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  • looking for help!! please read.......

    Hello everyone I am new here but I hope someone can help me sooo here is my story or my husbands story really
    ok my husband and his x wife adopted a speical needs child while they were married from the state of illinos. (we live in wisconsin) when they got divorce last May he gave her sole custidy with vistition for himself .For the last year now my husband has been trying to see and or talk to his son and she gives him every reason in the book why he can't see him and now that he remarried she has blocked all our phne numbers so now he can't even leave a message (which for the last 6 months was all he could do cuz she won't anwser the phone).She went so far as to tell us that Alex who is 5yrs old is old enough to make his own dissitions and he does not want to see his dad.(yes i know what you are all thinking if he was old enough why do we need gal's and hell i might as well give him a drivers liesces too)We know she is in contempt of court for not allowing my husband to see or talk to his son and since this will be an on going thing for years to come my husband would like to grant her her wish and relinkwish his rights. now remeber this child is adopted and because he is a special needs child she gets a subsidy of nine hundrend dollars from the state of Ill on top of $500.00 for the state of wi for child support and on top of that she has a college degree and make really good money. we talked to a lawyer and they tell us that if we try sign off on his rights that he would still have to pay child support (even if we got her to sign something stating that she agrees to it and does not want his support money and a couple of friends keep telling me that because the child is not of his blood that he should be able to give up his rights and i've been told that if we can prove she can support the child with out reciving child support that he could give up his rts to pay support and i was also told that in the state of Ill that if you are reciving support in a different state is a no no they call it double dipping. can anyone help me figure out how to go about this or if anyone know a website that would show me state statues or laws about this situation because we want to do this right and not get screwed so to speak remeber this child is adopted not of blood and my husband loves his son but he is sick of his x putting the child in the middle( because all she is doing hurting the child ) thank you for taking the time to read this .....xxxMandy

  • #2
    Originally posted by msladybuglove
    Hello everyone I am new here but I hope someone can help me sooo here is my story or my husbands story really
    ok my husband and his x wife adopted a speical needs child while they were married from the state of illinos. (we live in wisconsin) when they got divorce last May he gave her sole custidy with vistition for himself .For the last year now my husband has been trying to see and or talk to his son and she gives him every reason in the book why he can't see him and now that he remarried she has blocked all our phne numbers so now he can't even leave a message (which for the last 6 months was all he could do cuz she won't anwser the phone).She went so far as to tell us that Alex who is 5yrs old is old enough to make his own dissitions and he does not want to see his dad.(yes i know what you are all thinking if he was old enough why do we need gal's and hell i might as well give him a drivers liesces too)We know she is in contempt of court for not allowing my husband to see or talk to his son and since this will be an on going thing for years to come my husband would like to grant her her wish and relinkwish his rights. now remeber this child is adopted and because he is a special needs child she gets a subsidy of nine hundrend dollars from the state of Ill on top of $500.00 for the state of wi for child support and on top of that she has a college degree and make really good money. we talked to a lawyer and they tell us that if we try sign off on his rights that he would still have to pay child support (even if we got her to sign something stating that she agrees to it and does not want his support money and a couple of friends keep telling me that because the child is not of his blood that he should be able to give up his rights and i've been told that if we can prove she can support the child with out reciving child support that he could give up his rts to pay support and i was also told that in the state of Ill that if you are reciving support in a different state is a no no they call it double dipping. can anyone help me figure out how to go about this or if anyone know a website that would show me state statues or laws about this situation because we want to do this right and not get screwed so to speak remeber this child is adopted not of blood and my husband loves his son but he is sick of his x putting the child in the middle( because all she is doing hurting the child ) thank you for taking the time to read this .....xxxMandy
    The only thing that I feel needs to be addressed is the belief that this poor boy is not a true "son" of your husbands. Yes, legally, this child is his, all paid for, no return policy. There is no difference recognized by the legal system between a biological child and an adopted child. So, get the idea that it is easier to terminate his parental rights and responsibilities because the child is adopted out of your mind.

    If the mother is refusing to allow court ordered visitation, your husband needs to file contempt charges every single time. She will get the message.
    HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
    How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
    (unique up on him)
    How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
    (same way)

    Comment


    • #3
      first off the MOTHER is pushing the issue she is begging him to termanate his rights. otherwise I wouldn't be asking for advise! we have filed for contept and are waiting to go to court. she is trying to termanate his rts on the staue of abondment (because she has refused him to see his child ) and if that is the case then let her have him there are single men and or women that adopt everyday it's not like she can't afford to support the child on her own. We don't want to see the child go through another drawn out court battle she is always putting the child in the middle and that is not fair to either and we all know what happens when the child is being held from the other parent nine out of ten times the child will resent the parent who kept them from seeing the other parent !
      It pisses me off that she is doing this there are sooo many single mothers out there (i was for nine yrs)that would give there left arm if the father would be in there childs life and to count on them for support and here is a man that wants to do just that and she won't let him it angers me that she does not know how lucky she is ! I guess thats why i feel that if thats what she wants then let her have it the saying goes you don't know how good you have it till its gone!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by msladybuglove
        first off the MOTHER is pushing the issue she is begging him to termanate his rights. otherwise I wouldn't be asking for advise! we have filed for contept and are waiting to go to court. she is trying to termanate his rts on the staue of abondment (because she has refused him to see his child ) and if that is the case then let her have him there are single men and or women that adopt everyday it's not like she can't afford to support the child on her own. We don't want to see the child go through another drawn out court battle she is always putting the child in the middle and that is not fair to either and we all know what happens when the child is being held from the other parent nine out of ten times the child will resent the parent who kept them from seeing the other parent !
        It pisses me off that she is doing this there are sooo many single mothers out there (i was for nine yrs)that would give there left arm if the father would be in there childs life and to count on them for support and here is a man that wants to do just that and she won't let him it angers me that she does not know how lucky she is ! I guess thats why i feel that if thats what she wants then let her have it the saying goes you don't know how good you have it till its gone!!
        I was not commenting on whether or not he should terminate rights. I was commenting on the statements made about how the adopted child isn't the same as a biological child.

        If the mother is this vengeful, your husband, while contemplating terminating his rights, should also consider filing a modification for custody. If he is going to continue to persue visitation, he needs to file contempt charges every single time visitation is denied. EVERY TIME. At first, she will probably get a slap on the wrist, but as each new charge comes, the penalties will get harsher.

        In answer to your question about paying cs, the only cs he would owe if he terminated his rights would be any arrearages he owes. Once the tpr is done, the child is no longer his, He has no responsibilities to the child, nor does he have any privileges.
        HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!
        How do you catch a very rare rabbit?
        (unique up on him)
        How do catch an ordinary rabbit?
        (same way)

        Comment

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