is going to go to the police or CPS. Otherwise, go to counseling.

                  I seriously doubt that you have any more or any less to lose than every other person facing a family crisis. Knock off the drama. It only makes it worse.

                  The real question you and your wife should be concerned about at this point is why and how an 8 year old child got to the point that she would resort to this tactic if, in fact, you did not do what she has accused you of doing. There are some pretty serious emotional and/or mental disorders that need to be fully explored. This is NOT normal behavior for a child.
                  Last edited by mommyof4; 04-26-2007, 07:01 AM.
                  HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                  How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                  (unique up on him)
                  How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                  (same way)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I want my family to be together more than anything and i agreed before she mentioned a counselor... but i dont see how a counselor is going to help...and that counselor cannot release any info to my wife about my sessions anyways... so how is it going to help...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Yes, the counselor CAN release the information with your consent. Further, not only should you ALL be in individual counseling, you should also be in family counseling once the counselor feels it is appropriate to work out and air the issues affecting your relationship in a safe environment.

                      What else do you want to hear?

                      If you don't want to go to counseling, fine don't go. Kiss your marriage goodbye and be prepared for your wife to think that her daughter was telling the truth and for the 8 year old to learn that if she espouses a big enough lie, she'll get her way.
                      HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                      How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                      (unique up on him)
                      How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                      (same way)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thank you Mommyof4 i will let you know how things go in the future with counseling and my family.....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Good luck. It's going to be rough for a while, but if you and your wife are both committed to saving your marriage, it will be worth it and your relationship will be so much stronger and better able to weather any storms in the future.
                          HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                          How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                          (unique up on him)
                          How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                          (same way)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Sorry to revive a thread over one month old, but I'm wondering, Timbo, what ever happened?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Probably in Jail

                              CYA Cover Your ***!!!! You are in a situation that is simply a gamble and guessing game at what your step daughter is capable of. Add law enforcement and you are guilty till proven innocent where the child's testimony carries all the weight and sympathy. Welcome to the cruel world of being falsely accused of child abuse. There are no easy answers. I've already lived through 17 years of this nightmare and it continues. The cost of defense is beyond most individuals means. You need to educate yourself as much as possible on this subject. There are several resources of information I can give: vocalny.org fathers-rights.com pathlights.com/are_experts_realiable.htm READ>>>READ>>>READ

                              Comment

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