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  • Please help with advice!

    I'm going to try to sum up my situation...I am currently living in nyc. I am from NC. I had my beautiful daughter, Kiana, with me in NC until 2001. I was legally separated at the time from her father, who was living in NY. NC courts had ordered my mother temporary custody ( she lives in NC). Her father & I made an oral agreement that he can come pick her up & have her for a few mths to make up for lost time. He came to NC June 01 and has had her ever since. I would call & talk to her thinking he was bringing her back. All along he & his mother were planning on keeping her! After the 5th month of him telling me he was going 2 bring her back he told me he decided he was going to keep her with him. I freaked out & talked to a few lawyers, but they all told me that it's NY's jurisdiction now. I found out that after a parent has had a child for 6 mths or more in NY, that they have legal custody under NY's jurisdiction. I was struggling for money as it was & could'nt afford to pay thousands of dollars on lawyers in nyc or hotel stays. He ended up filing for divorce in March of 2002. We had married in May 97 & had been separated since 98. All that time & he waits until he has my daughter to file so he could put on the divorce that she is living at his residence! I also did not know what the grounds for divorce were or what was going to be on the divorce papers! He stopped communicating with me. A sheriff shows up at my mother's & I sign a paper saying I received a notice of divorce, but with no information on it! I was so caught up in a whirlwind. I got "copies" of the final divorce in which I found out that he filed under the grounds that I abandoned him! How?! Is that legal? I was born & raised in NC & he's the 1 that left my daughter & I! He also put her as living with him. I have had no rights to her since! I even moved up here 2 nyc in 2003. He never lets me see her. He never has her call me. She's my heart...What can I do? can I change my divorce on false pretenses? How can I get custody of my baby? Please help...thank you!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Heartbroken4Kiana
    I'm going to try to sum up my situation...I am currently living in nyc. I am from NC. I had my beautiful daughter, Kiana, with me in NC until 2001. I was legally separated at the time from her father, who was living in NY. NC courts had ordered my mother temporary custody ( she lives in NC). Her father & I made an oral agreement that he can come pick her up & have her for a few mths to make up for lost time. He came to NC June 01 and has had her ever since. I would call & talk to her thinking he was bringing her back. All along he & his mother were planning on keeping her! After the 5th month of him telling me he was going 2 bring her back he told me he decided he was going to keep her with him. I freaked out & talked to a few lawyers, but they all told me that it's NY's jurisdiction now. I found out that after a parent has had a child for 6 mths or more in NY, that they have legal custody under NY's jurisdiction. I was struggling for money as it was & could'nt afford to pay thousands of dollars on lawyers in nyc or hotel stays. He ended up filing for divorce in March of 2002. We had married in May 97 & had been separated since 98. All that time & he waits until he has my daughter to file so he could put on the divorce that she is living at his residence! I also did not know what the grounds for divorce were or what was going to be on the divorce papers! He stopped communicating with me. A sheriff shows up at my mother's & I sign a paper saying I received a notice of divorce, but with no information on it! I was so caught up in a whirlwind. I got "copies" of the final divorce in which I found out that he filed under the grounds that I abandoned him! How?! Is that legal? I was born & raised in NC & he's the 1 that left my daughter & I! He also put her as living with him. I have had no rights to her since! I even moved up here 2 nyc in 2003. He never lets me see her. He never has her call me. She's my heart...What can I do? can I change my divorce on false pretenses? How can I get custody of my baby? Please help...thank you!
    OK, first things first:

    1. According to the divorce decree-
    Who has custody of the child?
    Do you have any visitation rights?
    Is there an order for you to pay CS?

    2. Why has it taken you 5 years to attempt to do anything (3 since you moved to NY)?

    You will have to get an attorney, from a legal standpoint you have abandonded your child, so it's doubtful that you can get full custody at this point. You will most likely be able to get visitation though. Since you and your daughter don't know each other, the court will likely set up visitation with a supervised get to know each other period, but then regular visitations after that.

    Check to see if Legal Aid is available in your area, also call the Bar Association to see if they have a list of attorney's doing pro bono work.
    Xena

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