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    Hi, I have a question and am hoping that someone can help me. I have a restraining order against my ex, but I have to speak to him on the telephone about the kids. Sometimes we can have a normal conversation, at other times he gets loud, gets angry puts me down.He insists on talking and keeping me on the phone so he can (as I feel ) scold me. I went to court the other day to file for a modification of the restraining order stating that I do not want to speak to him any longer on the phone because he yells and picks fights with me over the kids. Is this a direct violation of the restraining order? I think it is, but I really am not sure. Some help would be appreciated. Thank you

  • #2
    Unfortunately you do need to talk/ have some way of communicating about the children. Perhaps you should try e-mails or writing letters. This way you can give him any information he needs and you will have evidence of when he gets out of line.
    When you go to court it will be your word against his....unless you have it on tape. (and in some states it is illegal to record phone conversations without telling the other party that the conversation is being recorded. If you plan on recording any phone calls, inform him you are recording the call...And him knowing that the conversation is being recorded will keep him in line if he has half a brain...Do NOT record his conversations with his child because most states do not allow one parent to interfere with the other parents communications with the children. )
    Keep a log of your communications if you don't already.
    Remember that once you've given him the information, you can hang up at any time.... simply say,"okay, I've said what I need and I'm going to hang up. Good Bye." Just keep an even tone and say it while he is screaming. You do not need to listen to it. If he is yelling, don't argue about anything..."Perhaps we can discuss this when you calm down. I'm hanging up now, Good bye".
    If he continues to call you multiple times in a short period of time, that could be harrassment. (Bring your phone records to court/ or if you don't have time to get them, your caller ID unit.)
    Don't give him the "power". Just remain calm and don't give him any reaction to what he is doing.
    ***If you are going to have any chance at getting this modification, you must have an alternative form of communication ready to suggest to the judge.

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