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too much to handle

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  • too much to handle

    I have been with the same man for about 12 to 13 years now. We have 2 children together and have been through a lot. He pysically abused me for years and I stayed now he is in to the emotional stuff. We got married almost 2 years ago now and its getting worse. I don't work because when he wants to pack up and leave we just go. He thinks because he works that I should be his slave and do as he says. I have been standing up for myself lately and its getting worse around here. I want to leave because I have been through too much with this man but emotionally I am drained. I can't handle much from him anymore. I know I need to leave to make the kids and I happy and safe but where can I go. I have no money and no where to go. I need suggestions and help. Where can I go to talk to someone? The emotional stuff is getting harder for me and I know the pysical stuff is not far behind. It's been a hard and long road for us. The pysical abuse and the mental things he pulls all this time. I want to learn to love myself agian and for the kids and I to feel free. They are 12 and 8 and I am only 31. We need help!!

  • #2
    Have you checked out your county's Health and Human Services Department? A social worker can get you the names and phone numbers of various organizations for women in your situation. Look in a phone book. If you don't have access to a phone or book, go to the local library. A librarian can easily direct you to the right resources. They would be more than happy to help someone in your situation. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. If nothing else, think about the environment your children are being raised in. You sound like you are. This is one of those times to tuck your pride in your pocket and speak up.

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    • #3
      First, you need to check into a shelter for abused women. They do allow children in, they are safe houses and their locations are confidential. Second, obtain a PPO against him. Third, with this in mind, understand this. Domestic violence IS a crime. Not only in the criminal sense, but, is a crime against all involved, you AND the children.

      Children that are exposed to domestic violence tend to be abusers themselves. ANY woman that is being beaten by her husband should get out! There is a chain in domestic violence. It always starts with verbal abuse and escalates to physical abuse. It is one of the growing leading causes of death amongst women.

      In the past 17 plus years of working in the field of emergency medicine in the EMS field, I have seen many, many, MANY women beaten SO bad, that they were hospitalized and many women shot, stabbed or beaten to death because they refuse to do anything to help themselves get out of the situation.

      Aside from the one that's abused, who pays? The children involved. They pay by bearing emotional scars for life as well as physical scars in some circumstances.

      Leave and leave at once before he does something to cause greater harm than he already has. Grab the children and go. Don't just talk about it or think about it, just do it. You are still a young woman and have years ahead of you. Good years I hope! If you get involved with another man, watch for the tell tail signs of the potential for abuse.

      Not all of us men are that way, but, no man has the right to beat his wife or girlfriend...ever. Same goes with women (Yes, there are abusive women as well and many men in this nation DO get abused by their wives, physically).

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      • #4
        See if there is a womens shelter or community center near you that can get you to services like applying for welfare, getting you housing, getting you legal aid to get a divorce and custody of the kids, a protective order against the abusive husband and job training to help you support yourself.

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