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Need Big Help! Missouri

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  • Need Big Help! Missouri

    Ok, Here is my story...

    Im facing a charge of felony C "Abuse of child"

    A DFS ivetagator came to my door a week ago and stated that my duagter have made a clame that I had kicked her and that she got spanked with a belt. The investagtor asked me about me kicking her and about the spanking.
    At first I didnt remember the spanking but when I rememberd I told the invesagator that I had been trying to teach my little girl how to ride a bike acouple days ago and that she had fallen a number of times so thats were I thought the bruse must have come from cuz I KNOW I never kick my daughter. and when she had did what I thought was the best she could I told her to put up the bike and go inside the house. (heres where the spaking comes in) Now, as we went in side my daughter started giving alot of auatude and being disrespectful. We have had previous problems with this. So, I went and got a belt, asked her to come into my room. I asked her to pull down her paints to just below her butt. I asked her to lay next to me a I gave her 2 taps with the belt. I didnt hit her hard enuff to leave ANY kind of mark or bruse, VERY CONTROLED. And when it was over we talked about what she did and why I spanked her. Now, I can prove that the bruse she had was from her falling on her bike, I can prove it with overwelming evidence. The inesagator said that our stories matched about the spaking but she said that the bruse on her lage was NOT a bruse cuased by a fall on a bike but when I told her what I thought happen she didnt even ask to see the bike to see if what I said could be true. She talked to my daughter twice on that same day and after all was done she let her go home with me. Next day they arested me and put a band on my little girl and girlfriend. The thing is that me and my girlfriend have been together for 10 years and my daughter is 8 and I have been in the home the tolal 10 years, I mostly rased my little girl but in 8 years not one doctor, teacher, nerse, or even family memebers have never ever seen a mark on my girl or that she has never told any one that I had hurt her. Did I mentune that she is a very out going little person, no bad self estime or anything like that. I WILL not take a plead in this case, Im willing to take it jury trail ALONE if I have to. WHAT DO I DO? what can I do.

  • #2
    You should get a good lawyer. I understand that when you are wrongly accused you feel that you should be able to just explain and go but unfortunately, the system needs help to weed out the good from the bad and it just gets mixed up sometimes.

    A lawyer who specializes in cases such as this would be best.

    Comment


    • #3
      $$$

      What hurts is that I make to much for a Public Deffender and theres no way I can afford a deffence atterny. I dont think a public deffender would take my case anyway, I wont take a plea...

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by vaiguy View Post
        What hurts is that I make to much for a Public Deffender and theres no way I can afford a deffence atterny. I dont think a public deffender would take my case anyway, I wont take a plea...
        Attorneys take credit cards or you can use the home equity loan... I carry quite a debt to lawyers myself at 8.5% interest.

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        • #5
          This why Im sunk, Were are just about to do our first signing of our house which we only have cuz it owner fianced and thires no credit cards, no family members that can help, so Im priety much on my own. and now having to go 30 days if not longer not being able to even communacate with my girlfriend (wife) of 10 years. We have bills and etc. This killing our family and its only been a week, I dont know were to turn.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by vaiguy View Post
            This why Im sunk, Were are just about to do our first signing of our house which we only have cuz it owner fianced and thires no credit cards, no family members that can help, so Im priety much on my own. and now having to go 30 days if not longer not being able to even communacate with my girlfriend (wife) of 10 years. We have bills and etc. This killing our family and its only been a week, I dont know were to turn.
            Why are you not allowed to communicate with your wife? Did she file charges against you?

            Look for a lawyer in the $2,500 range. Since it's your first offense, many will work for a flat fee. I can't stress enough how much you do need representation right now and it's the only way you will be able to reverse any orders in effect.

            I'm not a lawyer, I am actually on the other side. Escaped an abusive relationship and try to help others get out.

            False charges are a pet peeve with me because it makes everything harder for those that actually are being abused.

            Comment


            • #7
              Witness tapering but I dont know why.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by vaiguy View Post
                Witness tapering but I dont know why.
                It sounds like she is backing thier story, if they are worried about you speaking with her. Or they just don't want to take a chance of you telling her what to say on the stand. Sorry this is happening. I stress, YOU NEED A LAWYER!! The reason is because you have admitted to using a belt on her, wether you bruised her or not, that can and will be used against you in court. The only way you can beat this is by having one, and even then it would be hard, so sorry!

                Comment


                • #9
                  teachers are allowd to spank school kids at least 3 times with a wooden "paddle" in my state and in most cases thay dont even have to tell the parants before thay do it.

                  And I cant even give 2 swats with a belt in a controled manner...I just dont get it!

                  How can a jury convict knowing this?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by vaiguy View Post
                    teachers are allowd to spank school kids at least 3 times with a wooden "paddle" in my state and in most cases thay dont even have to tell the parants before thay do it.

                    And I cant even give 2 swats with a belt in a controled manner...I just dont get it!

                    How can a jury convict knowing this?
                    They are claiming more than just your 2 swats according to the original post. Since there were bruises and no one has been able to confirm where they were from, you're going to have a tough time stating otherwise if your child is claiming you did it.

                    You need a lawyer, but the judge probably already told you that. You won't get out of this with nothing, it just doesn't happen.

                    Since this is a first offense, I can see parenting classes, maybe anger management or domestic abuse classes and possibly a probationary period. But only if you get a lawyer, without jailtime is a large possibility.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by vaiguy View Post
                      teachers are allowd to spank school kids at least 3 times with a wooden "paddle" in my state and in most cases thay dont even have to tell the parants before thay do it.

                      And I cant even give 2 swats with a belt in a controled manner...I just dont get it!

                      How can a jury convict knowing this?
                      If ANY one hit my child with a paddle They would find themselves on the receiving end of it!
                      Why do people feel the need to strike their children with belts and paddles? And we wonder why children grow up to resolve their issues with violence...that is what they learned as children from their parents.
                      Please Note: My "warm and fuzzy" font is not working, therefor my posts will be direct and to the point.

                      Thank you in advance for your anticipated understanding.

                      Bay

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I have pictures of the bruse which is on the inside of the knee area at the same hight as the pedal in the up position and the bruse size match the size of the end of the pedal, perfictly round. The DFS worker didnt even ask to see the bike. I only have one pair of steel toed boots and her statment is that she thinks I kicked her when I was walking along side of her and she was on the bike. Now she fell over on the bike a least a half of dozen times, but she herself said I was not touching her or near her when she fell over. (we "were" teaching her to ride) The last thing I heard the case worker saying to me is that she was more consered about the spanking.

                        I was spanked at home, at SCHOOL and by my Sunday school teacher and I belive I should be alowed the same right that a school does to spank my child. Theres a deffrance between a beating and a spanking.

                        I read once that kids that get sent to there room or put in timeout as a punishment tend to be more comfertable in a prison enviorment and that the soclution of jail isnt that much of a deturint for them to stay out of trouble.
                        Last edited by vaiguy; 03-14-2007, 11:11 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by vaiguy View Post
                          I have pictures of the bruse which is on the inside of the knee area at the same hight as the pedal in the up position and the bruse size match the size of the end of the pedal, perfictly round. The DFS worker didnt even ask to see the bike. I only have one pair of steel toed boots and her statment is that she thinks I kicked her when I was walking along side of her and she was on the bike. Now she fell over on the bike a least a half of dozen times, but she herself said I was not touching her or near her when she fell over. (we "were" teaching her to ride) The last thing I heard the case worker saying to me is that she was more consered about the spanking.

                          I was spanked at home, at SCHOOL and by my Sunday school teacher and I belive I should be alowed the same right that a school does to spank my child. Theres a deffrance between a beating and a spanking.

                          I read once that kids that get sent to there room or put in timeout as a punishment tend to be more comfertable in a prison enviorment and that the soclution of jail isnt that much of a deturint for them to stay out of trouble.
                          Tough one there, because I lived in the south, where that was the norm, and my father always told the teachers, if you paddle my child, I WILL return to do the same to you! We never believed that anyone had the right to spank a child with an object. In the state where I live now, it is more than child abuse, it is assault with a deadly weapon, or intent to do bodily harm! So, I guess I am saying that I can not give you unbiased opinions on this, because, using an instrument, IS BEATING A CHILD! I did not do just timeouts or groundings, because they are lame at times, but once when my child dissapeared for a weekend, I put every c.d in a plastic bag, and put a hammer to it all. With kids, thier belongings are where it is at. My child tells me now, she hated me for that, but she knows it stopped her from a very bad road, and thanks me now. Just saying you can hurt them more with possesions, than bodily harm. The marks from the bodily harm dissapear in time, the want for those c.d's lasted a long long time. Good luck to you, I do realize that raising a child is very difficult!!!
                          Last edited by turbowray; 03-18-2007, 08:58 AM.

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                          • #14
                            I DONT WANT TO HURT MY CHILD!!!! So far, every one here are just giving double standers. Ok, so giving a child of 8, 2 small swats with a belt is worst than letting them watch you DESTOY things thay hold to be specail to them. That mental abuse all the way!

                            To spank a child or not, BUT its not agenst the law, and by the way, what are you teaching your child when you threten a teacher with what you will do if they spank your kid. From what you just wrote, your house has more hate than mine. when I spank, its not in anger and my little girl knows why its diffrant.

                            In 8 years of her life she has had 2 spankings and each were as a last resort.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Let's get back to the point.

                              You need a lawyer. This is not an option. You are in the "sell the truck to get the money" end of the emergency spectrum.

                              You admitted hitting your child. You admitted having an 8 year old girl drop her pants to do it.

                              Neither of these admissions is going to help you. I would also avoid talking about corporal punishment's value over mental abuse... most would consider asking an 8 year old girl to present herself to you partially nude for punishment as mental abuse.

                              So, leave that alone.

                              You will need to get anyone that saw you teaching her to ride her bike to write you testimony.

                              Lastly, the witness they are worried about you influencing is the little girl... the same one that made the claim. She has already given her side of the story... now you give yours.

                              What carries more weight is up to the judge.
                              Not everything that makes you mad, sad or uncomfortable is legally actionable.

                              I am not now nor ever was an attorney.

                              Any statements I make are based purely upon my personal experiences and research which may or may not be accurate in a court of law.

                              Comment

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