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  • #16
    Originally posted by ceara
    With your case, mom could have told the judge that an agreement had already been reached and that was what you both wanted to be ordered and the judge SHOULD have approved it. The only reasons not to would be if the children were on government assistance or the agreement was against public policy.

    When both parties can't agree or one party changes their mind the agreement is void and the court will use the state guidelines to set support.
    Ceara, thank you for your clarifications and your patience.

    I think what probably happened in my case is that my wife filed very soon after I left, and the documents took almost 2 months to get to me (hence the back support was really only retroactive to the filing date) - hadn't thought of that before.

    So the lesson learned is, if you seperate and intend to pay support, it would be best to consult the state guidelines for an estimated monthly amount, rather than agree on an amount which both parties think is fair.

    Thanks again for the clarifications, and my apologies to mjmatt1978 for hijacking your thread. Good luck with your visitation with your little girl!

    Comment


    • #17
      clarify

      just to clarify.. we were never married, but i signed the birth cert. because i know 99.9% that she is mine. does that change anything?

      btw, boobatuba, not a problem.. the forum is for everyone..
      Last edited by mjmatt1978; 05-15-2006, 09:59 AM.

      Comment


      • #18
        With my oldest 2, before we went to court I payed cash some times I got reciepts sometimes not, some times checks. When we went to court she said I never paid, I showed the judge the reciepts and checks, but he said it was all considered a gift until the courts order support. Then they took my tax return because she filed for state help and told them I was not paying support at all. When I got that all cleared up they told me they could not give me the money it was up to me to get it from her. I had to pay 3 times for every payment. Now I half custody of them and do not get a dime from her.... Go figure huh?

        But I have the kids!!!

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by satmike
          With my oldest 2, before we went to court I payed cash some times I got reciepts sometimes not, some times checks. When we went to court she said I never paid, I showed the judge the reciepts and checks, but he said it was all considered a gift until the courts order support. Then they took my tax return because she filed for state help and told them I was not paying support at all. When I got that all cleared up they told me they could not give me the money it was up to me to get it from her. I had to pay 3 times for every payment. Now I half custody of them and do not get a dime from her.... Go figure huh?

          But I have the kids!!!

          That is the important part having the kids. Money can be replaced, kids can't. Although the money thing can suck!!!

          Comment


          • #20
            If the courts terminated the child support order because the CP agree with the NCP on an amount of money outside the court system and had a letter notorized by both, could the CP take the NCP back to court to start the garnishments again? If so, would check reciepts for monies paid count then? Never thought about it before this post came along.

            Comment


            • #21
              So let me ask this, what do you do in the meantime, until there is a court order for support? Do you just tell the CP that you can't give anything for the kids until there is a CO? That wouldn't be right either, as I heard it can take some time for the support order to go through. I think that if the NCP is willing to pay support in the meantime, it should not be considered a gift, it should be considered as what it really is..child support.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by mjmatt1978
                hello everyone, heres my situation. I am a 27 yr old father of a 7 year old girl who i get roughly every other weekend. her mother and i split up around the time she was born we came to an agreement to never go to court. we made an agreement that i would pay her half of whatever expenses our daughter covered, and as her expenses went up (daycare, school clothes, etc) i would pay half of the difference.. whatever was fair.

                well like a moron i paid cash for the first 5-6 years thinking we woundt ever have a reason to go to court. i never got reciepts like i should have.

                now shes gong a little nuts and trying to keep me away from her. i'm thinking about going to court to get my weekend custody back.. if she tells the court that ive never made a payment am i screwed like i think i will be? i live in FL and ive been getting reciepts for about a year now. any help would be great thanks...






                About 6 yrs ago my husband was brought back to court for this reason. The ex claimed that he NEVER paid anything for about 5 yrs. We had to go back that far for proof. She claimed it came out to be about $26,000. We had had old pay stubs and had to pay for copies of old checks (front & back). Our lawyer came right out and told us, no reciept then it was never paid. We found about $17,000 worth of old paystubs and old check registors. Thank heavens my husband is a pack rat. I never would have kept 5 yrs worth of that kind of stuff.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by KAW1962
                  So let me ask this, what do you do in the meantime, until there is a court order for support? Do you just tell the CP that you can't give anything for the kids until there is a CO? That wouldn't be right either, as I heard it can take some time for the support order to go through. I think that if the NCP is willing to pay support in the meantime, it should not be considered a gift, it should be considered as what it really is..child support.
                  Well, the court often times has nothing to do with common sense and decency. Of course, if the parent recieving the money before the order was established would be honest, then there would be no need for this discussion. Sad, isn't it?
                  HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                  How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                  (unique up on him)
                  How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                  (same way)

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by mommyof4
                    Well, the court often times has nothing to do with common sense and decency. Of course, if the parent recieving the money before the order was established would be honest, then there would be no need for this discussion. Sad, isn't it?
                    Yes, it is sad, but go back and read Ceara's post #10. Even if you can prove the money changed hands, it still would not be counted as support, and the person who has paid will have to pay all over again. That is not right. This is definitely one aspect of the child support system that needs to be changed.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      One of so...so...so...so...so...many!!!!

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by KAW1962
                        Yes, it is sad, but go back and read Ceara's post #10. Even if you can prove the money changed hands, it still would not be counted as support, and the person who has paid will have to pay all over again. That is not right. This is definitely one aspect of the child support system that needs to be changed.
                        If you read it more clearly, you will see that she stated that courts RARELY order back support beyond the filing date of a support order.
                        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
                        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
                        (unique up on him)
                        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
                        (same way)

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by boobatuba
                          So the lesson learned is, if you seperate and intend to pay support, it would be best to consult the state guidelines for an estimated monthly amount, rather than agree on an amount which both parties think is fair.
                          Consult the guidelines and then start setting aside that amount each month until a support order is issued.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by KAW1962
                            So let me ask this, what do you do in the meantime, until there is a court order for support? Do you just tell the CP that you can't give anything for the kids until there is a CO? That wouldn't be right either, as I heard it can take some time for the support order to go through. I think that if the NCP is willing to pay support in the meantime, it should not be considered a gift, it should be considered as what it really is..child support.
                            You shouldn't pay anything unless you don't care that the money will not be considered support and don't mind paying it twice.

                            It can take months before a FINAL order is issued. However, it doesn't take long to get a temporary order so that the support can start ASAP. It took me almost 2 years to get a final order, but it was only 10 days after I filed to get a temporary custody and support order.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              When I Took My Son Dad To Court Since We Were Not Married I Was Not Eligible For Back Child Support Just Til The Day I Filed A Court Petition! Good Luck!!!!!!!1

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                this gift crap

                                A father pays child support every month and is never late and finds out because it wasnt court ordered its considered a gift? The court just figures that us guys have a extra 400 to 500 bucks to give to a ex girlfriend or wife . Is there any common sense in this world? Oh yeah i forgot we are in the world that the courts reward someone a million bucks for spilling coffe on themselves, go figure

                                Comment

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