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  • paid cash

    hello everyone, heres my situation. I am a 27 yr old father of a 7 year old girl who i get roughly every other weekend. her mother and i split up around the time she was born we came to an agreement to never go to court. we made an agreement that i would pay her half of whatever expenses our daughter covered, and as her expenses went up (daycare, school clothes, etc) i would pay half of the difference.. whatever was fair.

    well like a moron i paid cash for the first 5-6 years thinking we woundt ever have a reason to go to court. i never got reciepts like i should have.

    now shes gong a little nuts and trying to keep me away from her. i'm thinking about going to court to get my weekend custody back.. if she tells the court that ive never made a payment am i screwed like i think i will be? i live in FL and ive been getting reciepts for about a year now. any help would be great thanks...

  • #2
    If I am not mistaken she cant go back any farther that 2 years for child support! But I'm not 100%

    Comment


    • #3
      RE: Paid Cash

      This exact same thing happened to my husband except it was 2 yrs instead of 5 to 6 yrs like yours. And he ended up having to pay that 2 yrs worth of child support twice, once to her in cash, then she told the court that he didn't pay and he had to pay her again, except he had to send it through the state disbursement unit the 2nd time. My husband even had some reciepts that she wrote up and those don't hold up in court. Cancelled checks don't work either. One thing I would do if I were in your situation is check with your local courthouse about setting up an account to pay your cs through them, most courthouses have a child support dept., if not they can tell you were you can do it. Do it soon though before you rack up anymore back cs, it can add up fast! In IL if a father is ordered to pay cs, they make him pay 20% of his gross income to the mother. So, more than likely you will have to pay back a similiar amount for the 5-6yrs you paid her cash. What they did to my husband is make him pay his normal amount and then added on like 25-30 extra a week to pay back for when he paid her cash, so he didn't have to pay in one lump sum. Hope this helps, sorry I had to be the bearer of bad news though!

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      • #4
        I just wanted to specify that it was never court ordered that I pay child support to begin with. I was told that because it was never court ordered I should not be responsible for any back child support. Thanks.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mjmatt1978
          hello everyone, heres my situation. I am a 27 yr old father of a 7 year old girl who i get roughly every other weekend. her mother and i split up around the time she was born we came to an agreement to never go to court. we made an agreement that i would pay her half of whatever expenses our daughter covered, and as her expenses went up (daycare, school clothes, etc) i would pay half of the difference.. whatever was fair.

          well like a moron i paid cash for the first 5-6 years thinking we woundt ever have a reason to go to court. i never got reciepts like i should have.

          now shes gong a little nuts and trying to keep me away from her. i'm thinking about going to court to get my weekend custody back.. if she tells the court that ive never made a payment am i screwed like i think i will be? i live in FL and ive been getting reciepts for about a year now. any help would be great thanks...
          If you mean that she may tell the court you didn't pay for the extra things, but did pay the child support, mom will have to PROVE that SHE actually paid for them. What are the chances that she will have receipts for things like this?

          The daycare would be easy enough to prove, but the other items could be hard for her to prove.

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          • #6
            I'm sorry my husband was court ordered, hopefully what you heard is true.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Michelle523
              If I am not mistaken she cant go back any farther that 2 years for child support! But I'm not 100%
              The judge has the discretion to go back as far as he wants to in most cases. However, the support order only goes back to the date the motion for child support is first filed. That is why it is ALWAYS a good idea to start setting aside 20-30% of your check each pay period if you are served with child support papers so you will have the money to pay for the arrears the day the order is issued.

              Comment


              • #8
                She's right. Start putting money to the side. Because he might order for you to pay "back child support". It will be more than 20-30% until it is paid in full.

                MAKE SURE you have reciepts. Get a money order. Thats a good one.

                -Justin
                -Central Illinois

                Comment


                • #9
                  how come check reciepts dont count?

                  If someones been paying and has the check stubs to show it , how can that not count?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by jmbamb41
                    If someones been paying and has the check stubs to show it , how can that not count?
                    Because until the court ORDERS a person to pay, it is considered a gift even though you can prove the money changed hands.

                    Once the order is in place, it very clearly states that in order for the payments to count as child support, they MUST be paid in the manner descibed in the order.

                    This is one of the reasons that courts RARELY order support to be retroactive to anytime BEFORE the motion was filed with the court.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ceara
                      Because until the court ORDERS a person to pay, it is considered a gift even though you can prove the money changed hands.

                      Once the order is in place, it very clearly states that in order for the payments to count as child support, they MUST be paid in the manner descibed in the order.

                      This is one of the reasons that courts RARELY order support to be retroactive to anytime BEFORE the motion was filed with the court.
                      Unless you happen to be married, eh Ceara? Then they can order the support retroactive to the CP kicking you out? Even though you paid what the CP asked for in writing? Or maybe if the CP is unreasonable, and says "Yes, I WOULD like back child support"? Then where is the support retroactive to?

                      Or maybe that's just here in backward-'ol Oklahoma...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by boobatuba
                        Unless you happen to be married, eh Ceara? Then they can order the support retroactive to the CP kicking you out? Even though you paid what the CP asked for in writing? Or maybe if the CP is unreasonable, and says "Yes, I WOULD like back child support"? Then where is the support retroactive to?

                        Or maybe that's just here in backward-'ol Oklahoma...
                        That's right. The reason that married parents have different rules is because paternity is not a question. It is automatically presumed that a child born during a marriage is the product of that marriage and therefore both parents are responsible for the care of the child.

                        However, it is easier to have money paid prior to the issuance of a court order counted as child support as opposed to a gift.

                        That said, no matter what the circumstance, having the money declared child support instead of a gift would not be a problem if parents would all start acting like the PARENTS instead of children.

                        When the case goes in front of a judge and the NCP shows proof (or is just HONEST) of money given to the CP for the purpose of supporting the child and the CP would tell the TRUTH about whatever arrangement they had at the time, it wouldn't be an issue.

                        No matter what the court decides, the CP has the option of issuing a receipt for the payments made before the order that would count as a credit against any arrears.

                        Parents need to grow the hell up and decide to love their children more then they hate their ex.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ceara
                          Parents need to grow the hell up and decide to love their children more then they hate their ex.
                          Agreed. Another point to Ceara...

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                          • #14
                            Of course...going back to the OPs topic...we never were told or asked if he was married to his little girl's mother. If she decides to be difficult, I wonder if the agreement he made with his ex would mean any more than the one I made with mine (read...it meant nothing in the eyes of the court).

                            Ceara, you said in post #7 with conviction that the support order only goes back to the date the motion for child support is first filed. Is that assuming that the OP was not married to his child's mother? Because in my case, it was made retroactive to the seperation...even though I was fulfilling the agreement my wife printed and we both signed. The state just apparently didn't think what I paid was enough.

                            Cheers!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by boobatuba
                              Of course...going back to the OPs topic...we never were told or asked if he was married to his little girl's mother. If she decides to be difficult, I wonder if the agreement he made with his ex would mean any more than the one I made with mine (read...it meant nothing in the eyes of the court).

                              Ceara, you said in post #7 with conviction that the support order only goes back to the date the motion for child support is first filed. Is that assuming that the OP was not married to his child's mother? Because in my case, it was made retroactive to the seperation...even though I was fulfilling the agreement my wife printed and we both signed. The state just apparently didn't think what I paid was enough.

                              Cheers!
                              I am assuming they were not married because he said:
                              her mother and i split up
                              Normally when the parents are married they say "When the mother and I DIVORCED".

                              With your case, mom could have told the judge that an agreement had already been reached and that was what you both wanted to be ordered and the judge SHOULD have approved it. The only reasons not to would be if the children were on government assistance or the agreement was against public policy.

                              When both parties can't agree or one party changes their mind the agreement is void and the court will use the state guidelines to set support.

                              Comment

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